False Prophet Ronald Weinland

False Prophet Ronald Weinland spoke from Columbia MO today.  His elder Shawn Christal apparently has figured out how to pray properly for proper functioning of the Internets as there were none of the glitches experienced on past visits.  And we got to hear Speedy Sam stumble through the closing prayer.

Ron has done some plotting and planning to stretch things out.  Ron is still singing the same song about the 2nd trumpet that he was singing on Mike McConnell’s show just over a year ago — we might not have “nukular” explosions for another year, or even longer.  A number of 45-90 day periods since the first trumpet blew for the second time on Dec 14, 2008, and more to go.

The baptism ceremony has been modified so that it can be done mass production style.  Under the old ceremony, the inductee is pushed under the water by the officiating elder (Ron stays on the side of the pool) and then after coming back up the elder lays hand on the inductee and prays.

In order to allow 100 elders or so to baptize hundreds of thousands of people, or even millions, the baptism ceremony is modified.  One elder will be able to baptize dozens of people at once, as the inductees will immerse themselves as the elder calls out synchronized dunking.  After which, instead of providing individual attention by actually laying hands on the inductee during the prayer,  the elder will pray over the group and then have them walk by so he/she can tap them on the head.  Reminds me of my first day of military service.

Ron has reviewed the validity of baptisms performed in other groups outside of PKG.  According to his new rules, any baptism will be invalid which was performed by any other group after Pentecost of 1998 when the church was reorganized with Elijah-to-come Ron leading it.  The only groups performing valid baptisms before that date would be the United Church of God and the Global Church of God, and WCG prior to the abomination of desolation on Dec 17, 1994.  For those unfamiliar with these organizations, UCG was formed by ministers who left WCG after Tkach’s apostasy of 1994 and Weinland was in UCG until May of 1997.  Global CoG was formed by Rod Meredith prior to Tkach’s apostasy — Global is now defunct as it went down the tubes after Rod Meredith abandoned it and its debts in a power struggle taking most of the members with him into the Living CoG.  In a moment of irony, Weinland stated that Flurry’s Philadelphia CoG was invalid because it is headed by a false prophet.  Gee Ron, how do we know that what Flurry has prophesied is false?  Maybe it’s true, but just hasn’t happened yet, huh?

According to Ron, the book of Acts is not complete as it will need to be expanded to record events within PKG.  He said that the ranks of the elders would swell to 700 eventually as some of those baptized within WCG prior to the opening of the first seal on Dec 17, 1994 join Ron’s church.  People of that pedigree would be eligible to become elders.

It looks like Ron has mined out those with a doomer mindset that can be sucked in with an expensive Google Ads campaign, and is now looking to “the scattering” for fresh meat.  Ron, don’t count your chickens before they hatch.  I pointed out to my mother, who having been baptized in WCG well before 1994 is quite eligible, that she could be ordained an elder.  Her reaction was somewhat south of enthusiastic. Ron, not everyone is impressed by the signs and lying wonders of the Son of Perdition.

All this baptizing will be going on while the US conquered by the beast power, and Ron will be in Europe interceding with the beast to allow his followers to keep the sabbath. Next he’ll be calling himself Moses. “Let my people go!!” (Ron, let your people go.) I wonder if Ron’s exit will be advanced should the IRS put a case together soon.  Ron’s Witness powers are not to be used for trivial things like proving that he actually is a prophet of God.  But they can be used for issuing curses against mockers like myself for a speedy death.  Which I must have experienced shortly after he issued his sentence on me 64 weeks ago, because after all Ron is a true prophet of the God of Abraham.