False Prophet Ronald Weinland

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Florida this weekend.  Johnny and the Georgia bunch came down, but Ron still gave a couple of the local elders a chance for some mike time giving the prayers instead of having his senior evangelist do one.  Ron is continuing to beef up his elder staff to handle the hordes of people who will join PKG after the second trumpet, whenever it gets around to blowing.  I expect that Ron will soon have another wave of ordinations.  He promoted David Conley of McDowell, VA to senior elder (Hi Dave), and did the same with Scott Cameron of Colby, KS whom he had recently promoted to elder.  He also announced the ordination of Scott’s wife Kris as associate elder without further comment.  Kristina is Ron’s sister and is much younger than Ron, being just a few years older than Audra who is a senior elder.

The meaning of the word “Jerusalem”  was a topic of Ron’s sermon and also on this blog last weekend.  Last week I pointed out a web site that had some additional information as to the meaning, Mal took exception to this telling me that Ron was perfectly correct.  In his sermon this weekend, Ron stated that he had the “Jeru” part wrong, but when on about it not mattering.  I agree.  The meaning of “Jerusalem” doesn’t matter in the context of Ron’s continued prophetic failures.

Ron spent part of the sermon reading his latest blog post.  Ron admitted to another mistake, which has since been corrected in the posting on his blog.  In Ronnie’s second timeline, September 28, 2008 was not the opening of the seventh seal but was the sealing of the 144,000.  All this symbology is confusing even for the false prophet who made it up, as demonstrated on his own blog.  An explanation is that Ron may be under increased pressure from the IRS special agent conducting the criminal investigation.  Ron spoke of stirred up beings on the warpath.  In the past, spiritual warfare has been associated with IRS activities.  Ron was under so much stress that he slept over 12 hours Thursday night.  Perhaps he didn’t sleep well Wednesday night from stressful events that day and was catching up on Thursday night.

Ron explained the significance of the number 36 which is the count of the “truths” he has invented.  Ron has doubled the accomplishments of his spiritual idol, Herbert Armstrong, who only invented 18 “truths”.  How incredible!!

Ron took time to issue a fatwa against the use of two-piece bathing suits.  Somewhere in the sermon was a relatively brief pacifist rant.  Ron mentioned a cartoon in which someone asked God to smite his worst enemy.  The next frame showed the petitioner charred with smoke curling up. Ron should take a lesson from this, and be careful about calling down fire on those who harm him.  My Bible verse of the sermon is Romans 3:13.

Since Ron announced last Saturday that there would be yet 4 more new “truths”, he finally decided to catch the church web site.  Even though he announced “truths” 51, 52, and 53 seven months ago, the PKG website has continued to announce only 50 “truths”.  But he has rectified that since this weekend, editing the Publications page on the PKG website.  Here for your convenience are his last truths:

God continues to reveal truths to His end-time Church so that a restoration of all things can take place with the return of Jesus Christ.

51 (1)

God has revealed the identity of the Elijah to come. As part of this revelation God has made it clearer that John the Baptist was a ‘type’ of the Elijah to come and that Herbert W. Armstrong was also a ‘type’ of the Elijah to come. The final completeness of this role is fulfilled by the spokesman of the two end-time witnesses.

52 (2)

God is restoring knowledge concerning the rightful place of women in the family. This involves the start of the greater removal of the curse laid upon woman from the beginning which was the result of sin.

53 (3)

The ordination of women in the Church. With the revelation of the 52nd Truth, God is continuing to reveal the rightful role of women with the 53rd truth by showing that God has and will continue to work with and through women to help prepare the path for the return of Jesus Christ and to fulfill a breaking of bonds for all humanity.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland made a rare visit to Cincinnati for yesterday’s sermon.  Our most formidable prophet was unprepared  and 15 minutes late getting started, blaming it on leaving equipment at home.  Ron made up for the late start by ending his sermon 15 minutes early.  I wonder if his elder John & wife Mary Kay were tempted to blow off the sermon and go to Marc and Chelsea’s wedding, which was only about 3 miles from their home.

Ron is preparing for the Feast of Tabernacles coming up in 8 weeks now.  Ron has finished the 5th sermon of 7 that he has planned, and each of his evangelists is tasked with giving one sermon. He’s also thinking of printing up a booklet to be handed out within PKG near the end of the feast.  Ten sermons makes one for each of the eight days with an extra sermon on the first and last days.  Ron promises not one, not two, not three, but at least four new truths to be unveiled during the feast.  Provided he can restrain himself from revealing them earlier.    Of course he’s not feeling the same kind of pressure to reveal them sooner as was the case with the 50th truth, when he just had shut down a timeline and told his members that they were no longer sealed in the 144,000.

Four new truths added to the 53 he has now will put the count at 57.  Since the effect of the trumpets continues to delay (now 85 weeks and almost halfway through the Great Tribulation, and most of a year into his shortened not-so-Great Tribulation), Ron needs to roll out more new truths to keep the sheep happy.  I expect that Ron has found at least one of his new truths with the aid of Strong’s Concordance.  Yesterday, he came out with the word Jerusalem meaning “peace”, as in “shalom”.  In reality, “Jerusalem” is a Canaanite word meaning “Foundation Of Shalem”.  Shalem is a known Ugaritic god.  Since “Jerusalem” sounds sort-of Hebraic, the Hebrews did not rename it.

Ron repeated a pacifist rant criticizing the war in Afghanistan.  If the IRS scoops him up, perhaps he’ll claim they’re trying to shut him up for his criticism.  That may come soon, as the IRS has been investigating him for at least 25 months now.  I’m still expecting that the investigation will resolve one way or the other by the end of the year, as the average length of an investigation is 14 months.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland battled the Internet yesterday while in Minneapolis, with the streaming audio feed disconnecting numerous times.  Evangelist Terry Wrozek and Senior Elder Ann Wrozek were also in attendance.  This afternoon he travels to Wisconsin to meet with the deluded faithful in that state. Laura is looking forward to baptizing a new acolyte while there.  Wonder if that could be one of the fence sitters on this blog.

Last week ended his “More Time” sermon series, and this weekend he resumed the interrupted sermon series on a subject near and dear to his heart: tithing.  When I was required to warm the hard metal folding chairs as a child growing up in a household led by a parent drinking Herbert Armstrong’s Flavor Aid, there were three tithes that had to be paid.  The first tithe was 10% of gross pay (before taxes) to be sent to Herbie to spend as he saw fit.  During the 1979 receivership crisis, checks were made payable to Herbert Armstrong a corporation sole rather than his church.  A second 10% of gross pay was to be saved to attend the church’s holy days, but 10% of that (a “Tithe of the Tithe or 1% of gross income) was to be sent to the church to finance the feast sites, as not much of the first tithe was left over after Herbie put aviation fuel in his Gulfstream jet and paid for silver ice buckets.  The feast of tabernacles was the WCG equivalent of Christmas for kids — for other kids, anyway.  My parent scrimped so that he could turn over yet more excess second tithe to Herbie.  On top of that, on two years out of seven a third tithe was to be paid.  The third tithe supposedly was to be used to support widows and other needy people, but rumor has it that it was used for other purposes, like sending the ministry to the feast as they were not required to save second tithe.

Ron read from his FAQ section, and a number of changes have been made, reducing the requirements:

• First tithe has been changed so that it’s computed on the net after taxes.  Additionally Ron has stated that tithing is not required on commuting expenses.  (Which Ron doesn’t have since he works at home).
• No tithe of the tithe is taken from second tithe.
• Third tithe is not required, as this is covered by social programs from the taxes you pay.

Additionally, students and retirees are not required to pay taxes on their income.

Ron is having trouble restraining himself from revealing the “new truths” he has lined up to reveal during the Feast of Tabernacles this year.  But he is restraining himself from sending second tithe assistance to those who have not saved second tithe as they are instructed on the FAQ pages on the website.  Ignorance is no excuse, and they are to repent for disobeying God’s laws.  Nevermind that any teaching of doctrines during sermons is largely incidental so that Ron can blather about his prophecies and other topics. Of which “other topics” have mostly used up his sermons since he spends less time talking about prophecies.  Even when he mentioned this fall’s feast during yesterday’s sermon, he did not throw out the usual disclaimer that feast attendance might not be possible, even though we’ll be after the midpoint of the Great Tribulation by then.

On another topic, this website has experienced problems over the past few weeks.  I’ve received an email from my hosting company acknowledging the problem and stating it was a hardware problem being resolved.  In compensation they’ve awarded a free month of web hosting.  My web hosting is paid up through May 30, 2012.  What’s the value of an additional month of web hosting given that the earth will be in ruins by May 27, 2012?