Take a Hammer to It, Ralph

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in San Jose, California yesterday.  Although his traveling senior elder Ralph Dowd was along to entertain us by playing an old sermon, he allowed some mike time to local elders Tom and Russ to deliver the prayers.  PKG is still short of technical expertise, with the streaming audio feed delivered at a too low bandwidth of 8 kbps and the sermon recorded for download at a bandwidth-wasting 128 kbps.  But then again anything about 0 kbps is bandwidth wasting when it comes to Ron.

Ron went back to “2008 God’s Final Witness” to read about the third thunder.  Then he went on to cherry pick news sources in support, surprisingly all were mainstream instead of World Nut Daily and that ilk, to describe droughts in some areas and floods in others.  He started with a mention of the severe flooding in Queensland, Australia.  Reader and sometime contributor Kirrily lives there and is rightly concerned about the devastation, but recognizes that it’s not a fulfillment of Ron’s prophecy.  After all, the title of the chapter from which Ron read is titled “The Seven Thunders of the 6th Seal”. The 6th Seal ended on November 14, 2008 with the opening of the 7th Seal on which day the whole world was shocked and in horror as we well remember since events were even more devastating than those of September 11, 2001, another day we well remember.  Except for me, I’m having a senior moment so perhaps one of the PKG members who reads my blog will leave a comment to remind me.

Ron continued with his Jericho theme.  Each 140-day half-a-time is like one of the days the children of Israel marched around the city of Jericho, which fell on the last day.  Next Saturday will be halfway through the “week”.  I’m surprised that Ron didn’t announce a fast to mark the occasion, it will be interesting to see if he notes the event next weekend. Ron is concerned that people will leave (as some have done since the feast) over the next year while nothing significant happens as the situation builds to a crescendo just before Christ returns.  He’s also setting the stage to hang onto his members well into 2012, speculating that the 5th trumpet will be benign as the beast power takes us over peacefully.  Some how he will manage to spiritualize the 5-month period of the 5th trumpet during which we will be stung and tormented.

He also revisited his vultures-gathering-around-the-body theme.  Just as there are many websites critical of the deposed end-time Elijah-to-come Herbert Armstrong, there are websites critical of him.  Let’s see.  There’s Dill Weed, who writes a short piece every week.  There’s Thielogical Bob who writes an occasional piece criticizing Ron and pronouncing an altar-call for his favorite false prophet, Rod Meredith.  And then there’s yours truly, the most prolific blogger, who has decided to cut back on his blogging as we wait for the false prophet to do something interesting like a new prophecy, a new title for himself, or a new doctrine.

Today is the 25th anniversary of Herbert Armstrong’s death.  Weinland can’t understand why people hate him so much so long after his death.  But so long after Herbie’s death, people are still drinking varieties of his Flavor Aid.  It’s just that new people are serving it up, and mixing in more or less of their own.

I ran across this on my Facebook feed (yes I’m in rebellion against God’s apostle and end-time Elijah) and thought I’d tear a page out of Dill Weed’s book to share it with you.  If you think about it, it’s sort of topical.  Enjoy (I did). (YouTube has taken down the original embedded video, but here’s an official clip of the exchange.)

19 Comments

  • Atrocious says:

    Oh Mike, that was absolutely hilarious!! It’s good to start out my day with hearty laughter, and that did it for me! Thanks for posting that!

  • Auto Blogging Software Review - Auto Blogging Software Review says:

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  • Atrocious says:

    Huh?

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    A spam that leaked through the filter. I wish WordPress would let you shut off the option for linking from comments, would cut down on comment spam a lot.

  • Atrocious says:

    Oh, ok. Thanks for explaining that. LOL

  • Mantayo says:

    ” He’s also . . . speculating that the 5th trumpet will be benign as the beast power takes us over peacefully.”

    He said that?? The Great (But Peaceful) Tribulation!!

    Words fail me . . .

  • Whisper says:

    Again, why have a “Tribulation” if it’s not going to be Tribulating for 95% of the time? On that note, why have a “Tribulation” if it’s not going to be Tribulating 1% of the time?
    It’s like putting on commercials for months on end about a 3-1/2 hour show about a grand soccer tournament. But when the show comes on there is 3 hours and 15 minutes of a continued shot of a empty soccer field. No players, no ref’s, not even a team of line-men laying down a final layer of white line powder… Nothing. Then in the last 15 minutes players come streaming onto the field with the coaches, ref’s, team assistants, line men, etc… As the TV viewer watches the empty field at about 1 hour in the thought occurs, why did they make the TV slot so big? Why not just show 15 minutes where the action is instead of showing 3 hours and 15 minutes of empty field, no action, nothing….?

    When you promote a “Great” thing of a God then it would pay the God great dividends if what was promoted actually happens and for the WHOLE time that it is slotted to happen, if not then it is seen as sketchy at best.

    Go figure?

  • Atrocious says:

    Insanity has no reason.

  • JB says:

    This reminds me of the commercials with the Easy Button, when there is a tough job and things aren’t going well, just push the easy button and everything is instantly better and easier. When the great tribulation doesn’t happen as promised Ron just pushes that easy button and magically everything is now spiritual!!
    Easy Button

  • Atrocious says:

    I wonder what would happen if one of the members of Ron’s group would stand up during his sermon, look around at everyone and proclaim, “This guy doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about! He’s told so many lies and false prophecies! This guys insane! How can you all follow a man like this? I’m getting out of here!” and then make a beeline for the door. Unfortunately they would all probably shake their heads in dismay that satan could enter into one of their own and deceive him like this. There would be a lot of “tsk tsk” going on and murmuring. It would do absolutely nothing. Why? Because everyone in the room is a robot without a brain listening to an insane madman who belongs in an asylum. So, so sad, so very sad.

  • Lurker says:

    I check out your blog occasionally to see what’s up with Ronnie b/c I have family members who drank the flavor aid. Anyway I just wanted to say that this last post was so hilarious! (As were some of the comments – “It’s Spiritual” – LOVE it!!) Great job. It is so important to have a sense of humor about this sometimes.

    While I’m here I was wondering if anyone could tell me which Bible translation the COG-PKG uses. If anyone here is religious like me, please pray for me and my PKGd family members and I will pray for you & yours that this year they will see the light.

    God bless you all and happy 2011 – and I know it’s a bit late, but MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

  • Whisper says:

    When your very busy re-defining the Bible(s) at every turn does it matter what bible you use? It’s just a launch point for the expadition. But now I’m curious too, what Bible does Ron butcher every week? Well, as his website says one must quickly read up on Rons written words, Rons audio sermans and Rons books. I don’t think it reads anywhere that Ron wants anyone to read the bibles as Ron is way to busy shredding them…

    Go figure?

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    I’m not sure, but I think he may be using the New King James version. I’ll look at it a bit closer this weekend to see for sure.

  • Kirrily Xpkg says:

    I’m 99% sure it is the NKJ, as that’s what version Wayne told me to get, as I had the Old King James.

  • Jack says:

    It is the NKJV. I heard him say it back in 2008.

  • todd says:

    Just read an interesting article on American Thinker. Seems a lady challanged another end times prophet. She told him to put his money where his mouth is and deed her his house and money on the day after the end time. He apparently did not respond to her challange.
    Someone should do that with rw!

  • Kirrily Xpkg says:

    That is classic Todd! I remember Ron telling people to give give give….. Then he went on the total resolve cruise. That would be sooooo interesting! Wish a radio interviewer had have thought of that! Lol.

  • Freckles says:

    Hey Lurker, I have a family member in PKG following good ol’ Ronnie as well. It’s so hard to watch as they just fall more and more into the depths of his evil grip. Our family has made a joke of it as it helps to laugh instead of crying about how we have lost a loved one to Ronnie.

    I will be praying for you and hopefully our family members will see the truth sooner than later.

  • Susie says:

    Unbelievable that Ronald Weinland would try to put death curses on people! I know that can’t be the way of God. His prediction in the end of this book did not come true. The US is still an independent country and has not suffered all that destruction he claimed would occur. A true prophet would not keep changing times, they would be right the first time! He puts too much importance on what days to observe and when, such as sabbath and passover. To me, we should be thinking of and worshipping God every day. What really gets me is that he does not see that there are much bigger spiritual problems than worship dates in this world! What about the pornography that is rampant and destroying the family units all across our country? And what about the violent pornography that is causing killers to murder?! What about child abductions and sex slavery? These seem to be bigger problems than this petty stuff he talks about, and these are just a few of the major ones. I would think God is more upset about those. Some in my family used to be members of the Worldwide Church of God before it broke up. I don’t say they were wrong about everything they believed, but once again there are bigger problems in this world than dates of worship. It does not matter to me what church a person belongs to. Only that they believe in God, they love others, and their heart is good. Nobody, including myself, is able to live up to the righteousness that is required by God. I think that is why we have Christ and his sacrifice. This is why I don’t belong to any church. I really feel that only God can be trusted for knowledge. So even though I have a very strong faith and love for God, I just stay out of all churches and try to worship God through loving others and praying.