False Prophet Ronald Weinland

False Prophet Ronald Weinland spoke from Columbia MO today.  His elder Shawn Christal apparently has figured out how to pray properly for proper functioning of the Internets as there were none of the glitches experienced on past visits.  And we got to hear Speedy Sam stumble through the closing prayer.

Ron has done some plotting and planning to stretch things out.  Ron is still singing the same song about the 2nd trumpet that he was singing on Mike McConnell’s show just over a year ago — we might not have “nukular” explosions for another year, or even longer.  A number of 45-90 day periods since the first trumpet blew for the second time on Dec 14, 2008, and more to go.

The baptism ceremony has been modified so that it can be done mass production style.  Under the old ceremony, the inductee is pushed under the water by the officiating elder (Ron stays on the side of the pool) and then after coming back up the elder lays hand on the inductee and prays.

In order to allow 100 elders or so to baptize hundreds of thousands of people, or even millions, the baptism ceremony is modified.  One elder will be able to baptize dozens of people at once, as the inductees will immerse themselves as the elder calls out synchronized dunking.  After which, instead of providing individual attention by actually laying hands on the inductee during the prayer,  the elder will pray over the group and then have them walk by so he/she can tap them on the head.  Reminds me of my first day of military service.

Ron has reviewed the validity of baptisms performed in other groups outside of PKG.  According to his new rules, any baptism will be invalid which was performed by any other group after Pentecost of 1998 when the church was reorganized with Elijah-to-come Ron leading it.  The only groups performing valid baptisms before that date would be the United Church of God and the Global Church of God, and WCG prior to the abomination of desolation on Dec 17, 1994.  For those unfamiliar with these organizations, UCG was formed by ministers who left WCG after Tkach’s apostasy of 1994 and Weinland was in UCG until May of 1997.  Global CoG was formed by Rod Meredith prior to Tkach’s apostasy — Global is now defunct as it went down the tubes after Rod Meredith abandoned it and its debts in a power struggle taking most of the members with him into the Living CoG.  In a moment of irony, Weinland stated that Flurry’s Philadelphia CoG was invalid because it is headed by a false prophet.  Gee Ron, how do we know that what Flurry has prophesied is false?  Maybe it’s true, but just hasn’t happened yet, huh?

According to Ron, the book of Acts is not complete as it will need to be expanded to record events within PKG.  He said that the ranks of the elders would swell to 700 eventually as some of those baptized within WCG prior to the opening of the first seal on Dec 17, 1994 join Ron’s church.  People of that pedigree would be eligible to become elders.

It looks like Ron has mined out those with a doomer mindset that can be sucked in with an expensive Google Ads campaign, and is now looking to “the scattering” for fresh meat.  Ron, don’t count your chickens before they hatch.  I pointed out to my mother, who having been baptized in WCG well before 1994 is quite eligible, that she could be ordained an elder.  Her reaction was somewhat south of enthusiastic. Ron, not everyone is impressed by the signs and lying wonders of the Son of Perdition.

All this baptizing will be going on while the US conquered by the beast power, and Ron will be in Europe interceding with the beast to allow his followers to keep the sabbath. Next he’ll be calling himself Moses. “Let my people go!!” (Ron, let your people go.) I wonder if Ron’s exit will be advanced should the IRS put a case together soon.  Ron’s Witness powers are not to be used for trivial things like proving that he actually is a prophet of God.  But they can be used for issuing curses against mockers like myself for a speedy death.  Which I must have experienced shortly after he issued his sentence on me 64 weeks ago, because after all Ron is a true prophet of the God of Abraham.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Minneapolis today, where things were moving slowly.  It was cold, and Ron was several minutes late getting the Internet streaming audio feed rolling.  Fewer traveled long distances than normal: a few from North Dakota and his elder Leonard McGlynn from Winnipeg, but no one from Wisconsin attended.

A few announcements.  Two-year-old Kenny’s open-heart surgery went well.  While in Dallas last weekend, he ordained Dave, Glen, Charles Blummer, Vera, and Peggy as associate elders.  It seems that Ron doesn’t truly appreciate my publishing the elders’ names as he claimed three weeks ago, since again he didn’t give any last names.

He spent several minutes reading an email clarifying his policy on attendance at his service.  One must be approved in order to regularly gather with other members to attend services.  (And to get approval, one must be paying tithes.)  However, close family members and even close friends may attend as a guest for a few times if not hostile to God’s prophet and one true church.

This was the last sermon of his Ordinations and Baptisms series.  Ron continued to dangle the carrot of the millions of people who will join PKG.  He related an anecdote of people being baptized would need to be reminded to “come back up”, as he remains high and dry on the side of the pool.  I would ask that all PKG members come back up out of the quagmire that is PKG.

This weekend is 121 weeks from the non-return of Jesus Christ on Pentecost of 2012.  It’s also 52 weeks since the unusual 2-day fast last year to pray for destruction and death from an increase in the thunders.  Next weekend is a 1-day fast and it is expected that the sermon will be less boring as the Son of Perdition reveals new signs and/or lying wonders while in Cincinnati.

Son of Perdition Ronald Weinland was in Dallas this weekend.  After services, the members were to standby for a special announcement.  The last time he did this was for Audra’s wedding reception.

Some PKG members are undergoing medical trials.  Hopefully Travis will come through the chemo treatment for his leukemia and 2-year-old Kenny’s heart surgery will also go well. Fortunately Weinland is not continuing the doctrine of his spiritual idol Herbert Armstrong against the use of medical care.   OTOH, Jim Sullivan, who was ordained as associate elder 3 weeks ago and spent his golden wedding anniversary traveling to see his spiritual idol Ron Weinland in Spokane two weeks ago, passed on.  Hopefully Jim’s widow Beverly will be able to deal with the disappointment on the afternoon of May 26, 2012 when they are not reunited since he is not resurrected as one of the sealed 144,000 and she is not converted to spirit being at that time.

This was mostly a boring sermon — no new titles or doctrines. Ron made a few half-hearted jabs against his critics, but mainly coasted on his theme of the upcoming millions who are to be baptized by his new elders.  Next week end is the approximate anniversary of the 2-day fast at the end of last January, and the following weekend (Feb 6) is a one-day fast.

So it’s timely to review the sermon that the Man of Sin Ronald Weinland delivered on Jan 31 of last year (19 MB audio MP3 download, right-click the link and Save-as).  Ron talked about how the members were to pray for an increase in the thunders beginning around 1 hour and 14 minutes in this file.  (If you download the sermon from the PKG website, these statements will be located a few minutes earlier in the recording since the announcements are redacted — that is unless he also redacted these statements which wouldn’t surprise me as he’s done this on other occasions). A few of his statements 51 weeks ago:

Can we grasp what it’s going to take to bring them to repentance?  … So what does it  take?  Suffering.  To think that you would pray for the suffering of some, for the death of some.  So that others could live.  …  So again, what is the purpose of our prayers, petitions and fasting before God? … That more be brought to repentance and acceptance of the truth by the timing, repetition, and power from unleashing far mightier thunders.  And as well the trumpets…  So think about those thunders and pray about them.   …. The majority is about our desire for the thunders … and pray about them that they be released with far greater power.

Talking about the first thunder (war), bemoaning the success of “the surge” in Iraq:

Pray about this, that there be more conflict. Pray that God stir things up with the first thunder, a terror of war.  Because only when people fear    they can come to repentance they won’t fear otherwise .  They’ve been so spaced out, it’s easy to slough them off with human reasoning  “Oh well it’s just time and chance   You want to pray that things be such that people stop saying that.  That people be brought to such realization, that they realize that no, this isn’t normal, and these things haven’t happened like this before.  Not this way.

In “2008 — God’s Final Witness”, Weinland likened the thunders to birth pains.  Birth pains increase in magnitude and frequency prior to birth. On page 82 of his fictional book:

The physical phase of transition that is occurring during this present Sixth Seal is the period when prophetic end-time events escalate, on a physical plane, with increasing destructive power that is best depicted as a pregnant woman in labor pains.

So after the Sixth Seal ended, he’s admitting that the actual thunders experienced are not like labor pains.  Then Ron continued on about the second thunder (earthquakes):

Are you comfortable about praying for massive earthquakes? You need to think about this because your asking for the death of others.  Because that’s what happens with a massive earthquake.  That’s what happens with a massive tsunami.  Or when a volcano goes off.  People die.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland continued on about the thunders in his sermon 51 weeks ago.  And in his sermon 57 weeks ago, he issued a death curse against me to speedily die from the inside.  Both statements of equivalent veracity.  Since the thunders did not intensify, he’s twisted and distorted what he said about the purpose of last year’s fast to credit it for the delay in the Great Tribulation.  So, maybe the fast is why Ron’s curse on me hasn’t taken effect.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Los Angeles.  Even though he was speaking in the second largest metropolitan area in Manasseh and had people attending from San Jose, Utah, El Paso, and Arizona, as well as elder Ralph Dowd, evangelist Terry Wrozek, senior elder Ann Wrozek, and someone from the UK, the spokesman witness was able to speak to everyone present without sound amplification by having them move the chairs closer together.

Ron is looking forward to the elders training session at the end of February.  He cautioned his members that they should not travel to Cincinnati that weekend expecting to socialize with the new elders.  Nor should they stay in the same hotel with all the new elders, as they need to concentrate on learning their new duties.  I can state your duties very succinctly: refer every question to the FAQs on the church website and if that doesn’t work, pass the issue on to Ron.  Although Ron did pass the funeral for a member who died this week to senior elder Steve Dalrymple — I guess Ron’s too busy writing blog posts during the week to travel a couple of hundred miles.

Surprisingly, Ron did not mention the tragedy unfolding in Haiti due to the severe earthquake experienced there.  But maybe not so surprising, since he’s switched from prophecy to the wonders of new doctrine.  Looks like we’ll have to wait until Feb 6 for the next dose of new “truth” from God’s end-time Elijah-to-come.

Ron continued on the topic of relationships between the sexes, and their “rolls”.  (“Roles” to the rest of us.)  According to Ron, it’s against nature for a male to have long hair and for a female to have short hair.  So here’s a little quiz.  Of the two pictures of the long-haired and short-haired animals shown on this post, which is the male and which is the female?  Check your answer here.

Now only 123 more weeks for Ron to tap dance for his members before the non-return of Jesus Christ.

A couple of notes:

• For those in Australia, the Compass program featuring Ronald Weinland is to be repeated tonight.
• xHWA has written quite an analysis of Weinland’s latest delusions.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland has a new post up on his WordPress blog.  Here it is for your convenience, and to provide for an opportunity to comment on it since he understandably turns commenting off.  I’ve added a [few quick comments of my own].

————–Ron Weinland’s Post  —————————————————————

The last posting on this site addressed God’s current revelation to the Church about His “Elijah to come” at this end-time. As was stated, that commission has been given to me to fulfill in its completeness and not as a “type,” which was partially fulfilled in John the Baptist and in Herbert W. Armstrong. God is now going to bring both rolls [sic] of these previous “types” into a complete and final fulfillment that ushers in the second coming of His Son as the Messiah (the Christ-the ordained ruler) over all mankind.

This posting cannot cover all of the exciting revelation that God is giving concerning what His purpose is and what is meant by the expression of “restoring all things” in the commission of the end-time Elijah. It is about a “work” that God is doing in and through His human instruments, primarily through His Church.

In order to receive a far greater understanding of the inspiration, plain truth, and excitement of what God is now revealing, I am encouraging every one of you (if you have not already done so) to listen to some of this new truth as it is covered far more thoroughly in the sermon on Dec. 26, 2009, entitled, “Restoring All Things,” and in the current sermon series entitled, “Ordinations & Baptisms.”

Finding Fault:
The numerous groups that have formed from the scattering that took place during the apostasy of the Worldwide Church of God in December, 1994, are busy responding to what God is currently revealing to the Church through me as His end-time Elijah. They are quick to find fault in order to belittle and ridicule what God is now revealing. [Can anyone find a response from other than mine and a few other blogs? (None of which are part of  "the scattering".]

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