Weinland’s Toxicodendron

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Detroit today instead of Windsor CT.  His Witness Powers to shut up the heavens hasn’t kicked in yet so he had to work with the double whammy of two blizzards.  And his Witness Power apparently don’t cover poison ivy or poison oak as he was suffering from either or both of them.  It seems that perfumes and colognes may be a problem as well since he yet again cautioned those coming to Cincinnati in two weeks to avoid using strong-smelling substances.

Ron did let on that he was oppressed by his supervising pastor when he was starting out in the ministry, and he fasted seeking relief.  I wonder if he was talking about Keith Walden when he was assigned to a circuit from Lubbock TX in 1982 or a couple of years later when he was assigned to Cincinnati under Bob League.

Ron prophesied with the Bible in one hand and the newspaper in the other, spending several minutes interpreting an article about the PIIGS of the European Union and the economic crisis with the Euro. Apparently this will result in the EU being trimmed to 10 nations to fit biblical prophesies. It’ll have to happen soon as Ron has set August of next year as a deadline for the 5th trumpet, when the European beast power occupies the United States.

Ron’s sermon was even more boring than last weeks. During the fall Ron raised expectations for last week’s sermon on the day of the annual excuse fast and end of the first half-a-revised-Time, and he’s broken yet another promise, made on November 28:

That’s why God has given so boldly that within the Church and we’re picking up and we’re going to come to some sermons close to the time of the fast that are going to have a big timeshift for us or a big change for some of the things taking place in the Church.

But I guess the ordination of women to elders could be regarded as a big change.  Nevertheless we’ll eventually have yet another timeshift.

20 Comments

  • Whisper says:

    Still on about the evil European Empire ay what? Ah, European nations have history that spans back thousands of years, and Ron thinks they will just trim down to 10 nations obliterating some? Not bloody likely!
    August 2011 you say is the time by which the goose steping German Horde (leader of the Beast Continent) will finally dominate the US? Ron has never explained this at all, how is this to happen? Oh ya the non-explained first 4 trumpets will obliterate the USA… Ah hu…
    But of course Ron will come up with timeline 3.5 to solve that not happening.
    Rons promises back in 2007 still had the apsect of not being prooved yet, unlike his current one which are in response to his former very well being prooved… false.
    And yet some very few people follow him.
    Must be a personality thing as logic and physics do not seem to matter.
    Go figure?

  • jack635 says:

    a big change for some of the things taking place in the Church

    Like maybe inserting the word “Grace” into the COG-PKG title? The only thing Ron could do to make me think “a big change” took place, would be to apologise and stop preaching his “garbage”.

    He really should apologize to Jesus for saying He lied to the Pharisees when He said “I am He”.

  • Aggie says:

    “Ron did let on that he was oppressed by his supervising pastor when he was starting out in the ministry, and he fasted seeking relief. I wonder if he was talking about Keith Walden when he was assigned to a circuit from Lubbock TX in 1982 or a couple of years later when he was assigned to Cincinnati under Bob League.”

    My money’s on it being League Weinland is obliquely referring to here. According to an anonymous commenter on the now-defunct Ambassador Watch, League has been described by ex-members as “a tyrant and a ranting dictator, with everything based on the congregation’s submission to ministerial authority (i.e., League)”.

  • Aggie says:

    “And his Witness Power apparently don’t cover poison ivy or poison oak as he was suffering from either or both of them.”

    I ask again, WHAT has the Witless Wonder been DOING?

  • Atrocious says:

    HOW can he get poison ivy or poison oak in the middle of winter in Cincinnati, or even Detroit? He wasn’t out gardening or pulling weeds. Did he go hunting or something and have to do ‘you know what’ and squat down on some of the poison stuff? Too funny. Sounds like he’s not receiving ANY type of protection or powers. Guess he’s totally on his own. ‘Course we knew that!

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    According to Ron, he was working on his wood pile which must have previously been contaminated with oils from the live plant.

    Until he finally gets his witness powers, next time he could avoid the risk by having one of his followers come and restack the wood. 😀

  • Dill Weed says:

    He tried to pull the Dill Weed. : P

    Dill Weed

  • Aggie says:

    “Working on his woodpile?” A luxury executive estate on a freakin’ golf course, and THEY DON’T HAVE CENTRAL HEAT??

    Pull the other, Rotten Ronnie!

  • Aggie says:

    Protip: If you say you’re “working on your woodpile”, make sure it looks like you HAVE a home that’s powered with wood-heat; no woodstove chimney on that “hovel of humility” that I can see…..

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    Why does Ronnie need either (Wood or central heat)? He can just breath fire, right? 😀

    But prob’ly the other witness doesn’t appreciate the singed walls and furniture. 😀

  • Atrocious says:

    Or…why not just say to themselves or the interior of the house, “Be WARM!” and they are warm? Why would they have to rely on other sources of heat since they have all these “powers” at their disposal? Or…why doesn’t he just command the rash away with a “Be HEALED!” command? Oh, I guess that doesn’t work either. And…about the snow keeping them from their intended destination…why not breathe fire on it, melting it so it doesn’t hinder their progress? Power? What power?

    Mike, I have a feeling you are going to be living a good many years and probably die of old age.

  • Xer says:

    Working on his woodpile!

  • Mal says:

    Referring to your comment “Ron’s sermon was even more boring than last weeks”. I wondered if I listened to the same sermon as I didn’t find it boring in the least. I’m not a member of his church and, regardless of whether he’s a false prophet or not, I found it to be a Godly sermon with good Biblical references and Ron spoke a lot of sense about the importance of restoring families.

    Definitely not boring in my book. The devil has wreaked havoc with families and we so need the healing power of Jesus Christ throughout this world. A good subject from Ron this past couple of weeks.

  • GD says:

    some of his sermons contain biblical references that he twists to fit in with his lies-with regard to restoring families -all i have heard is the families that he and the PKG have caused to split up with their outrageous beliefs-they think they are a special Elohim family and Ron is their leader -He encourages his sheeple to cut contacts with friends and family who are not their Bretheren as his banning of facebook proves.

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    “The devil has wreaked havoc with families …”

    Yes, Weinland is devilish. He is the one breaking up families.

    What GD said.

  • Whisper says:

    Ron uses biblical prinicals indeed, but will twist any one of them without hesitation if it will further a goal of his. There in lies the problem with ol Ron, even if he quotes a biblical verse perfectly he will more than simply likely use it to further another of his own principals or desires by twisting it to fit. Even if he does not do this immediatly, he will do it later. This is what makes anything that comes out of his mouth circumspect. As he has told oh so many lies already it is hard to even grasp the concept of Ron ever just flat out, with no personal gain to be had, tell the truth.
    His whole life is a lie twisted out the truths. It’s just plane sad. And for add insult to injury he is way to far gone to even realize it as his ego is so very huge that he can not bear to do anything that might harm his belief system of Ron, Ron and more Ron. It’s all about the Ron. How Ron is the chosen, how Ron is the speaker for God, how Ron is the Witness, how Ron is the Apostle, how Ron is the J-miah man to come… Ron, Ron, Ron… It’s all about Ron and he has found a book people believe in to slowly and carefully insert his name into that book and get people to put down the book and listen to only Ron.

    Go figure?

  • Thorum says:

    I want so much to trash Ron but to trash Whisper is much easier:

    “prinicals, there in, ol, principals, immediatly, plane, and for add, way to far…”

    Whisper, you make it really difficult to take you seriously…

  • Whisper says:

    Ya, serious spelling at work on the fly while answering oh so many questions is my Achilles-Heal so to speak.
    I really should pay more attention but multi-tasking takes it’s toll 🙂

    No need to take me serious, for I am but a internet name with text attached.
    Be sure to not take Ron seriously as well as me! 🙂

  • angel says:

    LOL! I too, can’t help but notice spelling bloopers; sometimes it’s like nails on a chalkboard – but this brought to mind a website that used to be hosted by a false prophet who believed he was the Messiah. Although this man’s teachings were like something out of the Twilight Zone, he was very intelligent and expressed himself very well. He was extremely eloquent; and whether he was ranting against everything from the government to evil mankind, or speaking tenderly to his followers, it was clear that putting down his thoughts on paper (or cyberspace) was something he enjoyed and was good at. And he was a great speller!

    So while I can empathize with Thorum, I try to keep it in perspective.

    I have to agree with Mike about Ron’s sermons; I find them the epitome of boring. I used to try to listen but I could not for the life of me stay focused; I’d end up having to go back to hear what I’d missed, and it wasn’t any more interesting the second time. Since I didn’t agree with most of what he said anyway, it was difficult to listen; I would have been annoyed, for example, to hear him talk about restoring families after reading the posts of so many people whose lives have been affected and families torn apart because of him. For all I know, maybe the real reason he’s concerned about families splitting up is that it’s harder for the now divorced or separated member to pay him tithes. For a believer to leave an unbelieving spouse is certainly not biblical; yet so often that is what we hear is happening.

    It’s interesting to hear someone say they’re not a member of Ron’s church but they like his sermons, because the reality is that Ron would not invite a non-member to hear a sermon in person. Ron does not consider them part of God’s “true church”. Ron does not tolerate a “wait and see” attitude. Ron would disfellowship a member who openly stated they don’t know if he’s a false prophet or not. It reminds me of how the Pharisees would pull their robes aside so as to not brush up against sinners and defile themselves; there’s no heart for the lost, only judgment.

  • Kirrily XPKG says:

    “..Ron would not invite a non-member to hear a sermon in person..”

    Ah yes, so very true.

    Because my husband was ‘not against’ me, he would have been allowed to attend “one or two” sermons if he wished, but no more than that. (But he would only be allowed to begin with because he is my husband).

    COG-PKG is not only responsible for the break-up of families in some circumstances, but also friendships. I still miss my 2 Queensland friends who (I believe) are still in Ron’s group. They are NOT allowed to talk with me at all. If they did, they would be disfellowshipped if they did not repent from their disobedience.

    After all, I am with Satan now (yeah right) LOL.