Powerful PKG People

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Campbelltown, NSW, Australia (near Sydney) on Monday for the last day of the Feast of Matzo Bread. Yet again Ron failed to ask for the special offering.

He did announce the new elders ordained on this trip down under. Four were ordained in New Zealand: Rex Blake, Pat and Pauline Cameron, and Cindy Gray (wife of Elder Adrian Gray). In Australia, Thelma Wood of Tasmania was ordained. Thelma is the widow of Jack Wood who died within a week of the 2nd blowing of the First Trumpet in December 2008. In keeping with his new policy, he gave only the first names of the new elders because we lie and twist and distort about them (according to Ron) even though we’re doing a service in publishing their names (also according to Ron). 😀

Ron also claimed to have baptized two new members. I don’t doubt it, even though it’s truly amazing that people come to follow and continue to follow this self-proven false prophet. At the beginning of the services he mentioned the magnitude 7.2 earthquake in Baja California. He claims that earthquake activity is increasing since last fall, and yesterday’s magnitude 7.7 will probably be mentioned this coming Saturday. But then later he said that the trumpets don’t prove that he is a false prophet, and that things were written to push people’s (critic’s) buttons. Amazing!!!! The prophecies contained in “2008 God’s Final Witness” initially were to prove that Weinland was indeed a prophet of the God of Abraham. But all along, the hours that Larry Spivey spent editing the book, and life savings of many PKG members spent to promote and distribute the book were only to push the buttons of puny little bloggers such as myself!!! I am so honored, and I’d like to thank you all for your support. I couldn’t have done it without you.

And you PKG members have even greater power. Not only can you help push my buttons, but you can also thwart God’s will by doing the wrong thing at a critical time to put off someone whom God was calling to be a member of his church. The amazing abilities of PKG members, to thwart God’s will and push the buttons of bloggers. Powerfully, powerfully so. Incredible!!!!

I look forward to your next trick, which will be to delay the return of Jesus Christ.

Tags:

57 Comments

  • jack635 says:

    I look forward to your next trick, which will be to delay the return of Jesus Christ.

    Thanks for the morning laugh. Luckily I had already finished my coffee, so no accidents on the keyboard.

  • Whisper says:

    …and for my next trick I will need a volunteer from the audiance, ah how about you young man. Now what is your name my young friend? Jesus you say, good strong name. Well now, if you will just step into this box that the audiance has already inspected for trap doors and secret exits I will now make you, to the astonishment of all, disappear and then re-appear at my calling. This will shut up all those doubting mockers ay what! Didn’t think I could do it did they. Well I’ll a-show em! Now get in the box boy your going bye bye!

    Go figure?

  • Christian says:

    Surely this is all one big joke. It is a “put-on” to get people into the PKG church that the flock is all in on. The question yet to be answered is how long can they perpetuate this act? If there is an end to it (other than the actual return of Jesus) what would that look like?

  • Debbie says:

    From Mike’s post

    “and that things were written to push people’s (critic’s) buttons. Amazing!!!! The prophecies contained in “2008 God’s Final Witness” initially were to prove that Weinland was indeed a prophet of the God of Abraham”

    What BALDERDASH – Ronnie’s followers must be drinking more than ‘Flavor Aid’ if they believing this latest bovine Excrement – DUMBFOUNDING !!!

  • Baywolfe says:

    Christian – Well I suppose it could end up looking like Jonestown, Guyana; but hopefully it only ends up looking like every other fracture of a splinter group. Splinters of splinters where each local elder becomes a witness or apostle or prophet.

    All the splinters need a good dose of George Sanyayana, who seemed to be speaking to them directly when he said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

  • Steve says:

    Maybe Ron will eventually say that HE is Jesus lol….it would be reallllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy interesting to see how many of his followers would believe that…i am convinced there would still be a fair amount…perhaps a third who would stay in the church and believe he was indeed Jesus.

  • randy t says:

    i got a 12 th grade education and no body tides me and i could tell you there going to be earth quakes in calif. da! there will be a hole lot more over the next 100 years thats life.

  • Kirrily xpkg says:

    Um, they are really sinking into themselves…. so I wonder what info contained in the books still apply according to Ron? His whole ‘ministry’ has done a 180.

    What used to be so clear cut with Ron, has now TOTALLY changed!! Woa….. SOOOO glad I am out!!

  • Aggie says:

    “Yet again Ron failed to ask for the special offering.”

    I’ll bet you any money (Hah!) the long arm of the Feds reaching in, has the Holy Day offering being taken up BEFORE they start recording for the webcast. There’s no way Weinland is passing up a chance to fleece the sheeple.

    “At the beginning of the services he mentioned the magnitude 7.2 earthquake in Baja California. He claims that earthquake activity is increasing since last fall, and yesterday’s magnitude 7.7 will probably be mentioned this coming Saturday.”

    In 2008 it was Myanmar and Burma. J, from Shadows of WCG, had debunked these pretty thoroughly (from what I can tell, he’s a meteorological buff), but unfortunately those posts are no longer online (I don’t think they’ve been archived by the Wayback Machine, either, at least they hadn’t been, the last time I checked).

    Moral of the story? Weinland “proved” his “thunders” in 2008, as well. And look where that not-so-great “tribulation” ended up — with Weinland in trouble with the Feds.

    Telling, that.

  • Aggie says:

    “Christian – Well I suppose it could end up looking like Jonestown, Guyana;”

    This is what we had feared for Passover 2008; when that came, and went, without incident to the members, or even the Weinlands themselves, I personally was convinced the Weinlands are only in it for the long con, and the flock are in no danger whatsoever of a Jonestown-like event; as the Weinlands have long since realized, dead men can’t pay tithes, and they are certainly not about to kill off their only retirement income source!

  • jack635 says:

    I personally was convinced the Weinlands are only in it for the long con,

    Aggie, I now concur. Weinland does not believe in God anymore, if he ever did. It’s a living. A sociopath does not care what he is doing to other people because in his mind no crime or harm is being done.

  • Mal says:

    “Weinland does not believe in God anymore, if he ever did. It’s a living.”

    I totally disagree. False or not, he clearly believes he is who he says he is.

  • Kirrily xpkg says:

    I don’t think the question any more is whether he is false or not, it’s more whether or not he is sane and pulling a con, or insane (as he has labeled himself).

    That is a question asked that although interesting, doesn’t change the FACT that he is at the very least a willfull LIAR.

    He has now gone back and changed the very purpose, the very core, of why he said he wrote the books in the first place.

    I’ve met the lunatic and his equally delusional wench numerous times. He is sooooo up himself, and she couldn’t stop flirting with my husband.

    Wayne and Chris were always lovely to me, but now I believe they are nearly as bad as the witless wonders.

  • Whisper says:

    “Weinland does not believe in God anymore, if he ever did. It’s a living.”

    “I totally disagree. False or not, he clearly believes he is who he says he is.”

    It is quite possible that old Ron is both “Con-Man” and “Delusional-Man” wrapped up togethor. People like to mentally pidgeon-hole other people so that it’s all rather neat and tidy, but human beings are rather complex beings. We all are so many things, so many different ideas – personalities – traits that, as psychologists have found, you can diagnose a person but you cant realistically stick a single lable on them and expect them to act ONLY that way.
    Ron is delusional, his writings and sermans proove that, but that is not the whole story. He is also a con-man with a plan to fleece to flock to make his retirement comfy. Ron is also power hungry, er his attempts to make a super cult out of his really small following, but at the same time is a coward and to afraid to strongly make that happen (note his failure in Canada when a mere comedian mocked his god and Ron ran leaving not only the conference and the city but the country as well).

    Ron is many things, unfortunately he has very large and mostly un-checked DESIRES and those desires are what rules him. Ron desires money, Ron desires to be the leader of the ONE TRUE CHURCH, Ron desires to the the Apostle of God, Ron desires to be the Spokesman Winess, Ron desired to the the End Time Elijah (so much he bumped his dead mentor right off the pedastal), the list goes on and on. Ron’s WANTS trump Ron’s responsibilities every time so Ron does what Ron wants to do instead of what he is supposed to do.

    Go figure?

  • JB says:

    Ron does fit the discription of a sociopath perfectly. He probably does believe what he is saying and that he is that long list of self proclaimed titles. If he ever believed in God, God is not with him. The bible clearly warns about the false prophets. I use to worry that he could have a Jonestown effect however I don’t any more, at least for now. He does however cause extreme damage to the minds of his little flock. Everything he does is laughable except that he does manage to snare an unsespecting mind into his web and then hang on to it.

  • Atrocious says:

    Ron needs to just give it up! It’s really getting ridiculous with the nonsense that he is spewing, with the cover-ups (about the book), the lies and deceit, etc. etc. He’s really reaching for straws now and all it’s doing is making him look even kookier than he was. He’s probably comparing himself the Noah when he was building the ark and everyone was laughing and mocking him, too. But there’s a big difference. A BIG difference. It’s apparent that he’s hanging on by a thread. Give it up, already, Ron. You’re pathetic!

  • Mal says:

    Whisper said:

    “He is also a con-man with a plan to fleece the flock to make his retirement comfy.”

    I totally disagree. It’s clear to me that his retirement is the furthest thing from his mind. He is totally and utterly focussed on who he believes he is and that he will die and be resurrected on the streets of Jerusalem at Pentecost 2012. His retirement is not even on his agenda.

  • Kirrily XPKG says:

    Not interested in his retirement? Ron basically tells everyone else to give, give, give (some gave everything 🙁 ) to PROVE, how much they BELIEVE that this is the end (ie. “Your money won’t be any good to you, will it, come April (2008). But imagine what it could do for God’s Work!! How much do you REALLY believe that aaaallll this is true?” – Ron Weinland). God’s work as it now turns out, was to simply push the buttons of the mockers (originally the purpose was to prove who God’s Final Witness was, to get rid of all the confusion out there – so people would know who to listen to when EVERYTHING prophesied in the two books would come to pass EXACTLY as stated). Helllloooooo!!!!

    Ron basically asked us at the time (up to December, 2008), to PROVE how much we believed HIM by giving AAAAALLLLLL we could. My understanding is that people even took out LOANS to give to Ronnie – believing the loans would NEVER have to be paid back. Laura HERSELF TOLD ME PERSONALLY that it is NOT THEIVING to take out a loan and buy things no money down interest free for 3 years – the businesses and banks would be GOING BROKE ANYWAY, without our help.

    Yes Mal, you could say “Stupid followers, I would never have done that – it’s their own fault” – Yes, they need to take responsibility. But when you BELIEVE that God’s most formidable PROPHET makes a PROPHECY….. you would believe that prophecy would come to pass – wouldn’t you. It would prove how much you believed GOD HIMSELF. Let alone, that that very Prophet TELLING US TO DO ALL THIS – GIVE EVERYTHING WE COULD (or possibly get DISFELLOWSHIPPED and miss out on Christs mellenial reign). Oh yes, we did what we were told (to varying degrees). We believed that CHRIST Himself (through Ronnie) was telling us to do this.

    Yet, RON HIMSELF, did not ‘run down the hill’ – but went on a cruise……. They still have THEIR beautiful home, lavish lifestyle, ability to travel. It would have been SO DIFFERENT if Ron too, sold most of his belongings, downsized etc – but he DID NOT and has not. This demonstrates that HE DOES NOT believe his own crap – otherwise the 2 witlesses would be living in a 1 bedroom apartment, her fingers naked of diamond rings, and in debt due to ‘over-giving’ – like MOST OF THEIR FOLLOWERS. Who knows if Wayne Matthews is still unemployed after he quit a very well paying job to look after the ‘millions’ who would be knocking on PKG’s door…..

    Um, this is FACT – I can’t say whether retirement was on his mind or not, but during this period, it was his FOLLOWERS that ‘ran down the hill’ and NOT the thieving, lying false prophets – with all her diamond rings and purchases made on interest free.

    The hypocrisy is sickening. Ronnie put A LOT of pressure on his followers to sell EVERYTHING and give to the Ministry – particularly for the ones who had ‘been around’ and were ‘running down the hill’ – I nearly sold my car, and felt SO GUILTY that I didn’t (obeyed my husband instead) and REPENTED because I DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH FAITH to sell my car.

    I thought “Maybe I don’t believe enough”, “I’m not strong enough to run down the hill”, “Maybe I am not really called”, “Oh God please don’t let me die during the tribulation”, “I’m being selfish buying all this food, storing water, buying warm clothes – I should give the money to the ministry” and ON AND ON AND ON.

    Mal, you don’t know what you are talking about (with respect sir). The above just highlights a TINY, TINY, TINY effect that the LIAR has on one’s mind, in just ONE area.

    What Ronnie prophesied, what God gave him, the purpose of the books HAS ALLLLLLLLL CHANGED/NOT OCCURRED.

    “His retirement is not even on his agenda” – right, so again, this is why he ran down the hill – by telling EVERYONE ELSE to do it, sell their stuff etc, meanwhile he goes on a cruise, keeps his beautiful HUGE house (If he REALLY believed his own crap – why not downsize to an apartment?? Hellooooooo???) and continues to buy up comfort items on interest free. And more diamond rings to hock during GT (yeah right – why not gold coins like most normal people – which would fetch a lot more during times of great trouble … helloo!! Diamond rings *snicker*).

    Those of you who have been around COG for a while, Aggie etc – I’m sure all what I have written here has happened before in Herbie’s day…. and I guess it will happen after Ronnie is long gone….. :-(.

    It also happens in all types of religion I guess…… I believe religion is the root of all evil.

    Perhaps Mal, you could give some evidence of your own to prove that Ron is NOT in it for the money? Your opinion is just that – I on the other hand have first hand experience with the liars and their money hungry ways. Mike has provided much more also. What WE have provided definitely indicates a LOT more than otherwise, that indeed they ARE in it for the money – this is DISPLAYED BY FACTS – not opinion.

    “He is totally and utterly focussed on who he believes he is and that he will die and be resurrected on the streets of Jerusalem at Pentecost 2012.” – *laughs* – yeah right – focussed on the CON of being utterly focussed. Looks like he has pulled you in, hook line and sinker, LOL. Um, good luck with that. Unfortunately, if Ronnie is correct, you will be burning along with the rest of us. As Aggie said, if you believe the liar, put your money where your month is.

    Firstly, contact the ministry, start giving 10% (or is it back to 20% again yet) of your income, get baptised, start keeping sabbath and holy days, eat clean foods, get off ALLLLL the mocking blogs, cancel your facebook account.

    If you sense anger here Mal, you would be correct. Why someone like yourself would stick up for the guy (not being a member, just an onlooker) and negates things that actual MEMBERS of COG-PKG experienced by your UNFOUNDED ‘opinions’ is infuriating.

  • Aggie says:

    “False or not, he clearly believes he is who he says he is.”

    Then how do you explain this, from March 29, 2008?

    “If by Pentecost [June 8, 2008] I’m just going to make this real clear to everyone. If by Pentecost it is not powerfully and abundantly clear that there has been a great deal of destruction that will clearly encompass a third of all plant life in the US and at least the clear results of this mingled with blood the death of very much animal life and the beginning of large numbers of human life then I will stop preaching. Just so all the critics and everyone out there will understand. I am true to my word in these things. OK? And for all the critics if by the end of July and for most likely around Pentecost if nothing has clearly caused great destruction and death I will make it very clear that I was a false prophet. I will do exactly what I said I would do on aaaaall those interviews that I have held. To do less. Well. Would be quite insane.”

    If “he clearly believes he is who he says he is” why is he still preaching?

    For that matter, Mal, why are you? It’s not like you’re a baptized, tithes-paying member of the PKG. So, as far as Rotten Ron is concerned, he “clearly believes” — that you’re going to fry with the rest of us, in the Great Tribulation. Whenever it does actually get started, that is. Come on, Witless Weinland! Third false prophecy’s the charm!

  • Aggie says:

    “He is totally and utterly focussed on who he believes he is and that he will die and be resurrected on the streets of Jerusalem at Pentecost 2012.”

    That’s funny. He used to believe “that he will die and be resurrected on the streets of Jerusalem at Pentecost” 2011.

    But again, you aren’t a baptized, tithes-paying member of the church, so your opinion is meaningless, to both us, and to Weinland’s followers (who are already deceived, although not in the way you are deceiving yourself, by thinking you can escape the PKG’s Armageddon, without paying the necessary tithes to be baptized).

  • Aggie says:

    “Those of you who have been around COG for a while, Aggie etc – I’m sure all what I have written here has happened before in Herbie’s day….”

    Gold ingots. We were told to buy gold ingots, if we had any money left over to spare that is, after 1st tithe, tithe of the tithe of 2nd tithe, 3rd tithe every 3rd year of seven (all tithes being on one’s GROSS income, that is, BEFORE taxes), seven annual Holy Day Offerings (The church recorded how much we gave, by giving us each our own “member serial number” — talk about the Mark of the Beast!), special offerings at various times throughout the year, for “the emergency fund”, “the building fund”, “to get more television stations”, “to preach the Gospel” (that last one was codeword for buying Herbie another Steuben Crystal artwork, so he could bribe a photo-op with a world leader, to prove that he was “preaching the Gospel to all the world”), and the generic “to further the Work!”, usually accompanied by a fire-and-brimstone rendition of Acts 5 by way of Romans 6:23 (Where the “sin” was understood by us to be “living the way of GET” and “stealing from God”.)

    I do believe the ministry, who were exempt from tithes, paid handsomely, and provided with new fleet cars and extravagant expense accounts, may have purchased gold ingots at one time. Regardless, we were instructed in no uncertain terms that putting away ANY money “for a rainy day” or investing in retirement plans/savings funds, was tantamount to having NO faith in God’s True Church.

    More on life under the rule of the church, at least during the time-period known as the “Get the Church Back on TRACK!” era, can be found here. Byker Bob exited the church before “Get the church back on TRACK!” and I grew up during it, so you can compare and contrast Bob’s post, and my comments, to get a sense of what the Church was REALLY like, both pre-1975, and post-1975.

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    Mal, I don’t know how you can be so categorical in your opinion as to Ron’s motivation. I’ve been following his antics for two years as well as researching his activities before that and I am somewhat agnostic on that question. I also don’t follow Aggie’s contention that Ron’s in a long con. If he is in a long con, he’s not pulling it off very well, the fruit ripened long ago and is now rotting on the vine.

    I’m of the opinion that Ron has deluded himself that he is a Witness, then he deludes Laura, and then his top elders, followed by the rest of PKG. When he has a rare moment of sanity and questions his delusions, Laura talks him out of it. At the same time, as an end-time Witness who will suffer a certain death, he’s also entitled to take a 12-day cruise, live in a $381,000 home, and travel internationally while his followers sacrifice to further his delusions.

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    Atrocius said: “He’s probably comparing himself the Noah when he was building the ark and everyone was laughing and mocking him, too.”

    I think he did use that analogy during his last sermon. I know he has used it in the past. All the people who mocked Noah for building a boat well away from any water and then were pleading for space on the boat when the water started to rise.

  • Aggie says:

    “I believe religion is the root of all evil.”

    Absolutely correct, and the current (and inevitable) fall of “the Holy Roman Empire” is certainly proof of that.

    I really have to wonder how the Churches of God are going to continue on, once the RCC becomes a lifeless shell? After all, the core prophecy of ALL the splinter groups from “God’s True Church” involve the Roman Catholic Church creating a One World Religion, with the Pope as the Anti-Christ.

    Given that Ratzinger (if he’s smart, before he’s charged with his crimes) will soon resign, or face a vast exodus of “faithful” from under his “infallible” leadership, there’s not going to BE a “Beast Power”, leading the world to join under “One World Religion”.

    That single event kick-starts the Armageddon that “God’s Chosen Elect” are supposed to survive, and will eventually lead to the “One World Government” Kingdom of God.

    (And what the hell is the difference, I ask, between the “One World Religion” of the Anti-Christ, and the One World Government of the Kingdom of God? Not much at all, if you read the fine print, in the Book of Revelation.)

    That single event is now never going to happen. Soon, the collective Churches of God won’t even have their one, prime prophecy, to fall back on. (Even now, it’s looking shaky.) How can they expect to survive, in the face of this?

    And how can Weinland’s third timeline (Count ’em! This will be his THIRD false prophecy!) expect to be believed, in the face of this? Consider Weinland’s false prophecy from the first (failed) timeline: ““Starting on April 17th [2008] when the Pope is in Washington DC because that’s when he begins to be influenced very powerfully.”’ The pope certainly didn’t show any Beast Power tendencies, either the first, or second times that he was supposed to. And, right now, Ratzi the Nazi has a few other problems to deal with, and simply can’t spare the time to be the Beast Power!

  • Aggie says:

    “If he is in a long con, he’s not pulling it off very well, the fruit ripened long ago and is now rotting on the vine. “

    But he doesn’t need to pull it off “very well”, he needs to “pull it off” JUST ENOUGH.

    With just over 300 church members tithing 10% or more of their incomes (plus whatever “breaking their pitchers” amounts they are giving), his long con is still working, on the marks who are still under his noxious spell.

  • Aggie says:

    “Atrocius said: “He’s probably comparing himself the Noah when he was building the ark and everyone was laughing and mocking him, too.”

    I think he did use that analogy during his last sermon. I know he has used it in the past.”

    Correct, this was on The Edge AM with Daniel Ott, who was also featured in the Positively Pentecostal video on YouTube, mocking Ron, for refusing to come back on that radio show after the first timeline failed.

  • Aggie says:

    I forgot I actually made another post with the video, so you can get the both the first and second Edge AM shows in one shot, and compare them side-by-side.

  • Aggie says:

    I knew I read about the church buying gold on Ambassador Report. Here it is.

    Apparently, the church bought a gold bullion with the misused tithes of the membership, and this in part is what led to the receivership.

  • Aggie says:

    (Also note, the newspaper I link to above mistakenly refers to the disfellowshipments as “excommunicating”, and the list of names in the paper don’t jibe with the names given in AR, which I think is more reliable, in this case.)

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    PKG is the same. According to Ron on 10/24/09:

    I thought I’d mention this one too – our continual, except to now, but we have continued to purchase gold for the Church and even some personal. Do I expect others to do that? No. And please understand we don’t depend upon that, we don’t rely upon that. But we have done some of those things and we started doing it going quite a ways back…when we were still in the Toledo area…some silver back then, going back not too long after 9/11 – actually some of that was done before that because we were still together as a big group there in Toledo area……….. There are matters of wisdom of things we plan and that’s why I thought I’d go through some of these things. The depositing of some dollars in Euros in safety deposit along with gold – some of the same thing – now should others get Euro’s? …… Some people don’t realize what’s happened but it started in 2003 where money was put in Switzerland to take care of the Church.

  • jack635 says:

    I totally disagree. It’s clear to me that his retirement is the furthest thing from his mind.

    Mal you are certainly entitled to your opinion, and I do not consider you one of the rabid weinland followers who used to comment so vehemently on Citizen X’s blog; like think-differently. I remember you commenting on one of X’s posts before s/he pronounced Weinland a false prophet, and you did a good job with Galatians.

    But after reading Kirrily’s comment above, I do not feel the need to offer a rebuttal to your comment. She was a card carrying member of Weinland’s club and the intellligence report she has just typed has un-challengable authority. Not even a current member of PKG could counter what she has just written, because it is eyewitness truth… not hearsay.

  • Atrocious says:

    I agree with Jack635. She said it all.

    Not to change the subject, but I wrote a little limerick. The idea is to add on to it as you wish and see how long it gets. Mike, if this is too off the wall or off topic, please delete this comment.

    There once was a man who was “off it”
    Cuz he thought he was God’s end-time prophet
    His “prophecies” failed
    But he never paled
    Cuz his followers kept him in “profit”.

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    His wife is a woman named Laura
    Who always will polish his aura
    Rings on free interest for time
    No need to spend even a dime
    She doesn’t wanna end up to be poora’

    (OK, my talents don’t go towards poetry. 😀 Maybe someone can fix it for me.)

  • Kirrily xpkg says:

    And while we’re on the subject of Laura,
    She thinks the youngens adore her,
    With a quick batt of a lash,
    And a grab of an ass,
    She’s started a new world order.

  • Atrocious says:

    They travel and build up their stock
    From the monies they begged from their flock
    They know what they do,
    Their words are not true
    And their preaching is all full of crock

  • Baywolfe says:

    There once was a prophet from Nantucket…

    Er, never mind!

  • Debbie says:

    Well said, Kirrily –

    Mal, Aaron & others who are/were never directly associated with Ron/Herb & COG’s can believe what-so-ever they wish – It does get my dander up a bit sometimes when they go on like they do – It is easy for them when they talk the talk, when they haven’t walked the walk – Some of the justifications they come up are just plain ridiculous

    Congrats to all ye poets – I have been entertained by your posts 🙂

    Hmmm – now let me think – what rhymes with Nantucket ?? (That is the bad coming out in me, he he)

  • Atrocious says:

    Who carried around a big bucket….

  • Aggie says:

    You know, there was a thread of hilarious limericks on AW after the failure of the first timeline…unfortunately, Gavin has even blocked the Wayback Machine from searching the archived posts. 🙁

  • Aggie says:

    There once was a false prophet named Ron,
    He and the missus schemed up a con.
    When the church scattered,
    only their retirement mattered,
    And Ron falsely prophesied on!

    If by Pentecost there is not great destruction and death,
    I will be proven an insane lying false prophet, Ron saith.
    Now Pentecost has come and Pentecost has gone (twice, no less!)
    Proving only that the Weinlands are in it for the con.

    I am a Witness, an Apostle, and a type of Elijah,
    These are the prophecies your tithes buys ya,
    As PKGers soldier on, in the grips of the long con,
    After Pentecost has come and Pentecost has gone.

    “It was all spiritual!” The Witless has spoke.
    They have no choice but to listen, the pitchers are broke.
    With nowhere to turn,
    the remorse it does burn,
    As each timeline goes up in smoke!

    “The US will fall in 2008”,
    It’s 2010, it’s already too late.
    The prophet is false, but he hasn’t stopped preaching.
    He changes the Bible, to suit his own teaching.

    “There will be no president in 2009!”
    Barack and Michelle are sipping on wine.
    Time, times, and half a time, they all are a-changing
    The cognitive dissonance is ever-louder and clanging!

    “We’ve been here before!” the ex-members wail and cry.
    With gnashing of teeth, they watch the gullible bled dry.

    “We believed it all too, once upon a time,
    with doctrines that turned on a dime!
    “Makeup and birthdays and Petra and sin,
    the ‘spirit of man’ with the Holy Spirit in.
    “The meaning of Easter, Christmas, and the New Year,
    Pagan, no doubt, don’t you dare miss it, don’t you shed a tear!
    “We were called out of this world, we were meant to be kings,
    But it was only for Armstrong to buy a lot of nice things!

    The teachings and doctrines were so clear and so plain,
    until the cult-busters started to pain.
    They wailed and they cried and they gnashed their teeth,
    While the Joes were the wolves, tending the sheep!
    “You must believe in the Trinity now, and you must
    hold fast to all of these pagan and terrible things!
    Never mind the fact that you gave till it hurt, just to be kings!”

    Victims were blamed, no tears were shed.
    The wolves were at the door
    Only the most gullible were led.
    The cult-watchers clapped and proclaimed with joy,
    “The church has repented! Its new Pope is our golden boy!”

    Still others were lost, even more were confused.
    None knew what was reality, and what was the ruse.
    Everything was false, nothing was clear;
    Even “the plain truth” was no longer held dear.

    From the ashes of destruction, a glimmer of hope,
    Seven hundred leaders, each one of them a Pope!
    “We have the Truth!” they each did cry.
    More confused than ever, the members were wry.

    “The True Church of God” exists in this world.
    Seven hundred of them, banners proudly unfurled.
    “We have the truth!” “No WE are the way!”
    “WE hold fast to the teachings!” all of them say.

    The fruits of their spirits are quite ill-begotten,
    In point of fact, their fruits are all very rotten!
    They hem and they haw, and they change and erase.
    They pitch and they yaw, and present a “godly” face.

    None of these churches though, none of them are True;
    for the True Church of God, only One Church will do.
    But that Church is in shambles, while Junior rambles,
    While the poor people of Africa are forced to tithe too!

    It was a thread of reality that many of us did live.
    Learning “the way of get” versus “the way of GIVE”.
    But that universe is gone, its God is gone off it.
    Splinter leaders preach and mislead, solely for profit.

    Three-quarters of a century, and the Church’s legacy is no more.
    Kissing cousins to Adventists, who knocked on people’s door.
    Branch Davidians and The Peoples Temple: our kith and our kin.
    The House of Yahweh has lots of God’s teachings thrown in.
    Church of God, 7th-day, the “dead era of Sardis”.
    Bet that Council of Elders wishes they had a TARDIS!

    The Kingdom is now no longer coming,
    the World Tomorrow has grown cold.
    But down the hill they still are all running.
    The prophecies gone flat and too old.
    (The Beast Power is getting ready to fold!)

    We were meant to be kings,
    we were destined to rule over peace.
    These were the things
    We were taught, and believed, in the least.

    Lions lie down with lambs, and the children shall lead them.
    The children are screaming, “It isn’t peace that you feed them!”
    Postponements and excuses, trickery and lies,
    Verbal atonements, disappear, when the ink dries.

    Fear not, brethren, this tale is not full of woe.
    For slowly, and surely, into “the world”, we did all go.
    Some of us are Christians, some of us Jews.
    Some Messianics, some Buddhists, and Hindus.
    Some are atheists, agnostics, and non.
    But we ALL have escaped the long con.

    We live in the moment, instead of just for it.
    We embrace the world, some of us adore it.
    We see others at risk, we know what to do.
    We have been here before, now so have you.

    Compassion and empathy and sympathy pain,
    These are a few of things you can gain.
    To love your fellow man, no command is greater.
    Others said it before Jesus, some said it later.
    The world is not evil, nor full of pestilence and woe.
    Holland has tulips, and it’s to Holland we must go!

    Take these words, friends, and spread forth this gospel.
    For this, my truth, is full of light, it is not awful.
    I do not preach to you of wars, nor of terrible death.
    I speak to you of kindness, and the sweetness of baby’s-breath.

    Nature is blooming, with the fullness of Spring.
    The wheel of the year is turning, such is the thing.
    Time moves on, and the time times and half a time grow weary.
    Of these false prophecies, all must be leery.

    So take care and walk cheerfully
    Over all this world you are in,
    See that of God, every person in.
    If god does not exist, see “good” instead.
    (It is better by far, than what Armstrong said!)

    There once was a false prophet named Ron,
    who got sucked in, by his own long con….

  • Mal says:

    Hi Kirrily,

    Firstly, just to say that my comments here are down to my current perception of things, not designed to deliberately provoke you or others. You have clearly experienced a roller coaster ride of faith at PKG, lost confidence in ‘church’, and become one angry lady.

    As has been correctly stated a number of times on this blog, you have first hand experience of PKG and I am only an outsider. Just a reminder though that hundreds of others with first hand experience have remained with PKG, so obviously don’t see things exactly the way you do.

    As an outsider, I have maintained an interest in RW and have listened to his weekly sermons for the last 24 months. So I would think it fair to say I have a reasonable knowledge of where he is at. My perception, based on 24 months of listening, is that up to and including the present time he has believed totally that he is God’s end-time witness. I can in no way go along with the idea that the whole thing has been a deliberate ‘con’ in order to enhance his lifestyle and provide for a comfortable retirement. If anything, he has grown more confident these past few months in who he believes he is and what is the function of his church.

    Why did he continue on after the first timeline? Simply because he genuinely thinks that the ‘50th truth’ is a sign from God which supports his book and confirms who he is. Not only the ‘50th truth’, but the other numerical patterns based on ‘280’ that he has come up with. The fact that Mike and others saw the ‘50th truth’ before RW announced it doesn’t alter the fact that for him it is a confirmatory ‘sign’.

    I have not come to the position where I believe he is God’s end-time witness. If that became the case I would join PKG. I am prepared to give it a few more months.

    Incidentally, tithing is normal and expected in the majority of Christian churches. The extra sacrificial giving RW encouraged, I’m sure was part and parcel of what he considered God was expecting of him and his church. Your observation that he didn’t sacrifice anything himself I can’t comment on. But it doesn’t prove his whole end-time witness thing is a big ‘con’ by him.

    My post was a response to continuing suggestions that RW is out for nothing but money, an easy lifestyle and a good retirement. Deluded he may be, but my perception is that this man fully believes that he and his church are the fulfilment of end-times prophecy. He has built up quite a complex case which he relates to various Scriptures to support this position.

    Just to say finally that, in my estimation, a deluded/deceived man is not in the same category as a villain who deliberately sets out to grab money and power under false pretences; even though the chaos and trauma he causes in people’s lives may be profound.

  • Kirrily xpkg says:

    Yeah, no worries Mal… I understand, you are entitled to your opinion of course. I see more clearly where you are coming from.

    I didn’t believe was conning anyone either, for a long long time. But when they themselves did not give like their followers, well, it’s a bit suss to say the least in my book.

    Angry? Er, sometimes when my buttons are pushed 😉

  • Kirrily xpkg says:

    I must add, that I know exactly why most members are still there. Same reason I stayed even when I really knew deep down he was false.

    I’ve explained it in detail on this blog before, but basically, I WANTED Ron to be right so badly. I WANTED to believe Jesus was coming back soon.

    When EVERYTHING Ron said failed, I was heartbroken. I remember during the first timeline failure that ron said he was in this “all the way no matter what”. Er, what happened to quitting if nothing happened?

    I stayed so long because I simply WANTED to believe Ron was right, that I was called, that I knew the truth as god revealed it thru Ron.

    To leave, i had to admit I was wrong. That god never led me anywhere (I don’t believe god would lead you to a false prophet to teach you a lesson, but who knows).

    To leave, is to admit you were WRONG. Pride stops that very admission, that is the core reason they are there, as well as having nowhere else to go, as you are taught every single other splinter is false, traditional christianity is false etc.

    So, again, it really takes the understanding of an actual member of pkg, or really any cog to mentally and emotionally understand why they are still there, no offense.

    It actually is a LOT easier to stay, and is much harder to leave, and start all over again, as I have done.

    I believe I was brave, as well as the others who left (many left the gold coast group before I did, there were only 2 when I left, who married each other because they didn’t want to be alone during trib. They had only known each other for not even a year I think).

    I also knew full well what they would think of me when I did leave, and that alone is another main reason why you do stay. Again, only those with like experience can fully understand what i am saying. There is nothing logical or intellectual about it.

    I’m writing all these from my iPhone, so please excuse formatting/spelling….

  • jack635 says:

    Thanks Kirrily. It is a good thing that you poured out what is in you.
    There are a lot of people who needed to read that.
    Imagine that, ….. little ole you, saving even one person from Ron’s heretic theivery. But I think it’s gonna be more than one.

  • Kirrily xpkg says:

    I’m glad mike and dill, yourself and others have provided a place to pour my heart out! Sad, angry, happy, sarcastic, mocking etc etc. One thing about me is that I am definately not afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve (you should see the stuff i write on facebook lol!!).

    It’s a great outlet for me, and I do hope it helps others 🙂

    Thanks Jack 🙂

  • Dave says:

    Kirrily xpkg said: I’m glad mike and dill, yourself and others have provided a place to pour my heart out!

    Ohhh.. no mention of Dill Weed Jnr? Hmm.. don’t worry I won’t tell him
    😉

  • Atrocious says:

    Kirrily, I’m glad you express yourself and pour your heart out. And I’m doubly glad you’re out of that cult. I hope Mal reads your writings thoroughly and sees Ron for who he really is. A liar.

    You have a wonderful day.

  • Steve says:

    Kirrily i demand you take down your facebook account, it is the work of the devil…only I am allowed an account there (and browse the “hot babes” in secret)..

    Signed;

    Ronald Weinland

    😉

  • Dill Weed says:

    Dill Weed, Jr is making a special appearance this week on my blog in the Cool Video of the week. It will be show his reaction to when Ron announces he is a false prophet! : P

    Dill Weed

  • Mark says:

    “To leave, i had to admit I was wrong. That god never led me anywhere (I don’t believe god would lead you to a false prophet to teach you a lesson, but who knows).

    To leave, is to admit you were WRONG”

    You, Kirrily, have a heart for God because you humbled yourself to admit you were wrong, which Ron plainly doesn’t possess. You know, maybe God could have used Ron Weinland for real ministry, but he became so prideful and arrogant, which led to his current state of sin.

    God will bless you Kirrily for following Him, especially in the face of enormous pressure from the likes of Ron and others. I know this because God has blessed me 1000 fold since I rejected Armstrongism in 1996 and followed Jesus. It was so plain to see once my vision was corrected. At that moment, joy returned to my heart. There’s only one gospel and countless people embrace it from all walks of Christianity. Even Baptists, and yes, Catholics.

    There’s a reason I recite the Nicaean Creed every Sunday. It’s because I reject people like Ron who come to destroy the faith of our fathers. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing. I stand and say it proudly knowing that I stand also with all the saints and martyrs for Christ.

  • MaryE. says:

    To Aggie:
    THIS Command is the “Greater” one,
    This, only, is the first thing to be done,
    The Old and New Covenants both say,
    Do This deed throughout every day,
    This to be done here on earth and above,
    Give Yahweh ALL your complete and best love.

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    OK, I think we’ve exceeded our quota of alter calls for this thread. Let’s get the discussion more or less back on topic.

  • J says:

    When I saw that this post had 54 comments, I was expecting some huge battle between Aggie/Kirrily/Mike and some random Weinland member. Instead, it’s a whole bunch of poetry. Color me surprised. 😀

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    Only thing we have like that going on here right now is Mal, but Mal is somewhat reserved.

    The real battles are going on on Citizen X’s old blog and Aaron Robinson’s new blog (excuse me, “blogg” 🙂 Some of the “thinking”, is … well, amazing.

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    Any word on the UCG street about the recent resignations?

  • Aggie says:

    Apparently the news hit Mike Bennett’s blog first, and Shadows had it next. Here’s my take on it; nothing on Otagosh as of yet (if ever). Nothing mentioned on any of Richard’s blogs, either.

    That’s all the news I’ve got.

  • Aggie says:

    For a limited time engagement, see the limericks thread on Ambassador Watch, just after the debut of Timeline II.