False Prophet Ronald Weinland

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Dallas this weekend.  Our formidable prophet is getting lazy, continuing with the split sermons he started as he recovered from his appendectomy.  Johnny Harrell traveled all the way from Georgia to speak.  He spoke for about an hour, but the last part is missing from the sermon posted on the PKG website.  Did Johnny say something wrong?  Or were there technical problems as there were last weekend?  Actually, the problems the prior weekend were not technical.  The problems were between the Spokesman Witness’s ears, as he failed to plug in his laptop. Since God was asked in the opening prayer to look over the Internet connection, why didn’t he induce Ron to glance at his laptop and note that it wasn’t plugged in?  Ron, God isn’t with you.  Maybe you should put together a checklist so you can verify your setup.

Johnny gave a pep speech, urging PKG members to remain faithful and resist sin as there are only a few months left.  Members are being prepared for what’s going to happen in the very near future.  But then things were to start happening in 2008 and now it’s two years later.  Jesus Christ’s non-return on the eve of 2012 Pentecost is now less than 18 months away.  Ron repeated on this theme.

Ron continues to tighten the information flow.  This blog must be on his mind, he even made a mocking reference to a mocking reference.  Whatever.  Anyway, he told the Dallas area PKG members to remain seated after the closing prayer so he would be conducting ordinations.  But it seems that the Dallas area members lack qualifications, as he imported Ralph Dowd from Ohio to give the opening prayer.  Interesting.  Most long-time PKG members will probably be ordained by the time Christ doesn’t return in less than 77 weeks.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Denver this weekend, speaking before members from Colorado and adjacent states.  Augmenting the attendance was a visitor from the Netherlands who needed Mieke Van Lerberghe to transcribe the sermon to Dutch for him.  The Dutch visitor lost the end the of the sermon along with the rest of us, as the internet connection went down about 20 minutes before the normal ending time.  This happened despite Ralph Dowd traveling all the way from Cincinnati to ask in the opening prayer that God watch over the connection.

Since the sermon MP3 was not posted on the PKG website yesterday evening as is the usual case, and still isn’t posted as I write this post, perhaps Ron experienced a crash on the laptop he uses to broadcast and record the sermon.  Ron, since God obviously doesn’t care about your blatherings enough to prevent technical problems, let me suggest that you instead rely on backup equipment to record your nonsense for posterity.  In the meantime, PKG members looking for the latest pronouncements from their spiritual idol and those looking for something to put them to sleep can listen to the portion broadcast before the technical failure by downloading this 24 MB file (right-click the link and Save-As) provided as a service from this website.  I promise, I haven’t changed a word of Ron’s ranting.  I couldn’t make it any worse.

It seems that Ron reads my website, apparently referring during the sermon to a comment I left in my last posting:

As far as PKG having biblical students, forget about it. Weinland has told them they don’t know how to interpret the Bible, and need to listen to his sermons and read his website. The Bible is only to be used in conjunction with Ron’s interpretations.

In this clip from yesterday’s sermon, Ron accuses me of twisting and distorting.

I invite you to decide for yourself if I’m twisting and distorting.  We have Ron’s statement earlier in the in the same sermon:

And we have the following clip from his sermon of November 6:
Ron said that people who’ve left PKG are cursed. I don’t think that Kirrily would agree. And I doubt that senior elder Dave Conley’s stepdaughter who left PKG and is moving on with her life would agree.

Update Nov 29: The sermon has been posted on the PKG website.  Seems to be a bit shorter than the version I posted.  I wonder what the differences are.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Bloomington, Illinois this weekend.  He mentioned needing to add more chairs to their small conference room, but the group included Sam Qualls and Shawn Christal imported from Missouri.  Additionally, he imported Al Volle and Ralph Dowd from Cincinnati to give the prayers.  Al Volle had a Freudian slip during the prayers, almost saying “Mr. Armstrong” when talking about Weinland. Perhaps Al and Sam compared notes as they have been mentioned previously on this blog. Ralph is indeed a senior elder and is placed over newly promoted full elder Lynette Eckhardt and the rest of PKG in Illinois.

The dollar is about to go down the toilet.  There was much chuckling over the phrase “safety of treasuries”.  As Jack has pointed out, the US dollar is worth more than the Canadian dollar contradicting what Ron stated.  Personally, I’m not interested in financial advice from someone under criminal investigation by the IRS.

Ron’s sermon was about preparation for the Feast of Tabernacles, the first full feast to be observed by PKG since what was to be the last full feast in 2007.  He put out his standard spiel about how there might not be a feast this year. (MP3 clip)  I expect that we’ll hear Ron repeat this a few more times before they have their feast this fall.

In the Millennium, some in PKG will be part of the 144,000 giving feast sermons.  But the only ones guaranteed for sure to be in that cohort are Ron and Laura.  Attendance at the feast is a powerful spiritual tool that will draw people together.  But despite having traveled to the US in the past to attend the full 8 days and despite having been sealed on the Feast of Trumpets of 2008, Benjamin Ikwueme has lost out because he refused to kowtow to Ron’s Facebook doctrine.

PKG members are not to work during the feast this year, even if not able to attend a sponsored feast site due to finances.  Not even on the 5 days that are not high days or the sabbath in the middle. Ron may provide financial assistance.  But people who take advantage of 2nd tithe assistance will not be in the 144,000.

Ron mentioned a number of feast sites including

• Idaho
• Hawaii
• Los Angeles, California
• Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri
• Nashville, Tennessee
• Rhode Island
• Jacksonville, Florida
• Niagara Falls area
• Winnipeg, Manitoba
• Netherlands
• Scotland
• Rotorua, New Zealand
• Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia

This is in contrast to feasts prior to 2008 in which there was only a single site in the US and a few smaller overseas sites although many of the overseas members traveled to the US.

Ron took some time to rail against the crackpots and weirdos out there.  (MP3 clip)  Can anyone tell me who they are?  And what crazy things they did?

It seems that the second thunder (volcano in Iceland) has abated sufficiently to allow False Prophet Ronald Weinland to fly across the Atlantic to make his scheduled appearances in the Netherlands this weekend. Ron made no mention of the bonus un-numbered thunder (Gulf oil spill). Ron gave associate elder Edwin Van Horne and elder Gijs Van Lerberghe a chance to shine in the opening and closing prayers.  He also gave Ken Zitt in Cincinnati a reminder to turn off his cell phone.

Greg Chipps is still ungaoled and has set up a special website for PKG members to register for the feast site they’d like to attend. Between now and then, Ron will state a few more times that he doesn’t know whether they’ll have a feast this year before they have a feast this year. Evangelists Terry Wrozek and Johnny Harrell have their assignments: it’s Terry’s turn to go to Hawaii while Johnny goes to Europe.

Ralph Dowd is appointed as the 7th senior elder in PKG, the “traveling senior elder”. Ralph follows Ron about quite a bit and is in the Netherlands this weekend. Another individual who has been following Ron about quite a bit is Matt from Hawaii who is also in the Netherlands this weekend — maybe if Matt keeps it up he will be a senior elder too. Ralph actually has the longest tenure of Ron’s elders, having been ordained August 30, 1986 as a local church elder before the breakup of WCG. Ralph’s son Ed is the UCG minister in Wichita KS and as such is scheduled to die in the next two years before Christ’s return since he hasn’t repented and acknowledged Ron as the End-Time Witness and Elijah.

Ron took a good deal of the sermon to read from an email exchange he had with a Jew about the observance of Passover, seems that his correspondent has been published. Ron quoted himself from the email exchange describing his fantasy of what will happen in two years. (Brief audio clip, link for the flash-impaired browsers, otherwise just press the play button if you see one).

He had this to say about how to respond to those who criticize you: (Brief audio clip, link for the flash-impaired browsers).

For anyone who can’t see the irony in this statement, compare it to the audio clips from last week’s sermon.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland spoke in Phoenix yesterday.  He started out with a mention of the travails of traveling, returning on Thursday morning to Los Angeles at a time prior to that leaving Sydney.  Ron, maybe if you got on airplanes and circled the globe traveling east you could go back in time before you started prophesying and fix a few things.  Ron was upgraded at his Phoenix area hotel to the presidential suite after complaining about the hot room while trying to recoup from a long sleepless flight.

Laura had her nails done, perhaps not to detract from the diamond rings to be use to bribe their way through borders if traveling when the Great Tribulation finally, finally arrives.

Ralph Dowd was in attendance which is not unusual, and Ron mentioned another who follows him around from area to area.

He spent most of the sermon in Matthew 25.  The message being to be ready for the return of Jesus Christ, which is when?  Take care of the earth, and don’t litter.  He seemingly had trouble remembering his prophesied date of May 27, 2012, when 144,000 spirit beings are to be added to the God family (Elohim).  He mocked those who think they’ll go to heaven and gaze on God for all eternity.  But then I haven’t heard him describe what the eventual billions will do after the 100-year period and the Great White Throne judgment.

One riff he didn’t repeat was the mocking of his mockers he’s been putting out for the past few sermons.  Nevertheless, 68 weeks after the last time he issued his death curse against me to die speedily. I’m still at it.

The comments for this post have escalated onto a second page. Here are convenient links to the first page of comments and the new page of comments.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Lubbock today.  Last time he was there, long time members from the local area George Bobo and Wilburn Maeker gave the prayers.  Perhaps they weren’t available for some reason as Ronnie imported Steve Blair from the Dallas area and Ralph Dowd from Cincinnati to give the prayers.  Have George and Wilburn figured out that they were following a false prophet?  I rather expect that unfortunately there’s another explanation.

PDFs of Ron’s publication Newswatch are available for download from the church website’s publication page.  PDFs are also available from this website, follow the “Sermons” link at the top of the page and then look at the bottom of the page.  The difference is that the copies on this website are scans of the publication as originally published including the original banners, and therefore include the original text, while the copies on the PKG website are reformatted.  Since Ron has had sermons revised in the past, it wouldn’t surprise me to find that there are a few revisions to the articles as published on the PKG website in addition to the format changes.

Is there now an eleventh commandment? Thou Shalt Not Throw Paper Towels on the Floor.  And perhaps an upcoming twelfth commandment?  Thou Shalt Not Leave the Toilet Seat Up?

Ron is revising the baptism ceremony.  Given all the other revisions he’s made, it will be interesting to see what they are –  maybe dunking is no longer required and a sprinkle will do.

Ron talked about the race [sic] that’s divided between Sunni and Shia and the strife between the two factions.  He could instead have used Armstrongism which is now divided into hundreds of factions.  The leader of one of the Armstrongite factions has even written a book calling for the deaths of other faction leaders.  Which Armstrongite leader, you ask?  There are pictures of him and the Mrs somewhere on this website.

The same Armstrongite faction leader called for my death 63 weeks ago.  But that was the second time — the first time he called for my death was 98 weeks ago.  These occasions were the first sabbaths of his prophetic timelines, so I expect he’ll be calling for my death yet again on the first sabbath of his third timeline.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Richmond VA today.  His regional elder Dave Conley gave the opening prayer and Ron again imported Ralph Dowd from Cincinnati to give the closing.

Ron has put up a few of his older sermons relating to his first multi-colored booklet Time is Running Out.  He also repeated his promise to put up his old Newswatch issues from 1998 through 2002.  But you don’t have to wait any longer, as I have the complete collection of Newswatch in text-searchable PDFs (follow this link and scroll to the bottom of the page).

Ron has posted plans to travel to Australia and New Zealand for Passover and the Days of Unleavened Bread.  It’s curious that he mentioned these holy days but did not mention the trips.  He also has posted plans to go to Europe as usual for Pentecost this year.  I wonder if the IRS is closing in on Ron and whether one of these trips will be a little bit longer than usual

Ron spent a good part of the sermon dangling carrots.  All the new people who would be coming into the church and the hundreds and thousands each could help into the new age.  His sermon was personally useful as it put me to sleep for a much-needed nap.

But not the permanent nap with which he cursed me 61 weeks ago.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Los Angeles.  Even though he was speaking in the second largest metropolitan area in Manasseh and had people attending from San Jose, Utah, El Paso, and Arizona, as well as elder Ralph Dowd, evangelist Terry Wrozek, senior elder Ann Wrozek, and someone from the UK, the spokesman witness was able to speak to everyone present without sound amplification by having them move the chairs closer together.

Ron is looking forward to the elders training session at the end of February.  He cautioned his members that they should not travel to Cincinnati that weekend expecting to socialize with the new elders.  Nor should they stay in the same hotel with all the new elders, as they need to concentrate on learning their new duties.  I can state your duties very succinctly: refer every question to the FAQs on the church website and if that doesn’t work, pass the issue on to Ron.  Although Ron did pass the funeral for a member who died this week to senior elder Steve Dalrymple — I guess Ron’s too busy writing blog posts during the week to travel a couple of hundred miles.

Surprisingly, Ron did not mention the tragedy unfolding in Haiti due to the severe earthquake experienced there.  But maybe not so surprising, since he’s switched from prophecy to the wonders of new doctrine.  Looks like we’ll have to wait until Feb 6 for the next dose of new “truth” from God’s end-time Elijah-to-come.

Ron continued on the topic of relationships between the sexes, and their “rolls”.  (“Roles” to the rest of us.)  According to Ron, it’s against nature for a male to have long hair and for a female to have short hair.  So here’s a little quiz.  Of the two pictures of the long-haired and short-haired animals shown on this post, which is the male and which is the female?  Check your answer here.

Now only 123 more weeks for Ron to tap dance for his members before the non-return of Jesus Christ.

A couple of notes:

• For those in Australia, the Compass program featuring Ronald Weinland is to be repeated tonight.
• xHWA has written quite an analysis of Weinland’s latest delusions.