False Prophet Ronald Weinland

False Prophet Ronald Weinland is in Los Angeles on his way down under via Air New Zealand.  A new name, Bob Pitts (if I heard correctly), local elder in LA, gave the opening prayer.  Johnny is going along with Ron to Australia and New Zealand and gave the closing prayer.

Ron handed out some statistics: between 600 thousand to 650 thousand copies of his books printed and 1.5 million copies downloaded.  Just think:  if Ron’s prophecies had come true on the schedule laid out in his books, around 2 million people would be familiar with his fulfilled prophecies and would have joined PKG already.

This is the weekend of Ron’s Thanksgiving Fast.  While the rest of PKG is fasting, Ron (got it out of the way early?) had breakfast this morning and tortured those in attendance by drinking water during today’s performance.

Ron has put out the beginnings of a course correction.  Seems that not all events relating to the Two Witnesses will be as expected, due to warfare of a spiritual nature.  Hmmm.  Could this non-event relate to the deaths of the Two Witnesses on the streets of Jerusalem with live TV coverage, exactly as described in “2008 — God’s Final Witness”?

Ron mocked people who make the same mistake repeatedly, such as getting married repeatedly to people with whom they’ve cheated and being surprised when it happens to them.  Not at all like following one apostle after the other who prophesies the end is imminent and being surprised when these prophecies fail.

Ron’s perfect God created mankind with a nature to sin.  God created evil, including the personification of evil in the form of Satan whom he knew would use his free will to rebel.  A God who took a man who somehow never sinned and then had him tortured to permit him to forgive the rest of mankind who can’t avoid sinning and will send this man here in a few months to destroy the majority of the rest of mankind.  A God who wants nothing but happiness and fullness of life for us.  How could we possibly reject that?

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Windsor CT (between Springfield MA and Hartfort CT) this weekend.  While Mitch Williams, his senior elder for the area,  gave the closing prayer, Ron had Ralph Dowd from Cincinnati give the opening.  Wonder why elder John Giannotta of nearby New York was not given mike time. Could it be that John is one of the elders who is hedging his bets by putting some cash in reserve for the unlikely event that Christ doesn’t return on Memorial Day weekend?

Ron announced some tweaks to his upcoming itinerary but still plans to travel to Europe, visiting the Netherlands two weeks before Pentecost and London the last weekend before the one that Christ doesn’t return.  Ron advised his groupies planning to follow him to Europe not to do so.  Seems one of his acolytes even plans to travel to Israel.  Why bother to do that, when you will be able to view Ron and Laura’s bodies lying in the streets of Jerusalem on TV?  Have some faith, after all Ron says in his book that it will be on TV, and everything is coming to pass exactly as written in his books.

While Satan put thoughts in Ron’s head back on the day of Atonement that Christ would not return on Pentecost, it was Jesus who gave Ron the Last Great Day sermon during which he messed with his followers’ heads, resulting in at least one who required professional help to recover.  Ron’s sermon was all about faith, starting out in Hebrews 11.  He again compared himself to Noah, who was mocked (even though the Internet didn’t exist) for building an ark.  How could someone not ignore the abject failures of all of Ron’s prophecies and give up so close to the end?

Ron also read in 1 Corinthians 10:23, with his point being that one should give a good example, refraining from certain acts which while lawful could be lead others astray.  Ron should have had that in mind before leading IRS Criminal Investigation to conduct a 3 1/2 year investigation leading to a criminal indictment.

Ron has thrown money yet again into Google advertising, claiming search results have increased 20-25% per week.  While traffic statistics from alexa.com indicate that Ron’s web traffic is increasing, he’ll have to increase it significantly above 0.002% of web users before he dies in 8 weeks if he wants people to celebrate his death by exchanging gifts and watching the live coverage of his bodies on TV.

Ron promises a unique sermon next weekend, which is to be a fast of Thanksgiving to God for delaying the Great Tribulation for so long.  There is to be a new focus.  Ron made no direct reference to Christ’s return in 9 weeks.  Could this be the beginning of the course correction needed to lead PKG around the shoals of the failure of his ultimate prophecy?

False Prophet Ronald Weinland remained in Cincinnati this weekend before an overflow crowd that required one more section of the hotel ballroom to accommodate. None of the local elders got mic time, as Ron gave his own opening prayer and Johnny gave the closing.  Ron has made adjustments to his elders list, promoting Lynette to senior elder despite his promise back in 2010 that there would be no more senior elders after Mitch Williams (I think Lynnette is the fourth one since).  April Combs has been promoted to elder along with Alan Giles.  Early in 2008, Ron passed out business cards to his acolytes with information to obtain copies of his books.  Last week he stated that over 700,000 copies had been printed up with 150,000 on hand to send out to those who get one of the cards handed to them by a PKG member or follow a sponsored link from a Google search.

This weekend is the half-way point in the latest restart of PKG’s march around Jericho.  Ten weeks down in his last 20-week half-a-time, ten to go.  Three and one-half days in Ronnie’s latest Bible misreading.  Ron spent most of the sermon recycling his sermons from the last feast, which he said that Christ gave to him.  I suppose the Christ also gave his Last Great Day sermon which caused so much consternation among his followers.  He also let out a few more gems in this sermon, such as:

• Unlike WCG ministers who would run out of material after about 7 years and have to be relocated so they could recycle their material before a new set of victims, Ron is blessed by being able to add more and more to the Bible.
• Some ministers got their own ideas and went off on tangents.
• God provided technology so that China, Russian, and Europe could destroy the earth and pave the way for Christ’s return.
• This upcoming Passover will be in the top 3 of all Passover’s in significance, along with the first Passover as the Israelites were getting out of Egypt and also with the Passover for Christ’s Last Supper.

Ron says that he now expects the vast majority of the destruction to happen after his death.  That would be his death in the streets of Jerusalem at the hands of the Beast Power just over 9 weeks from now, sometime around midnight Tuesday evening May 22 Cincinnati time.  The last week before Christ’s return will be a busy week for him: starting with his return from the Netherlands on Sunday for his Monday morning pre-trial conference in federal court.  Will the Beast Power snatch him and the Mrs.  beforehand to spare him all that court stuff? Ron warned that his members would be tried by the delay of the second trumpet, not everyone would make it and someone would leave even at the very end.

Still trying to figure out Ronnie’s end game.  With Ronnie everything’s eventually spiritual, just as was my speedy death from the inside resulting from my mocking him after his reiterated death curse in December of 2008.  Will Ron die spiritually too?  How will Ron spiritualize the rest of it?  We’ll just have to stay tuned to see how it all plays out.

I’ll leave you with the epitome of irony from yesterday’s sermon, when Ron said:

It’s about not stealing and taking advantage of other people.  It’s about not lying to people.  That’s why God talks about hating a lie.  And people lie.  And then, you know, you tell one lie — you know what happens?  You gotta tell another one to keep backing it up.  And you can’t keep track of all the lies.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in the Spokane area speaking in his small rented conference room before the faithful gathered from as far away as Hawaii and Florida.  Seems Johnny wasn’t in attendance this time, and he gave his “local” elders Chris Czech and Jim Jamieson some mike time for the prayers.

Back in 2008, Ron spent a bunch of money on Google keyword advertising and sending out copies of his books.  According to court filings, the IRS criminal investigation of Ronald Weinland determined $1.8 million spent on church expenses that year, and whatever wasn’t spent on Ronnie and Laura’s globetrotting with their entourage was spent on that.  A Google search 4 years ago for certain keywords would result in a sponsored link to Ronnie’s the-end.com website promoting his books.  Spending tapered off in 2009 with only a few pushes, such as when the movie “2012″ came out.  Ron says that he is restarting the Google ad campaign in a final push to drain the funds.  And indeed a search for “herbert armstrong” will return a sponsored link.  The cynic in me wonders if this isn’t part of his legal defense, that those funds weren’t really his but were the church’s, don’t you see?

Ron repeated his claim that the great tribulation could happen all on the last day. He wonders why some people are leaving his church with time so short, and predicts that people will leave even on the last day.  I wonder if PKG members will give it up when they don’t see his body lying next to that of the Silent Witness on the streets of Jerusalem live and on television.  But I expect that Ron will prepare them for that by spiritualizing it in advance.  I wonder how all the 3000 ex-WCG members are going to be driven to join Ron’s church if the Great Tribulation is delayed until May 26.  Oh yeah.  That’s what the Google advertising for the keyword “herbert armstrong” is for.

Ron went back to his April 16 sermon of last year, in which he prophesied that last year’s Passover would be the last great one before Christ’s return as it would be the last one for which people could assemble, since obviously the 5th trumpet would have blown by now and we’d be in the 5 months of torment.  Seems that not everything he says came from God.  Ya think???!!!  Fortunately God reveals to Ron a new way to twist the Bible to explain the 5-month thing, but hasn’t yet revealed an explanation for the year, month, day, and hour thing.  Somewhere the 200-million-strong Asiatic hordes are gathering to rampage.

Ron’s upcoming church-wide fast at the end of the month is to be about thanks giving.  I’m thinking that would be giving thanks for delaying the Great Tribulation for so long.  Of course were a significant disaster to happen soon after, the fast would turn out to have been about that.  Ron warned against being distracted by non events.  He went on to state that if it doesn’t happen on May 27, that whatever they do to recover after that is between them and God and immediately transitioned to an implication that currency will be worthless.

Now less than 11 weeks to go.  And just over 12 weeks before the start of the criminal trial of Ronald Weinland.  Which I doubt he will be able to delay a third time, unless he decides to accept judgment and takes a plea.  Will be interested to see how Ron plays out this end game.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Georgia this weekend.  He gave Johnny Harrell a break and allowed the father and son duo of Paul and Alan Giles to give the prayers.  One thing that helps keep Ron’s house of cards from collapsing is the family groups that are in PKG.  Just before calling Paul up to give the opening, Ron commented on the crowd and said it felt like 3000 in attendance.  But he went on to say it would be a few weeks before that number showed up.  Ron has long prophesied that a “tithe of a third” of those who were WCG members at the moment of Joe Tkach’s apostasy will join his church before Christ returns.  I agree that they will not show up in the next few weeks.  They will not show up in the 12 weeks remaining until Pentecost.  Nor will they show up in Ron’s small rented conference rooms after that.

Ron announced a number of upcoming trips.  He plans to be in New Zealand for Passover, Melbourne for the last of the Days of Unleavened Bread.  Then for the following sabbath (April 28) will be in Australia’s Gold Coast but I doubt that he and the Mrs. will swing by to see Corey.  But wait.  There’s more.  On May 12, he will be in the UK and on May 19th in the Netherlands.  The week before Pentecost will be busy for Ron.  On Sunday, May 20, he has to fly back from Europe to attend his pre-trial conference in federal court on the 21st.  Then the following day, the Beast Power will whisk him and the Mrs. off to Jerusalem where they will be whacked and their bodies will lie on the streets for 3 1/2 days with live television coverage.  Then Ron and the Mrs. will be resurrected to become members of Elohim after which they will probably return to the US to wreak vengeance on the prosecutors from the US Attorney’s office and the IRS special agent who developed over 5000 pages of discovery during a 3 1/2 year investigation.  Amazing!!!! Awesome to understand!!!!

The sermon was mostly his usual blather.  He criticized the Protestants for their interpretation of “John 14:2  In my Father’s house are many mansions” and their lust for heavenly mansions.  One should look for mansions here on earth, such as the one on a golf course that Ron and Laura live in.

The “louder, honey” moment came as Ron was having a senior moment forgetting the name of a sea that he and Laura had visited on one of their several trips to Israel.  Despite that, we didn’t hear from her.  Perhaps she is sensitive to my comments about past participation in services.

In the millennium, Satan and the demons won’t be around to break up family relationships.  If Ron goes to jail.  Ron talked about the sealing of the 144,000 that had taken place.  God knew what was in their hearts and minds and how they would react in any situation.  I believe that ChaCha was a member of the 144,000 at one time — did God know how she was going to react to the continued abject failure of Ron’s prophecies?

Ron hinted at carrots in future sermons.  Ron also mentioned a fast for the weekend of March 31st, to give thanks to God for holding off the Great Tribulation for so long.  I wonder if it will be a 3-day fast this time.  Ron, since you compare yourself to Jesus so much, why not emulate him and do a 40-day fast?

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in warm Los Angeles yesterday before a crowd from states as far away as Maine.  They were scheduled to break the sabbath (according to some zealots) by going out to a restaurant to eat together.  Ron and Laura arrived at their Los Angeles hotel late the evening before, since he had to catch a late flight at 5:30 PM due to the 2 PM Friday afternoon appearance in federal court for the hearing to consider his motion to continue the trial for a second time.  There were smug chuckles in the audience as he announced that the new date for the trial is June 4, which is the Monday of the second week following his scheduled conversion to spirit being and escape from the jurisdiction of the United States.  I wonder if he’ll put his attorneys on a short leash and tell them they needn’t bother preparing for trial. Ron mentioned that his church was aware of the hearing, I wonder if he put the news out internally or if enough of them read of it in news sources such as the Cincinnati Enquirer and this blog to become aware of it.

Ron has updated his timeline charts and added a new one.  Unlike the past, he did not post these charts on his website.  Perhaps he remembers the debacle in 2010 when I criticized the inconsistencies within his own whacky theories and he revised them multiple times.  During his sermon, Ron mentioned Power, Signs, and Lying Wonders (2 Thes 2:9) as originating from Joe Tkach (the Man of Sin and the Son of Perdition).  The Signs and Lying Wonders are the Power of Ron’s charts to further entrap his deluded members.  It will be wonderful during the millennium when each of the 144000 will deliver sermons to multiple feast sites, because they will be spirit beings with spiritual powers.

Ron’s blood sugar must have fallen toward the end of the sermon, or maybe he was still suffering jet lag.  He had a number of senior moments, making a number of misstatements.  Luckily his son Jeremy has the skillz to edit MP3 files.  But maybe it wasn’t something like that, but rather a Freudian slip when Ron confused as to whether it was God or Satan making life miserable for PKG members.  I say it’s both, two-two-two-in-one with Ron’s god equaling Satan.

This post is being published 3 months (both prophetic 30-day months and Roman calendar months) to the very minute from the moment that Ron will be disappointed that he doesn’t escape federal jurisdiction.  (Thielogical Bob, your math is off, it’s still more than 65 days).  And the moment the sealed members of COG-PKG are disappointed that they don’t don white “remaint” (that’s Ron-speak for “rainment”) as they are converted to spirit beings, and the family members of those in “the sealing” are also disappointed that they won’t be seeing their loved ones.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland managed to get around the confiscation of his passport to perform his weekly blather in Toronto.  People traveled from afar to overflow the hotel conference room including Terry Wrozek from Michigan and Mitch Williams from Massachusetts to give the prayers.

God has revealed that the last 140-day half-a-time is the 5 months of torment mentioned in Revelation.  And that 5 months of torment can be as few as just a few minutes anytime during this 5-month period.  How do we know this?  Because Ron told us and he is obviously God’s prophet.  How do we know that Ron is God’s prophet?  Because of all the detailed prophecies which have come to pass exactly when and how he prophesied they would.  And let’s not forget of all the dead CoG ministers including the 5 he said would die early on.  And then we have the hordes of people banging down the doors of PKG associate elders to become baptised.  And the other hordes, the Asiatics currently rampaging and destroying the Earth.

And we should not try to put our own definitions on Ron’s prophecies.  To take them at face value is against God’s purpose in revealing what Ron truly prophesied as God is revealing the true definition of Ron’s writings to him.  Awesome what God progressively reveals.

Ron repeated his “to the very hour” claims relative to Joe Tkach’s moment of becoming the man of sin, taking time to mock my posting of January 14th in which I pointed out that sundown in Jerusalem on December 17, 1994 was on 9:38 AM Atlanta time.   According to him, it was totally backward, ignorant, foolish of me to think that sundown on a particular day has any relevance.  Seems that God run things according to man’s 24-hour clock an as I’ve pointed out long ago, sundown on the eve of May 27th is 7:36 PM Jerusalem time which is 12:36PM Eastern Time when you adjust for the timezone different.  I wonder if God also adjusts things for man’s daylight savings time when making things happen “to the very hour”.   Just wondering, since May will be daylight savings time and December is standard time, so was the very hour at 12:36 PM on Dec 17, 1994 or at 11:36 AM (don’t forget that we set the clock forward one hour in the spring when going to daylight savings time).

At least we’ve established from this weekend’s sermon that “to the very hour” is determined by man’s clock, not the sun, and that we have to adjust for differences in time zones. Ron, thanks for making that clear. So let’s see if Ron will respond to my post of January 15th in which I pointed out — oh, let’s just point it out again.  Ron himself said in this weekend’s sermon that that they had to clear the hall on Dec 17, 1994 by 1:30 PM.  This statement was right after he repeated his claim that Joe Tkach died 40 weeks later to the very hour.  And I provided documentation (PDF download from Servants New website) of the hour and timezone that Joe Tkach died:

For those time-zone challenged people, Pacific time is 3 hours behind Eastern time.  So Joe Tkach died at 5:20 PM Eastern time, long after and certainly more than an hour after Joe Tkach was kicked out of the meeting hall.  And much more than two hours after the time that Ron has instructed Jesus Christ to return on the Saturday of this coming Memorial Day weekend.  This still holds no matter how daylight savings time is regarded by God.

Let’s get out the hot dogs and marshmellows.  Documented evidence: Ron’s pants are on fire.

A personal to PKG members.  In his sermon, Ron described evil spirits that mock and scorn God’s people.  The evil spirits are the ones who will try to suppress your thinking, responding to any questions about Ron’s silliness with instructions to pray and fast.  If you have any thoughts of that sort, feel free to express them in the comments area on this blog.  If you still have lingering fears about what your elder will do if he finds out you’ve posted here, then just be careful what personal details you give.  As far as your questions, they probably are shared by others you know who are reluctant to give them voice.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Denver this weekend with people in attendance from a number of surrounding states and as far away as Georgia.  This time he allowed the “local” elders Travis Luksich and brother-in-law-and-senior-elder Scott Cameron to give the prayers.  I say “local” since Travis is from New Mexico and Scott from Kansas, which is still “local” in the context of Weinland’s scattered church.

Ron read off his published upcoming itinerary which ends on March 17th in Cincinnati.  But said that Cincinnati was questionable.  Why would an appearance at his home city be questionable?  Well, the weekend of March 17th falls between the pre-trial conference and the start of his criminal trial for tax evasion.  This suggests that he’s considering entering a guilty plea in exchange for a lessor sentence prior to the pre-trial conference.  March 8th is the current deadline to submit motions relating to that to the judge.  Not knowing what the process is, but perhaps the pre-trial conference scheduled for March 12th would turn into a sentencing and Weinland would not be free to delude his followers in person.

Ron continued his sermon series lawyering his own book and the Bible.  He introduced the notion of “inset” verses.  Which means that some verses are an aside not following chronologically a verse that precedes.  So when reading:

Rev 9:1 And the fifth angel sounded, and I saw a star fall from heaven unto the earth: and to him was given the key of the bottomless pit.

the following verses don’t necessarily follow the fifth trumpet.  I don’t recall him mentioning inset phrases, because he says the falling star was Satan being cast down from heaven long ago.  Which means that God’s perfect book isn’t so much because it doesn’t say that John saw the “star which had fallen from heaven….”

According to Ron, we are in the five month period of torment.  He lawyered his own book, reading from page 126

Those of the scattered Church of God, who are tormented during this five-month period, will suffer greatly for their stubborn pride and continued defiance against God.

and focusing on the word “during”.  “During” could be as short as 5 minutes sometime, anytime during the 5-month period.

Ron said that the fifth trumpet has not sounded.  Nor, for that matter, have the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th trumpets and the first trumpet has blown spiritually with the literal physical destruction of 1/3 of vegetation yet to happen.  The 5-month period can happen before the fifth trumpet.  And we are not aware of what is going on, just as  we are not aware of the preparations of the 200-million-strong army of the Asiatic hordes now on-going during the year+month+day+hour period which has already begun.  Don’t forget about “inset” verses.

Since Ron is lawyering, let’s take another look at this sentence from page 125 of his book that he just glossed over:

At the same time all these events come together at the sounding of the Fifth Trumpet, there will be an initial period of time (five months) when much human suffering will continue as a result of the first four trumpets.

Ron explained that the “torment” might not be physical torment, but mental.   Sounds like my spiritual death and the deaths of other mockers on the inside resulting from his Two Witness curse issued in December of 2008 being mental.  Or the torment and looking for death could be shaken up with looking for and fearing death that might strike.   So Rev 9:6 “And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them. ” means the opposite of what it says.

Ron explained that the 7-day march around Jericho is a parable and a “type” which he gets to reuse as he sees fit, having previously equated one day of marching to a half-a-time but now is equated to a 20-day period within this last half-a-time. Or maybe would be 7 marches in the last 20-day period. Yet it would have been so simple for him to have read the Bible and equated the 7 marches the Israelites did around Jericho on the last day.  Just as his “running down the hill” bit that he equated with PKG members’ total resolve

We are now 1/4th of the way through the 7th and last of Weinland’s 140-day half-a-times.  Less than 15 weeks for the torment to become known, the preparation of the Asiatic hordes to become apparent, for the 1st trumpet to blow physically along with the following 5 trumpets.  And a criminal proceeding for tax evasion to fit in.  Less than 15 weeks for millions to be baptized into the Church of God PKG, but Ron now claims the last 6 trumpets could happen in the final week before Pentecost.   Should be interesting to see what lame excuses and twisting of the Bible and his own books Ron comes up with next, and how many PKG members continue to drink Ron’s Flavor Aid.  I’m planning to “see it through to the end”.