False Prophet Ronald Weinland

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Detroit today instead of Windsor CT.  His Witness Powers to shut up the heavens hasn’t kicked in yet so he had to work with the double whammy of two blizzards.  And his Witness Power apparently don’t cover poison ivy or poison oak as he was suffering from either or both of them.  It seems that perfumes and colognes may be a problem as well since he yet again cautioned those coming to Cincinnati in two weeks to avoid using strong-smelling substances.

Ron did let on that he was oppressed by his supervising pastor when he was starting out in the ministry, and he fasted seeking relief.  I wonder if he was talking about Keith Walden when he was assigned to a circuit from Lubbock TX in 1982 or a couple of years later when he was assigned to Cincinnati under Bob League.

Ron prophesied with the Bible in one hand and the newspaper in the other, spending several minutes interpreting an article about the PIIGS of the European Union and the economic crisis with the Euro. Apparently this will result in the EU being trimmed to 10 nations to fit biblical prophesies. It’ll have to happen soon as Ron has set August of next year as a deadline for the 5th trumpet, when the European beast power occupies the United States.

Ron’s sermon was even more boring than last weeks. During the fall Ron raised expectations for last week’s sermon on the day of the annual excuse fast and end of the first half-a-revised-Time, and he’s broken yet another promise, made on November 28:

That’s why God has given so boldly that within the Church and we’re picking up and we’re going to come to some sermons close to the time of the fast that are going to have a big timeshift for us or a big change for some of the things taking place in the Church.

But I guess the ordination of women to elders could be regarded as a big change.  Nevertheless we’ll eventually have yet another timeshift.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland had planned to be in Hartford CT this coming weekend.  But the east coast has experienced an unusual blizzard and is expecting a repeat this week before the residue of the last one has cleared, so Ron canceled his Hartford trip as the necessary number of people to fill the small meeting room would not be able to travel the long distances to get there.

But he shouldn’t have had to do that.  According to Rev 11:6, which speaks of Ron and the Missus:

These have power to shut heaven, that it rain not in the days of their prophecy: and have power over waters to turn them to blood, and to smite the earth with all plagues, as often as they will.

These most formidable prophets could have used their witness powers to just stop the blizzard — instead they’ll have to sleep in the $381,000 home on the golf course an extra couple of nights.

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Cincinnati this weekend for, as Jack puts it, the annual excuse fast.  According to Ron, last year’s two-day fast was a historic event to be long remembered, as it induced God to show mercy by delaying the tribulation.  That’s his story and he’s sticking to it, with no mention of the prayed-for death and destruction that was to occur from an increase of the thunders.

Thunders which he now states are not his, and were put in the book to give people a hard time, to trip, to find fault, to stumble where they will.  But on page 111 of “2008 God’s Final Witness” Ron wrote “These thunders are largely a matter of my own choosing, which God has given to me since I am His spokesman and the one who will stand before Him to the whole world during this end-time…. All Seven Thunders are given as God’s proof that I am His end-time prophet.“  Ron insisted that everything in his book would happen, but the timing had changed.  But on page 4, he stated “The proof of the validity of my first book, and now this one, is in the timing and the destruction that follows, exactly as both books describe.“  So now the thunders are not his, but God’s and were given to trip up a few critics? Does anyone see the irony in the following statement from Ron’s sermon? “I can’t tell you how much I loathe and I hate the spirit of justification.” Dill Weed has lot’s more to say about this.

Several minutes before the end of the sermon, Ron went on a rant about the hypocrisy of government, exploiting young men sent off to war.  The rant morphed to “And this government is sick in those things.  They’d like to shut my mouth.  And they’re working hard on it.  They only do what God gives them to do.  And they’re going to hear that a whole lot more as we go forward when God gives greater power.” Sounds to me like the IRS criminal investigation is not going well from Ron’s point of view.  So 60 weeks into the Great Tribulation and he still doesn’t have his Witness powers? Hmmm.  Hopefully what God gave the IRS to do will shut him up.

Ron’s rant continued on, switching to his critics.  He addressed us directly, asking what we wanted to save for “the new age” that we don’t believe is coming, but hypothetically speaking.  For myself, a utopian millennium would NOT include prideful, self-justifying false prophets who exploit those silly enough to follow them.  He continued on, accusing his critics of twisting and distorting and stirring up dirt and mud.  Ron, if you think I’m twisting and distorting, be specific — what exactly?  As far as the “stirring up dirt and mud” bit, I think he’s just trying to establish a defense for his followers who find out about the well documented existence of the IRS criminal investigation.  Or perhaps what set Ron off was my pointing out that he is the Son of Perdition.

Weinland ended his sermon and rant with a promise that his critics are about to learn a harsh lesson.  Ron, is “about to” any sooner than my quick death from the inside you cursed me with 59 weeks ago?

False Prophet Ronald Weinland has updated his published itinerary to include a trip March 27 through April 6 to New Zealand and Australia for Passover and the Days of Unleavened Bread.

Given his usual pattern, we could expect a trip to Europe for Pentecost, another trip “down under” for the Feast of Tabernacles, and one or two more European trips late in the year.  I wonder if the tithes and offerings of the overseas members pay for the travel expenses for the Two Witnesses and whomever else they decide to bring along with them.

I also wonder if the Son of Perdition realizes that the statute of limitations clock stops ticking whenever he’s out of the country, giving IRS Criminal Investigation that much more time to build a case against him.