False Prophet Ronald Weinland

False Prophet Ronald Weinland delivered the last sabbath sermon to be delivered before Christ doesn’t return, unless he decides to assemble his Cincinnati-area acolytes next Friday night for a special sermon.  His senior elder in UK, William Milne, gave the opening prayer.  He read an email from a fence sitter in that region, maybe even our own resident fence sitter Mal (Mal, please check in  — we haven’t heard from you since January).  The fence sitter thinks Ron has the “truth” but doubts that Christ will return next weekend.

Ron took a minute to assure relatives of PKG members that he teaches against committing suicide.  While I don’t foresee a Jonestown-style mass suicide, I think that there may be some individual members who will not handle the non-return of Christ very well.  For a preview of possible reactions by PKG members, the article  A Year After the Non-Apocalypse (hat-tip to Gavin Rumney for finding this) suggests a range of responses based on what happened with the True Believers after the failure of Harold Camping’s prophecies just about a year ago.  My personal opinion is that most PKG members will continue to follow Ron into the next rabbit hole.

During his last sermon, he railed against his critics, and also took another swipe at people who litter.  He stated that the 7000 to die during the hour that Christ returns would be preachers, elders, and bloggers whose deaths would frighten the 63,000 survivors.  I’m wondering about the logistics of that, how the 63000 are going to be aware of this minor calamity relative to all the nukes going off as World War 3 breaks out.  He reflected on history, mentioning his breakup with UCG back in 1997.  How as a teen he wanted to be a general and a jet pilot so he could kill lots of people.  Instead, he’s become a pastor general and has damaged hundreds of lives. The 2 million books that have been sent out (which ends mid week), and all the ordaining he’s done for no purpose now until after Christ returns. The PKG website will survive World War 3 but all the other websites such as this one will be cleaned from the Internet.

Ron stated that if (if?) he doesn’t become a spirit being next weekend, he will realize that he will have more physical struggles and mocking to contend with. Somehow he recognizes this as a realistic “if” but doesn’t view it as reality.  Oooookaaaay.  Ron will repent but signals that he will continue preaching as he has the “truth” and would still believe that Christ is returning soon.  Gavin Rumney reposted an article from late in 2007 about how Ron might play his failures in 2008.  Actually, Ron has already exercised tactics 1 through 4 on Gavin’s list to some extent.  I view tactic #6 as a possibility.  Tactic #5, “I never actually said that, or, I’m not technically a prophet.”  is simply not in Ron’s play book.

A number of other blogs have added countdown timers to their sites.  Most of them count down to midnight on the 27th according to the clock in your PC.  The countdown timer that I’ve had on this website for the past several years counts down to the very minute of this non-event regardless of your timezone.  The “very minute” that Ron has scheduled his elder brother Jesus to appear is at sundown in Jerusalem on the eve of Pentecost.  Which happens to be 12:36 PM US Eastern Time next Saturday. This post is being published one week to the very minute prior.

A note about my countdown timer: it does not show fractions of a unit of time, so when the time remaining is 6 days and a fraction of a day it shows 6.  You may note that 0 months and 0 weeks remain.  But the counter also shows shorter units of time, down to seconds.

Further indications that Ron has decided to not plead to lesser criminal tax evasion charges.  There has been no filing for this and the deadline was Thursday.  Instead, there was a filing by the government to replace one of the two assistant US attorneys — if Ron were planning to plead out I doubt they would bother with a second attorney.  No withdrawal motions from Ron’s attorneys, suggesting that he’s continuing to pay them even though he believes he won’t need them.  Ronnie has a pre-trial conference with the judge on Monday morning and his trial is scheduled to begin on June 4.

Ron ended his last “live” sermon in this physical body with Psalm 116:17 and an admonition to his acolytes to be strong and of good courage, and then gave his own prayer.  I expect another “live” sermon from Ron, still in the same bald-headed physical body, no later than June 2,

False Prophet Ronald Weinland spoke from the Netherlands after first traveling to Germany to visit son Jeremy.  No doubt he will pay those expenses from income on which he’s paid his taxes rather than charge them to the church since he is a law-abiding taxpayer.  His local elders Gijs van Lerberghe and Willem Henderson are still drinking Ron’s Flavor Aid and gave the prayers.

Weinland answered some questions about what members are to do on the 25th and 26th.  Ron might put a pre-recorded sermon on the website on the 25th, but hasn’t decided yet.  He warned that members should not be traveling at that time as World War 3 could prevent them from getting back to their stash of canned goods needed to survive for a few weeks.  Ron mentioned the destruction of 1/3 of the earth caused by the Russians and Chinese and how some of that could spill over onto the US.  No mention of what he wrote on page 4 of his book:

This final stage is referred to as the great tribulation which is prophesied to last for a final three and one-half years. It will begin with one-third of the United States being destroyed—followed by World War III.

But Ron reminded us that he’s not a fortune teller.  Ya think???  Then Ron went on to discuss signs and lying wonders.  His son-in-law Chris Little sent him a link about huge stars hundreds of times larger than our own sun.  And that his members would be greater than those stars after being converted to spirit beings and joining Elohim.  Then he went on to fabricate more signs and lying wonders from Rev 11:13, with the 7000 who die being a tenth of 70,000 who are genuinely part of the scattering still alive in two weeks.  So more of the scattering will be brought into the Millennium less the 7000 who are sacrificed.  I wonder if the 7000 include the 5 CoG ministers who were supposed to die early on and the rest of the CoG ministry who were to die as part of the Fifth Thunder.  Satan is perturbed by all this new truth being revealed at the last minute, just when he thought he had PKG within his grasp Ron wriggles out.

Ron again mentioned his mockers who are tormented because they are rejecting the truth cobbled together by Herbert Armstrong from several other religions and expanded upon from Ronald Weinland’s fevered imagination bolstered by generous interpretations derived from Strongs Concordance.  After over 4 years of blogging about Weinland, I’m still mystified as to who these tormented mockers could be.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Detroit yesterday for the last time before Christ doesn’t return.  Today Ronnie flies off to Europe for the next two weeks, after which he has to return to Covington, Kentucky to appear for a pre-trial conference before the judge in the criminal tax evasion matter and then to wait a few more days to be converted to spirit being and made a member of Elohim.

Ron advises his members to stay at home on the 26th.   Things can happen quickly — Ron mentioned that all 7 trumpets could blow in 1 hour.  So beginning at 11:36 AM Eastern Time on the 26th we should finally, finally know exactly how 1/3 of all vegetation is going to die to fulfill the first trumpet and what all the other trumpets are going to be.  Oh yeah, that’s nukular war.

Ron might put a sermon up on the church website the evening of the 25th for his faithful acolytes.  After all the trumpets are blown on the 26th (here in the US) followed by 7 vials of plagues poured out over the next 24 hours, PKG members will finally, finally need all the canned goods they have set aside as it will take a few months to get the semi-trucks running after all that nukular devastation.  After all that nukular devastation, it may take a few months to get the website back online to deliver more sermons.  So perhaps PKG members should have their iPods all loaded up with sermons and fully charged.  Might want to wrap it in tin foil on the 26th to shield it from the EMP resulting from all that nukular devastation.

Ronnie stated that ordinations have stopped for now.  No need right now as the tithe of the third of “the scattering” are not going to join PKG before the end.  But after Christ returns, ordinations will resume so that the PKG faithful can finally, finally put their training to use to baptize those who survive all that nukular devastation and the plagues.  Not only did God lie to Satan to deceive him, he lied to PKG to get Ron to ordain all those members.  Ron’s God sure does work in mysterious ways.

Ron went through Revelation 11 giving lessons in Greek.  It seems that man has mistranslated from the Greek, messing up the tense.  Where Rev 11:7 states “And when they shall have finished their testimony, the beast that ascendeth out of the bottomless pit shall make war against them, and shall overcome them, and kill them.”, “shall have finished” should be “shall finish”.  This somehow means that events can be spiritualized and happen simultaneously over a period of 3 1/2 years which are the same as days.

It seems, or is implied if I understand the point of all his blather that we who post and comment on this blog might be the beast?  In any case, a good portion of his sermon was addressed to his mockers whom he accused of tormenting themselves and again advised to “go fishing”.  Myself, I don’t care for fishing but went out dancing last night rather than wasting my time on his blather.  I did listen to the sermon during the commute though.  But Ron prophesied that the mocking will continue all the way to the end.  I think it likely that prophecy will come true.  But then the only prophecies that come true are the ones the mockers fulfill.  It’s all about the mockers!!!

Ron also characterized his mocking as coming from “the scattering”.  I myself am not part of “the scattering” having decided that HWA’s nonsense was exactly that before I came of age where I could be baptized.  Dillweed doesn’t seem to have a CoG background either, and Jack obviously does not.  Now Thielogical Bob, who reads my blog for stuff to post about on his own blog, does qualify as he is drinking Rod Meredith’s Flavor Aid.  Ron stated that mockery also comes from other CoGs who preach sermons about him.  That I doubt, although some mention Ron in passing.  And Clarion Call Dave has Google Ads out there hoping to mine the PKG disaffected to fill the ranks of his own little CoGlet.

It was pretty clear from his sermon that Rev 11:10 “And they that dwell upon the earth shall rejoice over them, and make merry, and shall send gifts one to another; because these two prophets tormented them that dwelt on the earth.” is covered by this blog who are tormented by Ron’s truth and exchange comments in celebration of all the physical failures.  Me “tormented” by Ron’s “truth”?  {chuckling}  No, I’m partly amused and mostly amazed that anyone can buy his baloney.

We can look forward in the final 2 (or maybe 3) sermons before Christ doesn’t return to more and more of Ron’s spiritualizing his prophecies.  But there’s lots to spiritualize.  If he spiritualized the TV cameras that are going to televise the bodies of Ron and the Mrs, I missed it.  I’ve missed how he spiritualized the 200-million Asiatic horde which is supposed to be rampaging right now causing the destruction of 1/3rd of the earth and mobilizing to battle the Beast Power in two weeks in the Valley of Meggiddo.  Maybe the Beast Power and Asiatic Hordes will be spiritualized as the IRS and the federal prosecutor, and the Valley of Meggiddo as the federal courtroom.   In any case, we can forget about things happening exactly as written in “2008 — God’s Final Witness”.  But no matter — truth is what Ron said in his latest sermon.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland got a late start (about 10 minutes) in Cincinnati on his first weekend back from Australia.  His senior elder Steve Dalrymple and evangelist Terry Wrozek did the prayers.

Last weekend, Ron spiritualized the deaths of Laura and himself.  He continued on with this theme, heavily using his Easy Button in covering Revelation 11, the chapter on the two witnesses.  As in the past, he also used Strong’s Concordance to search for alternate meanings to words in the Bible.

Turns out that Revelation 11 is about the church.  Jerusalem is not the actual city, but rather is the church.  The gentiles are the non-believers who don’t believe his truths.  Also other nations who don’t love the United States.  The fire that comes from his mouth is judgment on those who ignore the two-edged sword that consists of the truths he invented.

Ron has long prophesied that a “tithe of a third” of those who were baptized WCG members on December 17, 1994 would join PKG before Christ returns.  He also has ordained by now over 100 of his members to baptize the millions without a CoG background who will clamor to join his church when the Great Tribulation arrives.  He now says that while it will happen, the timing has been changed by God.  This will not happen until after Christ returns.

Ron turned to Strong’s Concordance to search out alternate meanings for change or turn.  The rain that the Two Witnesses stopped up is the drought in other CoGs who won’t accept the rain of Ron’s new truths.  He has previously stated that the Two Witnesses don’t wear literal sackcloth, but rather the sackcloth of humility.  Now it’s also the scratching of others who mock Ron and his members, enemies who have been put out of Ron’s church for sins such as adultery and are eaten up inside.  I don’t know who these people are, as none of that anti-Weinland sites are run by people who were members of PKG or even another Armstrongite church and therefore could not have been disfellowshipped.  His enemies are filled with venom and eaten up inside.  Uh, no Ron.  Your critics are not eaten up.  Rather, we are watching with bemused bewilderment.  Amused by your nonsense, and amazed that anyone believes it.

Ron did issue one prophecy that I fully endorse.  He says that he will never change water to blood.  He also stated that there would not be TV coverage or interviews until it is over (but somehow TV coverage will survive World War III and the Seven Vials poured out on the day of Pentecost).  I tend to agree.  Ron did get some TV coverage — when he was indicted a local TV station had a brief (about 15 second) statement by the TV anchor as Ron’s photo imitating Herbie was displayed.  I think there may be similar TV coverage on May 28th after Christ doesn’t return.  And maybe another brief blurb on local TV should he be convicted.

Twenty-seven days until the non-return of Christ. Also, three weeks from tomorrow is a pre-trial conference with the federal court judge in his criminal matter.  There has been no court filing for yet another continuance, and I rather doubt that the judge would be sympathetic to a third request.  Should Ron decide to plead out to get a reduced sentence, he will have to make the decision and a motion filed for rearraignment on a lesser charge by May 24.  Time is running out for Ron.

Thanks to Rambo for bringing this YouTube video to my attention in the comments section of my prior post.  I thought I’d share it for the benefit of those who don’t read past the front page:

This was put up on YouTube yesterday by “WeinlandSermons”, who from his other videos appears to be one of Ronnie’s fan boys.  Even though he is the one who put up the clip of Ronnie’s death curse on mockers issued in April of 2008 and which is shared more often by Ronnie’s critics.  But from this video, you suspect he’s not so much a fan any more. Some notable quotes from the YouTube clip:

“I strive not to allow any of my reasoning….to get in the way”

Tell us something new, Ronnie.

“I’ve been watching Glen Beck too much.”

Yes, Ronnie. You do watch a lot of cable TV. I wonder how many of your followers are doing without cable TV (and other things) because they threw down their pitchers.

“.. and if they speak a lie, they are not yielding themselves to the righteousness of God.

Unless of course we’re talking about Weinland’s God, who lies to him so he can pass the lies along to his followers.

At the end of the YouTube video, are a couple of clips which I think are from other sermons even though “WeinlandSermons” described them as all coming from the same sermon. I suspect that “WeinlandSermons” may be “thinking differently”.  The increase in web traffic to this site beginning on Saturday suggests that others may be beginning to “think differently” as well.  Now 31 days until Weinland’s sealed are not made members of Elohim.  We’re expecting a sermon following up about that. It’s amazing!!!!

False Prophet Ronald Weinland is in Australia scheduled to return to speak in Cincinnati next weekend.  Before, discussing the sermon, let’s review “2008 — God’s Final Witness”.

[pg 111]The question about how God has revealed His truth to me is a fair one. The answer that I am who I say I am will be given by the events described in both books coming true exactly as I have described.

[pg 22] These two prophets of God will complete the work that God has given them to do, then they will be killed in the streets of Jerusalem. Their bodies will remain in the streets of Jerusalem for three and one-half days while the world watches via television.

In this weekend’s sermon, at 12 minutes into the file:

The two witnesses will not be killed in the literal city of Jerusalem.  And their dead bodies will not lie in the streets for 3 1/2 days.  God’s two witnesses will live right up to the coming of Jesus Christ, coming to this earth as the king of kings.  This 3 1/2 days spoken of here about the two witnesses is fully about the past nearly 3 1/2 years, what we have been living.

—— The following is an update to this post, written after listening to the rest of Ronnie’s ramblings ——

After making the big announcement, Ron went on with his attempt to justify his changes.  He went back through history, although he couldn’t remember the name of Basil Wolverton who was HWA’s tame illustrator drawing cartoons with horrific themes such as the illustration of the body of a woman raped, tortured, and murdered in the old testament and the illustrations of people suffering the great tribulation.  In the olden days, Armstrongites expected the Great Tribulation to last for 3 1/2 years.  But we know much better than that now.

PKG was hidden away within the United Church of God following Tkach’s apostasy but left after a time and a year later on Pentecost of 1998 the new era supposedly began.  Weinland then reviewed some of his old literature from around the change in millenniums: his periodical “Newswatch” and his Armstrongite-style booklets “Time is Running Out” and “Time Has Run Out”.

Ron reminded PKG members how God had great mercy on them by allowing him to reveal the 50th Truth a few months ahead of his scheduled date of Trumpets of 2008.  Which had nothing to do with Ron realizing that he would lose followers unless he showed that Sign and Lying Wonder right away.

Forty-two months is 3 1/2 years which is like … ta-da — 3 1/2 days.  3 1/2 days/years of spiritualised death.  I’m finding it increasingly more difficult to hang on to the possibility that Ron believes the nonsense he puts out on a weekly basis.  First Ron spiritualizes my death and the deaths of other mockers.  Now he spiritualizes the deaths of himself and the Mrs.  Next he’ll spiritualize the return of Christ.

This was part one of a multi-part sermon series.  Ron is crossing the Red Sea and God is revealing things incrementally.  I wonder if God will reveal to Ron how to explain this statement made just 5 weeks ago, on March 17:

I have come to believe with all my being that the vast majority of the destruction happens after I’m dead. Do we have eyes to see and ears to hear?

The real question is: Do PKG members have minds to think?

False Prophet Ronald Weinland ended the Days of Unleavened Bread on Friday in Australia. His sermon was focused on the impending return of Christ in 6 weeks.  He referred back to the Last Great Day sermon as a test of whether his members believed that PKG is the true church.  Ron stated that he believes in Christ’s imminent return with everything he does, but went on to talk about how even if it doesn’t happen we are in economic difficulties.  Since Ron is so totally committed to the certainty of Christ’s return on Pentecost/Memorial Day weekend, then he didn’t pay the property taxes on his house last fall.  And he’s not funding the defense team in his criminal trial or otherwise preparing for trial, since the trial begins a week after Ron joins Elohim.  But then Ron DID pay his property taxes last fall.  Hmmm.  Wonder how trial preparation is going.

Ron marveled at what would happen after joining Elohim.  As a spirit being he would be able to pop in on people when he want … oh, never mind — there would be limitations.  He compared being able to look down from above to his experience at bungee jumping in New Zealand.

Ron promises a sermon next week with new revelations from God that will make Satan angry and frustrated.  Satan thinks he has led the church into a trap, but Satan is only a pawn.  Even though 10 nations have still not yet arisen, events will proceed according to God’s timing. The Red Sea will part at the last minute and pull Ron’s fat out of the fire.  Ron also promises that we will be able to see all the final events on TV or in some way.  Uh, huh.

For the Saturday services, Ron announced an ordination of a new elder but would not give Matt’s last name because of different web sites on the Internet that harass his elders.  Not sure which web sites these would be, perhaps their authors fell victim to the death curse Ron issued in December of 2008 against anyone who would criticize either him or the church. He also ordained Charmaine. After these announcements, Ron turned the mike over to his evangelists for a split sermon.

Wayne Matthews gave the first part, talking about the unmistakable proof of Christ’s return which God places in the mind.  Unlike all the kooks who set dates, this one is for real because it’s part of God’s perfect plan and God never changes dates.  Seems that God lies, because he gave the date of last year’s Feast of Trumpets to Ron first.

Wayne believes Jesus will be established as king at the end of the sabbath in Jerusalem on May 26 because God placed the truth in his mind.  He stated that it could absolutely be proven that Christ returns on Pentecost, and then went on to give a muddled explanation based on Ron’s interpretation of scripture.  Which included a statement that Christ was put on the stake (not cross) at 9 AM and died at 3 PM.  Provable.  So Wayne, where is the proof of those times? Was it 3 PM and not 3:01 PM?  Is this time from 2000 years ago more closely defined than the moment of Joe Tkach’s apostasy 17 years ago?

Wayne referred to the infallible charts on the website, which would include the one that gives the disproven claim that Joe Tkach died to the very hour 40 weeks after delivering the sermon of apostasy in Atlanta.

Wayne reiterated that everything was going according to God’s perfect plan, bombs will go off here and there.  It will be obvious to everyone when Christ returns.  That some PKG members will watch other PKG members converted to spirit beings (PKG’s equivalent to a rapture) on that day, less than 6 weeks from now.

Johnny Harrell reiterated the PKG members have a front-row seat to events, and warned them to fasten their seatbelts.  But some PKG members will not wait, with Satan fighting a battle in their minds.

I wonder how it is PKG members know that it was God and not Satan who put it in their minds that Ron is God’s prophet and speaks for him.  And how it is that the last 3 1/2 years have been a training period for the sealed when Ron’s book states that the sealed were fully trained at the moment of the sealing on September 30, 2008.

And what their reaction will be at 12:37 PM on May 26 in Cincinnati when bombs have not gone off and the PKG members who are part of the sealing have not joined Elohim?

False Prophet Ronald Weinland is in New Zealand. Even though Ronnie’s retinue includes Johnny Harrell, he gave local elders Pat Cameron and Adrian Gray some mike time for the prayers. Johnny got to give part of the Passover service on Thursday evening and will give a split sermon with Wayne next week.

Ron made his sermon about this being the Jubilee year, which comes along every 50 years. And coincidentally around the start of the counting of 50 days to Pentecost. During the Jubilee year, Israelites (but not foreigners) have their payments on debts deferred. Jubilee is about deliverance, with Christ returning this year to deliver us from Satan whom God created on purpose in the first place.

Ron referred back to this distortion of the story of Gideon and the “running down the hill together” theme he invented around that story and repeated in 2007 and 2008. “Running down the hill together” was his metaphor for showing a commitment to his prophecies, which his members did by turning over their life savings to him so he could go on his Total Resolve Mediterranean Cruise and pay the property taxes on his Total Resolve House on a Golf Course which he allegedly refinanced to get money to put into the church.  It was an understatement that they didn’t know what lay before them (even though Ron is God’s most formidable prophet) and it turned out to be a delay of the Great Tribulation as God showed mercy on the world.

Ron mocked the Baptists and other Protestants for teaching swill and garbage, and deriving their core doctrines from the Catholic Church.  Being morons for believing Christ died on a cross instead of a stake.  But otherwise the Spokesman Witness did not mention the Bishop of Rome.  Now Ron, if you want to irritate the Beast Power when it arises during the next 6 weeks sufficiently to motivate it to haul you off to Jerusalem, you’ll have to be much more critical.  It’s not 7 sabbaths and a day that remain for that, Ron.  It’s 6 sabbaths and a couple of days.  Unless that turns out to be the thing about the two witnesses which is not as expected.  How about that, Ron?