Archive for February 14th, 2010

Weinland’s Toxicodendron

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Detroit today instead of Windsor CT.  His Witness Powers to shut up the heavens hasn’t kicked in yet so he had to work with the double whammy of two blizzards.  And his Witness Power apparently don’t cover poison ivy or poison oak as he was suffering from either or both of them.  It seems that perfumes and colognes may be a problem as well since he yet again cautioned those coming to Cincinnati in two weeks to avoid using strong-smelling substances.

Ron did let on that he was oppressed by his supervising pastor when he was starting out in the ministry, and he fasted seeking relief.  I wonder if he was talking about Keith Walden when he was assigned to a circuit from Lubbock TX in 1982 or a couple of years later when he was assigned to Cincinnati under Bob League.

Ron prophesied with the Bible in one hand and the newspaper in the other, spending several minutes interpreting an article about the PIIGS of the European Union and the economic crisis with the Euro. Apparently this will result in the EU being trimmed to 10 nations to fit biblical prophesies. It’ll have to happen soon as Ron has set August of next year as a deadline for the 5th trumpet, when the European beast power occupies the United States.

Ron’s sermon was even more boring than last weeks. During the fall Ron raised expectations for last week’s sermon on the day of the annual excuse fast and end of the first half-a-revised-Time, and he’s broken yet another promise, made on November 28:

That’s why God has given so boldly that within the Church and we’re picking up and we’re going to come to some sermons close to the time of the fast that are going to have a big timeshift for us or a big change for some of the things taking place in the Church.

But I guess the ordination of women to elders could be regarded as a big change.  Nevertheless we’ll eventually have yet another timeshift.