False Prophet Ronald Weinland

As I predicted in my post on Wednesday, Terry Wrozek filled in for False Prophet Ronald Weinland on the third weekend in a row that he has missed delivering a sermon.  God’s most formidable prophet apparently is still dealing with the aftereffects of appendicitis.  I say “apparently” because Terry didn’t breath a single word about his spiritual idol.  There were no indications of others present during Terry’s sermon, so I believe that he recorded it in a room by himself.

With a bit more research including consultation with someone who has a medical background, here’s possibly what has happened:  On the Day of Atonement, Ron started his episode with appendicitis.  He suffered severe abdominal pain and was not able to deliver the sermon that day.  His appendix then ruptured and the pain subsided enough that he was able to travel to New Zealand, meet the son of the Man of Sin in an airport, and deliver 4 new trivial “truths” during the feast of tabernacles.  However, stomach bile and fecal matter were oozing into his abdominal cavity via the perforated appendix, and infection set in in forcing him to seek medical attention after the feast of tabernacles (two weeks ago).  The delay in seeking medical attention means that his recovery is delayed more than normal as he deals with the resulting complications.

If my speculation is correct, then I expect that when and if he returns Ron will spin the situation as God battling Satan, holding back the appendicitis until after he could deliver his 4 “truths”. <barf>

Strenuous activity is to be avoided for a time after an appendectomy.  But two weeks on, he should have recovered enough to be able to deliver a sermon.  Word is that he often speaks sitting down, which normally works given the crowds of a dozen or so he speaks to in smaller hotel conference rooms.  But it seems that he’s bedridden and in such bad shape that he couldn’t even prepare and record a sermon from bed.  Perhaps even more could be read from the lack of any status from Terry, but maybe the Spokesman Witness will be back next week thundering about critics who lie, twist, and distort.  In some cases appendicitis can be fatal, but that can’t possibly happen to Ron as he has to remain alive to be killed by the Beast Power in the streets of Jerusalem on May 23, 2012 as the Asiatic Hordes gather nearby in the Valley of Meggiddo for the great battle to commence the following weekend.  Besides, it’s my fate to die speedily from the inside according to the curse he issued against me 95 weeks ago.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Los Angeles.  Even though he was speaking in the second largest metropolitan area in Manasseh and had people attending from San Jose, Utah, El Paso, and Arizona, as well as elder Ralph Dowd, evangelist Terry Wrozek, senior elder Ann Wrozek, and someone from the UK, the spokesman witness was able to speak to everyone present without sound amplification by having them move the chairs closer together.

Ron is looking forward to the elders training session at the end of February.  He cautioned his members that they should not travel to Cincinnati that weekend expecting to socialize with the new elders.  Nor should they stay in the same hotel with all the new elders, as they need to concentrate on learning their new duties.  I can state your duties very succinctly: refer every question to the FAQs on the church website and if that doesn’t work, pass the issue on to Ron.  Although Ron did pass the funeral for a member who died this week to senior elder Steve Dalrymple — I guess Ron’s too busy writing blog posts during the week to travel a couple of hundred miles.

Surprisingly, Ron did not mention the tragedy unfolding in Haiti due to the severe earthquake experienced there.  But maybe not so surprising, since he’s switched from prophecy to the wonders of new doctrine.  Looks like we’ll have to wait until Feb 6 for the next dose of new “truth” from God’s end-time Elijah-to-come.

Ron continued on the topic of relationships between the sexes, and their “rolls”.  (“Roles” to the rest of us.)  According to Ron, it’s against nature for a male to have long hair and for a female to have short hair.  So here’s a little quiz.  Of the two pictures of the long-haired and short-haired animals shown on this post, which is the male and which is the female?  Check your answer here.

Now only 123 more weeks for Ron to tap dance for his members before the non-return of Jesus Christ.

A couple of notes:

• For those in Australia, the Compass program featuring Ronald Weinland is to be repeated tonight.
• xHWA has written quite an analysis of Weinland’s latest delusions.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland spoke from Portland today, continuing on the theme rolled out in last week’s sermon, that of new ordinations including women.

During the sermon, Ron indicated that this latest rubbish will be organized as new numbered truths:

• #51: Ron is the final Elijah-to-come, John the Baptist and Herbie were only “types”.
• #52: Removal of the curse of Eve from women, restoring them to the rightful place in the family
• #53: The ordination of women is allowed

According to Ron, credit for the new truths is given to the Silent Witness who pointed out certain things.  Perhaps Laura will be promoted to Apostle as a result.  While he hasn’t posted these new “truths” on his website, he has done a little editing on two of the first fifty “truths” which I have marked to indicate the added words and deleted words.

Edits to Truth #30

Matthew 24 is first and foremost about the Church at the end-time. It is not about physical events in the end time, although these are a type of some of the events that will occur. As Jesus Christ gave prophecy concerning events that would lead to His coming as the Messiah, he first spoke of events that would occur in the Church (vs. 4-21). These events have been believed to be about physical events that would happen on earth, but they are about the Church.

God has now shown that there is a duality concerning both the Church and the world that applies to verses 21 and 22. All these prophesied events in Mat. 24 lead up to the time of the very coming of the Messiah to this earth (vs. 29-31).

Edits to Truth #39

Herbert W. Armstrong was a “type” of the prophesied “Elijah to come,” as he who restored all truth essential to salvation to the Church of God during the Philadelphia Era.

Ron has yet to edit his FAQ page which indicates that he is a God-denier just like Rod Meredith for not recognizing Herbert Armstrong as the prophesied Elijah-to-come.

Ron warned that people will lose friends after ordination.  Not because the ordained one changed but because friends become jealous as happened to him.  Riiiiggghhht.  I’m totally sure that Ron did not change even an iota when ordained as a local elder in Houston back in April of 1981.

Ron announced that 57 members had been ordained over the past couple of weeks (or would be shortly) including 31 women.  My count of the names that Ron announced was 58 (including the 3 evangelists’ wives announced last weekend) and 59 if you count Willem Henderson who was promoted to senior elder.  But Ron is the one who has the minor in math so my count must be incorrect.  Far be it from me to twist and distort.

Ron only gave first names, because of all the crackpots, kooks, or absolute liars out there who like to twist and distort.  If you are one of those, then stop reading since I have last names for most of the new elders.  And if you know who any of these crackpot, looks, and absolute liars are who like to twist and distort about PKG members, please leave a comment identifying them.  Names in bold are full elders, others are associate elders:

• Florida: Newt Carter and Diane
• Georgia: Larry Spivey (who edits Ron’s books),  Paul and Doris Giles, April Young (mother of Paul), and Alan Giles (son of Paul)
• Pacific Northwest: Bill and Diana Carr, and Jim Sullivan.  Also Tina Jamieson, wife of senior elder Jim Jamieson
• Tennessee: Gerald
• Detroit: Stan Watson, Helen Terlecki, and Parker Wrozek (Terry’s 23-year-old son).  Helen and Parker have been associated with Ron since 1995.
• Mississippi: Lori Williams, who is Laura’s friend
• Los Angeles: Dottie Smith
• Sacramento, California area: Russ Schumacher
• Lubbock, TX: Fredda Maeker
• Louisville area: Linda (Cookie) Fields (wife of elder Curtis Fields), Beverly VanNorman, and Tony Blair
• Illinois: Lynnette
• Buffalo NY area: John, Richard & Marie, Bonnie, Bob and Donna Madison
• Maine: Vicki (Vicki Snowdeal passed away from cancer last spring.  But I guess there could be another Vicki from Maine in COG-PKG).
• Dallas: Glen
• Missouri: Dee Wobbe
• Utah: Debra Tiernan
• Belgium: Mieke Van Lerberghe (wife of elder Gijs)
• Netherlands: Edwin Van Horne
• Germany: Jeremy Weinland (Ron’s 24-year-old son)
• Alberta: Eric and Kalee Wiesman
• Manitoba: George Black
• Australia: Peter Herrmann, Derek Mendygral, and Zoran Illitch (translated Ron’s books to Italian)
• New Zealand: Rex Blake
• UK: Una Milne (wife of senior elder William)
• Cincinnati region: Jenny, Patty Dalrymple (wife of senior elder Stephen), Tim Brown, Joey Shockey, April Combs, Sandy Bays, Willy and Lois Doemeland, Tom and Barb Volle

To round things out, Weinland’s daughter and church bookkeeper Audra L. Little is to be ordained as senior elder.   Perhaps this status will help her if she goes from being a potential IRS criminal investigation target to an actual one.  The IRS performs extra reviews on a case against someone with a religious title prior to recommending prosecution to the Department of Justice.

If anyone has any corrections or additions to this list, any misspellings, please leave a comment or email me.  I don’t want to be accused of twisting and distorting.

My verse of the day is Romans 12:14 which reads:

Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.

Ron forgot about that one 54 weeks ago when he issued his death curse against me to die speedily from the inside.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was a few minutes late getting started since the hall in Orlando needed to be rearranged.  During the announcements, he mentioned Tyler, a child in New Mexico who is undergoing treatment for leukemia.  I view it as a positive sign that he is being given qualified medical care and hope it works for him.

Ron made a point of not giving Tyler’s address as there supposedly are crackpots and weirdos out there who like to stir things up.  That sort of thing does not happen on my blog.   I have not published any of the addresses that have come my way, including that of the false apostle and has-been Elijah.  In fact, I’m not aware that it has happened anywhere except for a couple of incidents in comments which were quickly deleted by the website management. So Ron, whom are you talking about?

During the sermon, he railed against mockers and critics, who seek to destroy Ron and his church with lies and deceit.  Ron, I would like to see your false ministry end, but my means are to show the truth.  As I’ve said before in an email to you which you probably deleted, if I’ve said something on my site that’s not truthful then tell me what it is so I can correct it.  Rather, you impugn what I’m doing because you’re afraid that if more of your members read my site then even more will leave.

At the beginning of the sermon, Ron said it would be on the par of his sermons at the 2005 Feast of Tabernacles at which he presented his unique (at least among Armstrongites) doctrine on the origin of Christ.  First he read part way through his blog posting, and then diverted to the new topic.  After reading verses from Acts 8 and Acts 19 about the laying on of hands after baptism possible only by ordained ministers, he announced that there would be additional waves of elders.  These would be termed as associate elders, whose job it will be to baptize the hordes of people wanting to join PKG due to the fulfillment of Ron’s prophecies, which although they didn’t happen when he said they would, they will eventually.

I speculated in my last post that the status of Laura would change.  Its turns out that it has in an indirect fashion.  Laura no longer is the only ordained female in PKG.  It turns out that sleeping with an evangelist gives one spiritual qualities, as Angela (Ann) Wrozek and Myrtle Harrell were ordained by Ron as senior elders last week in Georgia.  Then Ron called Wayne Matthews in Melbourne who then ordained his wife Christine (Chris) as the third senior elder.  More men and women will be ordained as associate elders.

And Laura does have a new title.  She no longer is a prophetess.  She now is a prophet.  Ron objects to the second-class status of women, although they still will not be able to speak during services.

Some of the sealed who are older and physically not capable of performing the baptism are ineligble to be ordained.  Now this doesn’t quite make sense.  If lay members can help in the dunking part, then all they have to really do is the laying-on-of-hands part.  But why am I expecting anything Ron does to make sense.

But adding more elders including does make sense to me.  It binds the ordained ones closer to Ron so they’ll continue to ignore the failure of Ron’s prophecies. Ron plans an elders conference in Cincinnati on February 27 for training.  Ron promises more waves of ordination.  And who knows?  Maybe 20-something Tony Wilson who runs the HWA Compendium website will get to be an elder too.

Ron took time to rail against mockers and critics, who are trying to weaken the church with lies and deceit and who are being eaten up with cancer from the inside.  Now that was his curse in his first timeline — Ron, you said 53 weeks ago that I was to die quickly from the inside.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland spoke in Bloomington, Illinois today.  He drug along his elders Ralph Dowd and Ken Zitt from Cincinnati to say the prayers and help fill up the meeting room.  I wonder if he also brought along Chris and Audra as he did last week to Erie and if they again went out for hot wings after services, or if Bloomington even has such a place.

Ron is excited about awesome new revelations coming down the pike, to be delivered in about 3-4 weeks leading up to the end of the first half of his shortened time on February 6 for which a church-wide fast has been proclaimed.  Given that Ron’s new revelations involve numbers and novel interpretations of the Bible, he probably has two screens connected to his computer, with Excel on one screen to work out the number of days between different dates, and E-Sword with Strong’s Greek and Hebrew dictionaries on the other screen to select possible meanings of words which best suit him.

Ron again took a tour through history, talking about “duck and cover” drills school children were given in the ’50′s to prepare for “nukular” attacks. Stanley Rader was used in 1979 by God to defend WCG against California Attorney General Deukmejian, but no mention of the tithe and offering money that ended up in Stan’s pocket.   Ralph Dowd was ordained in September of 1986 when Ron was assigned in Cincinnati as associate pastor, Terry Wrozek was ordained as an elder in April of 1998 and Johnny Harrell during the Feast of Tabernacles held that year at Niagara Falls.

Ron repeated the mention of the trip to Europe in November 1999 and being hosted by Benjamin and Grace in their London apartment.  Also repeated his claim that 19 were in attendance in contradiction to his statement in December of 1999 that 12 were there including 3 children.  Maybe the 10 virgins were hiding in the next room making it a total of 19 adults.  Benjamin committed the unpardonable sin not only of being on Facebook but also trying to recruit other PKG members to be his Facebook “friends”.

Weinland also continued his tour through some old News Watch periodicals he published intermittently from 1998 through 2002.  Issues mentioned were:

• December, 1999 in which he prophesied that Y2K would be a non-Event, which was pretty safe at that point given the massive effort to update all the software.
• January, 2000 in which he rolled out the new name of the church in the banner and a new PO Box to which it seems his elders had not agreed.
• February-March, 2000 in which a 2nd new PO Box was obtained because of the split.
• Third Quarter of 2001 which was the start of a 4-parter proving that we’re in the end times.
• First Quarter of 2002, Ron still didn’t understand that 9/11 was the opening of the 6th seal when he wrote this.
• Third Quarter of 2002, This was the last issue of News Watch. Shortly after this, Ron opened the Swiss bank accounts. The following year he published his 4-color booklet “Time Has Run Out” and then went on to write his books.

Ron took News Watch off his website back in 2003, but threatens to put them back on.  However, you can download PDFs of these issues now using the links above.

Near the end of the sermon, Ron indicated that he is going to exercise his newly recognized office of Apostle by adding new doctrine.  A doctrine which he announced up front is not in the Bible, either — Old Testament or New Testament. PKG members will be expected to march in formation turning to the left or right as directed by Drill Instructor Ronald Weinland.   Being an Apostle, he is entitled to invent new doctrine just like the Apostles in the New Testament.  But then the Insane Liar invented his position as an Apostle in the first place, just as he invented his position as a Prophet of the God of Abraham.  He will no longer be bound by novel interpretations of scripture, he can just make it all up.  He expects that a few will leave the church.  I hope a lot of PKG members will leave, but I expect that most of his followers will continue chugging down the Flavor Aid to wash it all down.  Wonder if this will be better than his “no Facebook” doctrine.

Ron needs to use more smoke and mirrors to distract his followers from the lack of Great Tribulation.  December 14 (Monday) is one year from the first non-start of the Great Tribulation in the second timeline.  It’s now 12 weeks since the second non-start on the Feast of Trumpets.  Since I’ve made it now 51 weeks without suffering the speedy death Weinland cursed me with, I expect I’ll be around a few more weeks to hear what amazing new bull Ron has to share.  (I would have used a different word than “bull”, but listening to the false prophet is rubbing off on me )

False Prophet Ronald Weinland spoke today from Columbia, MO.  This trip was not announced in advance on his website — supposedly it was in honor of the golden wedding anniversary of his elder there, Sam Qualls.  Guess it was a last minute thing that came up unexpectedly.  The Harrells were there as well as was his regular traveling crew from the Cincy area: Ralph Dowd, daughter Audra and her husband Chris.  Ron was fighting a headache kicked up by his allergies to goldenrod and ragweed.

Newly ordained evangelist Terry Wrozek is placed in authority over the area he had as senior elder and is also over senior elder Jim Jamieson.  Ron’s government structure is now in place to handle the millions of people who will soon be joining the Church of God – PKG as Ron’s prophesies finally start happening.  But Ron’s been saying that since the beginning of 2008.  And for years he’s been saying that the media would be seeking him out as disaster after disaster unfolded.

The Feast of Tabernacles is in 3 weeks, and a few days later members will assemble in hotels like the one pictured here for the last 3 days of the feast and then the Last Great Day.  This coming Saturday is the 40th sabbath of the Great Tribulation and the Feast of Trumpets.  I’ll take that as a judgment of Weinland as a prophet, just as the 40-week period from Christmas of 2007 to Trumpets of 2008 was a judgment on Satan.

The sermon was about fellowship, that members should avoid cliques and gravitating toward those who are similar and ignoring others.  Ron claims that he is more comfortable with the working men who are in jobs which are not well regarded.  I think Ron should go with that — maybe his brother Steve would give him a job at his trash hauling company.

People should be forgiving of others, even those not in his church.  Of course that doesn’t apply to the Two Witnesses, who are allowed to issue death curses against those who criticize him — just like the one he issued for my speedy death 38 weeks ago.

For a change, False Prophet Ronald Weinland stayed in Cincinnati this weekend. In honor of the occasion, his son Jeremy and daughter-in-law Patricia have traveled from Germany for a visit.  Ron and Laura have plenty of room for visitors in their mansion on the golf course.

In honor of Ron’s being a fan of Starbucks, Libby made him a couple of cakes in the shape of Starbucks coffee cups last week while in Dallas — both standard size and Texas size.  Hopefully Libby’s marriage to Bo which was quickly promoted by impending end-time events is turning out well.

Weinland’s long-time elder Terry Wrozek has been nearly caught-up, having lagged behind others promoted ahead of him.  Perhaps he got rid of some sin in his life, or maybe he completely cleaned out his 401k for Ron. Terry was promoted to Senior Elder a couple of months ago. And now finally Terry is the third of Weinland’s evangelists. However, Johnny Harrell has been promoted to Senior Evangelist above him, and Laura still outranks both of them as Prophetess. Still several layers of authority between Evangelist Terry and God — although it’s not clear whether Jesus and God have their own layers or are on the same one with Ron.

Ron mentioned increases stress levels and a stirred-up spirit world. He had a hard week and doesn’t know if there will indeed be a Feast of Tabernacles in a few weeks. He also mentioned that the apostles had been imprisoned. Perhaps this is an indication that the IRS may soon make him an imprisoned prophet.

Here is a clip of Rick Miller’s presentation at ideaCity. Perhaps Rick’s twisting the arm of Ron’s brother is what sent the formidable prophets fleeing.

And here’s a clip of Tom Harpur’s presentation at ideaCity immediately following that of the Spokesman Witness, which also didn’t make our end-time prophet and prophetess very happy. Can anyone identify the woman in the audience shown between 43 and 49 seconds in this clip?

It’s now 37 weeks since the Insane Lying Lunatic cursed me to die speedily from the inside. Only 3 more before the big 4-0.