An Act of God

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Richmond, Virginia this weekend.  The local region there has not grown (actually several members have left since the sealing), so Ralph Dowd was imported to give the opening prayer and Dave Conley gave the closing.

Ron announced the ordination of yet another associate elder, having ordained Reba from Lubbock last week while in Dallas.  Ron is still negotiating with the venue for the feast site in Florida, maybe he expects a discount should the oil spill migrate around the east coast to Jacksonville.  I imagine the hotel is not going to bargain, expecting spillover business that would have went ordinarily to the Gulf region.

Ron had to disfellowship a member from Montana.  Ron doesn’t appreciate the competition, as the df’ed member believes himself to be one of the Two Witnesses.  Perhaps this member viewed this as an open position as Laura hasn’t done any prophesying recently — haven’t even heard her cackling recently.

Come to think of it, Ron hasn’t done much prophesying either.  He’s minimizing his prophecy, and hasn’t even taken note that next weekend is the opening of the window for the Fifth Trumpet that he gave last fall.  Saturday is the end of the first 280-day revised time that began with the Feast of Trumpets last fall.  I wonder why Ron didn’t call a fast as he did for the end of the first half-time back in February.  In the meantime, he is happy about the destruction of the statue shown on the right which burned down after being struck down by lightning.  This was not the result of a plague called down from heaven by the Spokesman Witness during one of his many trips past it on his way to preach to the faithful in the Toledo/Detroit area.

Ron was reluctant to give the name of the pet lamb he had while growing up.   Ron, I could care less what you named your lamb as a child.  What I care about is the abuse you lay on your sheep as an adult.

14 Comments

  • Mark says:

    “In the meantime, he is happy about the destruction of the statue shown on the right which burned down after being struck down by lightning.”

    That’s because Ron hates Jesus getting more media attention than he does. Think of it- a statue of Jesus receives more media attention than Ron has had all year. lol

  • Aggie says:

    “(actually several members have left since the sealing)”

    Which one? March 18, 2008, or September 30, 2008? Since it’s over two years later from the first sealing, and almost two years later from the second sealing, any who have left between the two are certainly a bonus!

    “Ron is still negotiating with the venue for the feast site in Florida….”

    I never knew this when I was in, but apparently FLA was THE Feast destination, in the US (or maybe for the southern States…I always heard/thought/believed the Poconos was “THE” Feast destination everyone marked down as their first choice), and I have become aware in recent years, that it’s still a hotbed for Church of God groups all holding their own Feasts, in the area. (Old newspaper articles on Google Search indicate there was a large Feast site in Petersburg, that regularly hosted 10,000+ before the receivership.) Maybe Weinland is just going along with the CoG crowd on this one? Or he thinks he/his “elders” (I guess he’s making all the members elders now, just to keep them overly-invested in “the end times”) might be able to poach a larger following, from the attendees of the different Feasts?

    *shakes head* How would that even work?? I mean, before, you could usually tell who was a fellow member or not, and if not, all you had to do was ask, “Are you in the Church?” If you weren’t sure, that is….But what would someone attending one of a hundred different Feasts in FLA ask? “Which Feast are you attending?” !!!

    The mind boggles….We may not have been unified “in spirit” in the old church, but at least we were ONE church….I never have understood, and never will understand, the mentality of all those people who migrated to one (Or even more!) of the splinter groups….There was ONE (only ONE) “True Church of God”…and then there wasn’t. NONE of the splinter groups are “true” churches, of god, God, or otherwise. Don’t even get me started on those who hop from one splinter group to another….I’m sorry, WHAT? I mean, do they just think, “OK LCG is the True Church of God, holding fast to the faith once delivered!” …. “No, wait, that’s not right, UCG IS THE ONE TRUE CHURCH.” …. “Oh, no, wrong again, PCG is the TRUE True Church! For sure it is!” …. “Still wrong! David Pack IS the end-time Elijah!”

    How can people DO that? Not just with Weinland, but the rest of them, too? THERE IS NO TRUE CHURCH OF GOD ANYMORE. Get a grip, people!

  • Aggie says:

    Also! Damn, that’s one UGLY statue!

  • jack635 says:

    “Ron was reluctant to give the name of the pet lamb he had while growing up”

    I’m sure he said he called it “cutie pie”. Funny how the lamb under Ron’s care was found dead four days later. Maybe it couldn’t come up with a quarter. (25 cents)

  • RK says:

    Aggie says: “THERE IS NO TRUE CHURCH OF GOD ANYMORE.”

    Was there ever?

    “Ron had to disfellowship a member from Montana. Ron doesn’t appreciate the competition, as the df’ed member believes himself to be one of the Two Witnesses.”

    I Love It!!

  • jack635 says:

    the df’ed member believes himself to be one of the Two Witnesses.

    Ron’s disease is contagious?

  • Atrocious says:

    Oh now, he can’t have that! He’s the ONLY spider in the web. All the flies in that web are his! Oh sheesh!

  • Baywolfe says:

    Also! Damn, that’s one UGLY statue!

    Looks more like Poseidon than Jeebus. Is that a cross or a trident?

    Maybe each church can use a different sticker color.

  • JB says:

    The PKG member that claims to be on of the end time wittnesses reminds me of the US immigration issue between AZ and the US Government. If the leaders don’t take charge, the people do what needs to be done. I think it is a hoot that this guy was probably just tired of RW and his speechless wife doing nothing. If you aren’t going to do anything—move over and I will do it, after all I am a choosen one!!

  • Aggie says:

    “Was there ever?”

    In our heads…LMAO, I missed that bit about the 2nd-and-a-half witness! I remember back when I was running the Weinland Watch site, some dude in Pakistan emailed me, saying HE was the 2nd witness…this was long before Ronnie unveiled the little woman, but we all knew it was going to be her, anyway. The Pakistani dude did NOT take kindly to the idea…LOL. I think Weinland got him out of the way, for fear of a Terry Ratzmann-like encounter…but, really? You join a church WITH Two Witnesses already, and THEN you claim you’re the 2nd Witness?

    What kind of drugs was he on??

  • J says:

    TOUCHDOWN!

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    Catching up some comments lost during the database problem

    xHWA said:
    Sitting with a Ronnie-head right now. Kinda creapy watching their excitement over the earthquake in Toronto. Almost like they are salivating over the event. “It means something,” they said. :( Yeah, means there’s the most active fault in eastern Canada having a moderately active moment.

    I used to be that way. Glad to be free.

    Aggie said:
    Can’t have been that significant an earthquake, because they’re still talking about the G20 here. And that’s on the Canadian news…..

    As a matter of fact, I’ve had CBC on all day, and there wasn’t a single mention of an earthquake, in Toronto or otherwise, all day long. Some “prophetic importance” that is!

    ..CBC being headquartered in Toronto, and the broadcasts coming from there, you would think they might have mentioned it, if it was any kind of an earthquake at all. But, nope!

    xHWA said:
    Odds that the severity of this “thunder” will be greatly “increased” by next Saturday’s sermon?

    Aggie, It’s “spiritually” in Toronto. Lol

    Well, that’s what I get for going by the CNN map. No news on it here, either. Only a brief mention.

    jack635 said:
    It was a 2.7 magnitude just north of Oakville. Last earthquake was in 2004 3.8 magnitude. Normal phenomenon. Nothing to do with Ron.

    What would be really funny is if Ron crossed the border today at 10:50 am this morning which is when this doorstep, of horror quake hit Oakville.

    Aggie said:
    I thought it was a 5.0 centred in Quebec? Oakville only got the aftershocks…..

    Whisper said:
    “The U.S. Geological Survey reported a 5.0 magnitude earthquake rumbled about 11 miles underground near the Ontario-Quebec border region at 1:41 p.m. Wednesday.”

    Oh my, a real live 5.0 earthquake! Mercy, batton down the hatches I says, hold on to your kids for dear life!
    Wow, earthquakes happening on the face of the Earth, who would have thought this would have happened?
    Must be a sign I tell’s ya! A sign of… well of movement of the Earths crust over the semi-molten layer of rock & metal that the plates rest atop.

    What day is there not an Earthquake on this planet for goodness sake?
    Lions and Tigers and Earthquakes, oh my!

    Aggie said:
    Also? This “world news and prophecy” story rated just under two minutes of coverage on CBC today…even Armstrong was better at finding stronger confirmation bias stories than that!

    But, then, the PKGers found a lot of confirmation bias with the earthquakes in 2008, too (pity J’s old site is down, he basically sucked ALL the wind out of their “prophetic” sails on that one), and look how “prophetically significant” those “signs” turned out to be….. /sarcasm

    If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a thousand more times, until people get it drilled into their thick skulls: NO REBOOT RON:

    * 1335 Days: The sealing of the 144,000 that will make up the Government of God at Christ’s return in 2011 took place on the 2nd of February, 2008, and 45 days later we arrived at 1290 days. [CoG-PKG website FAQ prior to mid-July 2008.]

    * 1290 Days: The Seventh Seal was opened on the 18th of March, 2008, which signified an end to the abomination of desolation that has been working in God’s Church. This marked the beginning of an awakening for spiritual Israel – the final remnant of the Church of God that was scattered (those baptized before December 1994 – approximately 3000), and will continue right up until the return of Jesus Christ, 30 days later we arrived at 1260 days. [CoG-PKG website FAQ prior to mid-July 2008.]

    * 1260 Days: The blowing of the first Trumpet will occur/occurred on the 17th of April, 2008. This is the beginning of the Great Tribulation and 3 1/2 years until the return of Jesus Christ. The beginning of the fall of the USA and other Israelite countries begins from the start of the 1260 Days. God will reveal this period of time for the first Four Trumpets of 6 ro 12 months. God will reveal this information to His two end-time prophets (and two end-time witnesses) whose job began on this same date. [CoG-PKG website FAQ prior to mid-July 2008.]

    # 1335 Days: The sealing of the 144,000 that will make up the Government of God at Christ’s return in 2012 took place on the September 30th, 2008, and 45 days later we arrived at 1290 days. [Current COG-PKG website FAQ.]

    # 1290 Days: The Seventh Seal is opened on the 14th of November, 2008, which signifies an end to the abomination of desolation that has been working in God’s Church. This marks the beginning of an awakening for spiritual Israel – the final remnant of the Church of God that was scattered (those baptized before December 1994 – approximately 3000), and will continue right up until the return of Jesus Christ, 30 days later we arrived at 1260 days. [Current COG-PKG website FAQ.]

    # 1260 Days: The blowing of the first Trumpet will occur/occurred on the 14th of December, 2008. This is the beginning of the Great Tribulation and 3 1/2 years until the return of Jesus Christ. The beginning of the fall of the USA and other Israelite countries begins from the start of the 1260 Days. God will reveal this period of time for the first Four Trumpets of 6 ro 12 months. God will reveal this information to His two end-time prophets (and two end-time witnesses) whose job begins on this same date. [Current COG-PKG website FAQ.]

    Wonder how long it’s going to be until they change up the dates again? Or have I missed the making of a third timeline? Haven’t visited the site in over a year….

    Lest we forget, Weinland’s major promise for June 8, 2008:

    1:53:20 “Three More Weeks” RW March 29, 2008 sermon: “If by Pentecost [June 8 2008] I’m just going to make this real clear to everyone. If by Pentecost [June 8, 2008] it is not powerfully and abundantly clear that there has been a great deal of destruction that will clearly encompass a third of all plant life in the US and at least the clear results of this mingled with blood the death of very much animal life and the beginning of large numbers of human life then I will stop preaching. Just so all the critics and everyone out there will understand. I am true to my word in these things. OK? And for all the critics if by the end of July and for most likely around Pentecost if nothing has clearly caused great destruction and death I will make it very clear that I was a false prophet. I will do exactly what I said I would do on aaaaall those interviews that I have held. To do less. Well. Would be quite insane.”

    Oh, and I found this little gem searching for “If by Pentecost” on the old WW blog:

    1:16:24 RW Sermon March 29, 2008 “Three More Weeks:“What if, what if…comes April 17 [2008], my life changes dramatically one way or the other because it’s all in. Are we holding back? Are we all running, yet? So what are you going to do some of you who are skeptics and critics and you see these things come to pass? I will tell you what you will do as a whole, you will lie, you will twist, you will distort and you will die – speedily. So, one of us is walking on very dangerous ground…… [about 1:20:00] After April 17 [2008], I would fear to be in any of your shoes, truly, truly, truly!”

    Funny, it’s two years-plus past that “prophetic” date, now. FWIW, I don’t think Mike had this blog up and running at the time, and I was the only who was (deliberately) the most active on the forums, and such, WRT debunking the Two Witlesses…

    I do remember thinking when I heard it, “‘One of us’? Did he actually just say ‘one of us is walking on very dangerous ground’!? Seriously, do you think you’re even coming close to frightening me, Weinland?? My family was once threatened with disfellowshipment and marking, by a WCG pastor who was referred to behind his back as “Hitler Bill”. You’re small potatoes, son, you can’t even do ministerial intimidation the “proper” WCG way! Hitler Bill left us twisting in the wind FOR OVER A YEAR, worrying and praying about our fates that were hanging in the balance (Remember, it’s all about being in the First Resurrection, anything else is unworthy in the extreme.), and playing the deacons and elders and preaching elders against us, and each other.

    “Hitler Bill” was the Yuri Kasparov of master manipulators. And he’s still got everyone fooled into thinking he’s this harmless “evangelical” preacher-man now….Don’t believe it for a second, the man has that streak of cold cunning, required to get the sheeple to do exactly what he wants them to do….It was all gravy, until you pissed him off…then it was open season, and he turned everyone else on you like a pack of ravening wolves…..

    Don’t even get me started on the minister and his 2IC who had all of Toronto terrorized (who have been referred to on ESN, and I can vouch for this), as “the Gestapo Twins”. The white glove inspection, searching the cupboards, grilling the wife and kids, the whole nine yards. Their favourite time of year for sin-spotting was DoUB, natch; “Do not give even the APPEARANCE of evil,” was a big loophole those two pastards exploited endlessly. Of course, Mister “Old Testament” can now be found on the Internet (posted the video myself just to share the mind-boggle, hoo-rah), singing Jingle Bell Rock at the WCG CHRISTMAS PARTY.

    Long story short? Weinland doesn’t have a patch, on the ministers I grew up with; Witless Ronnie and the Missus Witless are a freakin’ joke. Not hard to see why they didn’t get many from “the scattered church”….They’re just too soft!

    Of course, in retrospect, I wish Hitler Bill HAD given us the boot, back then; we would have had our brains deloused from Armstrongism years before the changes, if he had….

    You know, I really have to wonder why Weinland passed up the golden opportunity to shift the third timeline ahead two years; after all, he and the missus could have laughed all the way to the bank, if April 17, 2010 had been deemed to be just as prophetic as April 17th, 2008, was supposed to have been.

    Unless Rotten Ronnie is planning on playing the “prophecy in hindsight” card while he and the missus are stuck in Toronto? Hearsay had it, as of 2008, there were only two members in Toronto (and the IP tracking logs I was keeping at the time confirms this), so at least they won’t have to worry about trying to book a hotel conference room for the church to meet in, during the G20. Although I’d be willing to bet Weinland is going to be keeping a verrrrrrrry low profile, given how twitchy the security forces (and the alleged plainclothes CSIS plants in the crowd) are rumoured to be. I would like to see him have the balls to tell the CCRA officers at the border just who he REALLY is, and what his purpose in Toronto REALLY is.

    Of course, Weinland is much smarter than that, and wouldn’t do anything that would so foolishly jeopardize his bottom line (i.e., collecting the sheeple’s monies).

  • Theodore J Maher says:

    Greetings All…..RW is numbered among the many that are contributing to the confusion….those who are not confused will be able to gleen some truth from this smorgasbord of infomation and misinfomation….Iam convinced that somewhere in this confused world of christianity is truth….as for God is not the author of confusion and HE does tell us that Wisdom will be imparted to those who keep his commandments…..His church exists today and those that are truly called out will find it….

  • Aggie says:

    Riiiiiiiiiiight and I bet YOU’RE the one with the keys to that Kingdom, trolling for new converts here, am I right, Teddy?

    Go peddle your horse-dung elsewhere. We’ve already got two more Witlesses than we need!