False Prophet Ronald Weinland

Here we are just 17 days before Ron Weinland’s elder brother Jesus returns to kick rear ends and take names with 7 vials of plagues to be poured out on those who survive World War 3.  Let’s take stock of where we are right now with respect to Ron’s prophecies.

• Thunders 1 through 4: It’s been pretty much the normal pace for disasters, the only one which has even slightly come true is the economy, though we haven’t experienced a global economic collapse.  FAIL!!
• Thunder #5:  We haven’t had a massive die-off within the competing CoGs.  None of the 5 ministers scheduled to die early on to prove Ron as a true prophet of God have obliged by taking a dirt nap, even though he called on that to happen early in 2007.  And one of them, Dave Pack, runs Google ads on searches for Ron’s name attempting to harvest Ron’s disaffected followers.  Other than Michael Jackson and a few minor celebrities back in 2009, we haven’t had an increase in the deaths of notables.  Nor have we experienced the epidemics that Ron prophesied.  FAIL, FAIL, and FAIL.
• Thunder #6:  There is no growing recognition of Ron as prophet.  Despite advertising his availability for interviews in December, he only had one on a small market radio station.  Ron now says the interviews won’t happen until after Christ returns.  FAIL
• Thunder #7: With Ron’s abysmal failures on the first 6 trumpets, recognition of his god isn’t gaining much traction.  FAIL
• Trumpet #5:  Ron prophesied the downfall of the US by the fall of 2008 and certainly by the summer of 2009.  Then he delayed it until August of last year.  In the spring of 2011 he prophesied 40 weeks of judgment on the US.   When the beast power didn’t arise by January, he had to rewrite the Bible to allow the 5 months of torment to precede the 5th trumpet which he has delayed until the last hour before Christ returns.  How many FAILS is that?
• Tithe of the third:  Ron went on an ordaining spree starting at the end of 2009 to hang onto his members, promising them opportunities to baptize millions of people whom he prophesied to join PKG by the end.  They haven’t shown up nor have the 3000 ex-WCG members he prophesied.  Now he says this won’t happen until after Christ returns.  FAIL
• Ron issued a death curse on his mockers to suffer a slow death from the inside.  Then he reissued the death curse calling on his mockers to suffer a speedy death from the inside.  When that didn’t happen, he attempted to spiritualize it saying we suffered internal torment.  Ummm FAIL and………… FAIL!!!!!

Now somewhere, Ron must have prophesied something that would come true.  And I believe he did!!!  He prophesied that there would be mockers.  PASS!!!  The only prophecies that come true are the ones the mockers make come true.

Just a brief post to mark exactly 50 days = 1200 hours =72000 minutes to the very minute which False Prophet Ronald Weinland has scheduled Jesus Christ to return. Lots and lots to happen yet before that prophetic moment. The actual effects of the first trumpet to manifest, trumpets 2 through 6 yet to sound, 3000 ex-WCG members as of the apostasy to join PKG along with millions of others, 200 million Asians to mobilize. Ron has overseas trips down under and to Europe, followed by a pre-trial conference relating to the criminal charges against him and a trip to Jerusalem to lie dead in the streets (but first the Beast Power has to arise and take notice of him).

It’s going to be a busy 7 weeks and 1 day. All you PKG members hold steady now, don’t be tried by any further delay of these events. You’ve waited this long, only a short time to go. Maybe it will all happen in the very last minute, from 12:35 to 12:36 PM on Saturday, May 26 in Cincinnati.

During his sermon this past weekend at which he drank water to rehydrate after a big breakfast while the rest of PKG was fasting, False Prophet Ronald Weinland said:

So again I think about-ah-some of those things. Just toss it out there a little bit, just a little bit. Because I think it’s coming in time, that there are things about the two witnesses that aren’t going to happen the way we thought they were going to happen.

So what could be these things about the two witnesses that aren’t going to happen?  Let’s look in “2008 — God’s Final Witness”:

[pg 89] God is revealing that some will hate these two witnesses so much that they will try to do them bodily harm, even trying to kill them.

I’m not aware of anyone who’s tried to harm or kill either Ron or Laura, or even giving them the bitch-slapping they deserve.

[pg 89 again] Whatever the two witnesses pronounce will come to pass.

During December of 2008, Ron reissued death curses against his mockers, and yet over 3 years later there is no evidence of any of us dying.  Any available evidence indicates the opposite, which the very existence this blog is.

[pg 89 yet again] They will be given power beyond that which Moses was given when he led the Israelites out of Egypt. They, too, will be able to turn the waters to blood. They will be able to close up the heavens so that it will not rain on any area they choose. They will have power to call all manner of plagues upon any part of the earth as often as they choose.

No waters turned to blood.  No droughts resulting from their pronouncements.  No plagues of any sort called down by them. Only a bunch of nonsense on Ron’s blog that he doesn’t mention. Now, where is that super-Moses power?

[pg 91] The Seven Thunders have much to do with how God will reveal His two witnesses. These thunders serve as a prelude to the final tribulation and the greater manifestation of the two witnesses.

Ummm, thunders?  What thunders?  Besides the thunders only PKG members have eyes to see and ears to hear.

[pg 101-102] ….God has left for me to determine as one of His end-time witnesses, who will be given far greater power to pronounce plagues “as often as they will” (Revelation 11:6) in order to help humble mankind so they will repent and turn to God.

Ron, time is getting short — 7  weeks until you die.  You need to get on the stick and pronounce a few plagues to humble us.

[pg 109, speaking of the 6th thunder] The growing manifestation of proof that I am God’s end-time prophet and that I am the spokesman of His two end-time witnesses is a thunder that will become powerfully stronger all the way up until the very return of Jesus Christ.

Really?  Powerfully strong, huh? In which case there must have been hundreds and thousands of people in the listening area of that small AM station in Maryland on which you interviewed a few weeks ago — right?

[pg 109] Radio and television interviews will become more the norm as curiosity, news, controversy, and fear increase in proportion to the growing intensity of these thunders.

And you didn’t need to advertise yourself for that interview, did you?  Ron?  Did you?

[pg 131]God’s two witnesses will be viewed by others (who will hate their message about God) as being responsible for their suffering. The two witnesses will be bringing plagues upon the nations of these two superpowers in order to humble them, but they will not be humbled.

Name one specific plague or natural disaster which you have predicted.  So what are you waiting for?

But here we have the last thing about the two witnesses that won’t happen the way “we” thought it would:

[pg 22] These two prophets of God will complete the work that God has given them to do, then they will be killed in the streets of Jerusalem. Their bodies will remain in the streets of Jerusalem for three and one-half days while the world watches via television.

When Ron spiritualizes the upcoming deaths of himself and his tame second witness, are you going to buy it?

The God Discussion pod cast show is now available online as an archived MP3 file.  Right-click and then save-as this link to the archive file (about 42 MB). My part starts about 1 hour and 10 minutes into the file.  Ronnie’s first death curse on me and you other mockers was replayed as an introduction.  After a bit of theme music I come on at 1 hour and 12 minutes into the file.

This was a new and interesting experience.  Thanks to all my readers who tuned in.  I didn’t realize it until someone pointed it out and I listened to myself that I do sound a bit like a famous someone.  If I can learn to repeat words three times in a row I’ll have him nailed

In this morning’s posting, I commented on how False Prophet Ronald Weinland had not conducted an interview since advertising his availability for one at the beginning of December.  Turns out that he has just done so along with a post on his blog republished below for your comment.

I listened to Ron on the way home from work, about a 40 minute program.  He dodged the question as to why we should listen to him given all the false prophets who have preceded.  If the interviewer had been familiar with Ron he could have asked about all of Ron‘s false prophecies that have preceded.

I’m still scheduled to be on the God Discussion pod cast show.  Here is an updated link to tonight’s program with some additional info:

There is a web-based chat room that appears automatically, also, and it tends to be a hoot.

When it is live, the page notes that it is ON AIR and it will play from your computer speakers (you might have to press a button — BlogTalk keeps updating but generally, the show automatically plays).  About 10-60 minutes after the podcast concludes, it is available for download as an MP3 from BlogTalk and shortly thereafter, is available on iTunes.”

I’m scheduled to be on in the second hour (7 PM Pacific / 10 PM Eastern)

————Here’s a repost of Ron’s posting: ———————————————

As far as I know, False Prophet Ronald Weinland has not had any media interview resulting from the advertisement he put out last month.  But yours truly, the Mike-who-advocates-not-drinking-the-Flavor-Aid, will be on Blog Talk Radio on the God Discussion show tonight (Thursday, Jan 12).  The show starts at 6 PM Pacific / 9 PM Eastern and I am scheduled to be on for about 15 minutes during the second hour of the show.

At the appointed time, click this link for the show page.  I’m not sure exactly what link to click once you reach that page, once the show goes on the air we’ll have an hour to figure it out.  I may update this post when we figure it out.  And if you miss it somehow, the archive of the show should be available later in the evening.

I imagine the show audience will include a number of PKGers curious to hear the voice of a dead man.  Given that Ron placed a death curse over 3 years ago against anyone who would criticize him, and I have been his most consistent public critic since then, I must be dead.

The December 20 issue of “The Journal” is out.  This publication has editorial comment directed mainly to those former members of the Worldwide Church of God who attend various splinters.  False Prophet Ronald Weinland refers to it as “The Urinal” and has not joined the various kooks in presenting even odder variations of Armstrongism in paid editorial content in the publication’s “Connections” section.

This latest issue has an article on the indictment of Ronald Weinland.  Usually only the first and last pages are provided online, but for this issue the entirety is provided in PDF format on “The Journal” website.  The article about Ronnie (which begins on the front page) cites various “news outlets” as mentioning that he is “is accused of attempting to evade income taxes in the amount of $357,065 over several years beginning in 2005. Mr. Weinland is a minister of the Church of God Preparing for the Kingdom of God (CGPKG).”  Right after the awkward initialism for Weinland’s church, which while it isn’t what Ronnie uses is at least closer than Thielogical Bob’s “CGPFK”, “The Journal” refers to “Pastor General Weinland”.  While he operates with the same government structure (autocratic rule with a weak Council of Elders that can be removed by disfellowshipping them) and has the same mind-bending powers within his little CoGlet as did the original Pastor General Herbert Armstrong, Weinland has never adopted the title “Pastor General”.

“The Journal” has demonstrated poor journalistic skills.  Not only did they get the initialism and the title wrong, they left out information that was readily available through public sources. Such as the Swiss bank accounts and that he is accused of taking church funds.  The US Attorney for the Eastern District of Kentucky put out a press release with more details.  And Weinland responded several weeks ago to the charges in a public manner on his own blog.  Simple Google searches would have turned that information up.  While “The Journal” didn’t publish that information, they did take editorial space to give out the PKG contact information.

Weinland prophesies that his church will grow to include a tithe of a third of “the scattering” (or around 3000 people baptized in WCG as of Tkach’s apostasy of December 1994).  Perhaps he thinks “The Journal’s” putting his contact information will help.  And that the First Phase of the Fifth Thunder is beginning to sound.  Thielogical Bob has a copy of Rod Meredith’s latest letter on his website.  (Bob, note that I provided a link to your content even though you never do when you take content from my website, you arrogant p___k.)  In this letter Rod states:

Brethren, more than in any time I can remember, literally dozens of our members and ministers are in “dire straits” physically. Up and down the East Coast, especially at here at Headquarters, at least seven individuals that I happen to know about are in life threatening situations—mostly from cancer. Just this morning, interestingly, I received an email from one of our leading members, Syd Attenborough, telling about the death of two CGI elders. One of the men I had known, Dennis Lawrence. The other I had not known but am very sorry for his death and the death of all of God’s people who perhaps have to die prematurely. So these two elders have died just within the last several days. A number more of our own people may die within the next several months unless we—as a Church—cry out to God to please intervene more powerfully to heal His own people!

Rotten Ronnie may point to this as the beginnings of the Fifth Thunder, which is the deaths of CoGlet ministers which is to drive their flocks bleating in Ronnie’s direction.  Not so fast Ronnie.  None of the five specific ministers you prophesied have died, including the author of that letter who is 81 years of age and has suffered a stroke in recent years.  And was the first person you prophesied to die during your Fifth Thunder.  Guess again, Ron.  You’re going to have to wait awhile for those 2700 additional people — quite awhile.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland conducted his last radio interview over 2 years ago.  Since the end of his current timeline is quickly approaching, he is seeking more interviews.  In an attempt to generate a little Sixth Thunder action, Ron published an ad in this month’s issue of a trade publication for radio talk show hosts seeking guests.  Here is the text of his ad {with additional commentary from me}.

——————-  Ronnie’s Ad —————-
In the past three years, our world has experienced devastating natural disasters, a rise in terrorism and declining economies. Nations are falling apart in the face of this instability and unrest among citizens. Are these just random events, or is there a larger force and plan at work?  {Yes.  To the “random events”. No larger force here.}
Ronald Weinland says the global turmoil is not random. In fact, he says it is a predicted in the Book of Revelation and these are all signs that we’re in a countdown of the final years of man’s self-rule on Earth. {“Years” now, huh?  Thought you were claiming months.} Weinland has dedicated his life to revealing the truth {Ron wouldn’t know truth if it came up and kicked him in the heinie.}about the Apostle John’s revelations and warning mankind about changes that must be made.
Ask Weinland to explain:
• How the European Union will rise as the last revival of the Holy Roman Empire.{And how long has that imminent development been prophesied?}
• Why he says we’re on the brink of World War III.  {Oh, do tell.}
• The Seven Trumpets of the Seventh Seal. {Let’s start with the First Trumpet.  Where the heck is all that “exactly what it means” dead vegetation?}
• The Seven Thunders of the Book of Revelation.  {Let’s talk about the Fifth Thunder, that is the first phase of the fifth thunder that was to prove you as a prophet of God.  How’s that working out?  How many of these specific individuals have died?}
• What will happen when Jesus returns on May 27, 2012.  {Let’s hear about what happens on May 28, 2012 when Christ doesn’t return.}
CREDENTIALS: Ronald Weinland has been a minister in the Church of God for 25 years. {.. a little math here… Hmm.  What were you doing before 1986?}  He travels extensively speaking to congregations in the United States, Canada, Europe and Australia and his live sermons are broadcast on the Internet. An end-time prophet of the God of Abraham, his books have been read in more than 160 countries. His latest book is 2008: GOD’S FINAL WITNESS. Visit www.ronaldweinland.com.  {Instead, how about visiting the page which analyzes his latest book in detail.}
AVAILABILITY: OH, nationwide via arrangement and telephone {And maybe from a prison cell if you wait too long.  Weinland’s criminal trial is scheduled for March 20, 2012.  He is under indictment for income tax fraud, using church funds for personal use without declaring that as income.}

———————  End of Rotten Ronnie’s ad —————-

Now’s your chance to comment.  What questions you you suggest the radio talk show ask of our most formidable prophet?

Here are a few of my questions:

So when exactly will the U.S. Economy collapse?  (It hasn’t collapsed so far.)

So when exactly will the global economy collapse?  Will it happen during 2011 as you prophesied in posting on your blog dated Feb 25, 2011? (“We have now entered the year for total economic collapse, with worldwide tribulation and destruction.“)

Which specific natural disasters did you predict?  Be specific as to timing, location, type of disaster, and impact which you predicted in advance to that level of detail.

It will be interesting to see if God’s most formidable prophet and the Spokesman of the Two Witnesses gets any interviews out of this ad.  Even an interview with a small radio station in a small market, much less a major market or even a nationally syndicated show.  If you become aware of an interview, please let us know about it.