Archive for February, 2010

A Plague of Butts

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

hotelFalse Prophet Ronald Weinland is in Cincinnati this weekend. The formaldehyde fumes from the new carpet came close to shutting down the services, yesterday.  Which would have been relief from yet another boring sermon.  Ron went on one of his rants against those who throw paper towels on the floor in bathrooms, adding on those who throw cigarette butts on the street.  Perhaps he now regards being a litterer as worse than being a mocker.  When it came time for him to rant against his mockers, he just made a vague reference about lying websites which criticize his now demoted spiritual idol, Herbert Armstrong.  Ron asks why are there websites critical of HWA 24 years after his death?  What I’d like to know is: why is that incestuous lying con man and false prophet is still revered 24 years after his death?

atriumThis weekend is the training session for all the new elders.  I thought it would be nice for all the PKG members who were not able to attend to be able to see the location for this conference.

This hotel has a nice atrium which can also be used as an area to serve meals, such as the buffet which the new elders participated in after the riff raff was chased out at 12:30.  I wonder which catering options (200KB PDF File)starting at $17+service charge + tax they chose.

More photos below the fold.  Thanks to the elder who let me know where they are meeting this weekend.

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Gaoled Geek Greg

Friday, February 26th, 2010

Information has reached me that Greg, an elder who went on Ron’s payroll early in 2008, has been put in jail for non-payment of child support.  Greg gave up a well paying job to manage Ron’s computer systems,  and it seems that didn’t set very well with Greg’s wife who doesn’t drink Ron’s Flavor Aid, hence the child support.  I wonder how difficult Greg’s job can be, particularly since Ron has cut way back on Google advertising.  My impression was that Jeremy was the one who from Germany manages the church websites hosted in Switzerland.

Ron talks big on family.  I wonder if he pays Greg enough to cover his living expenses including child support for his children.  Seems that he wasn’t paying Wayne Matthews that much besides all the Flavor Aid he could drink, as Wayne was looking for a job to replace that which he gave up just before the first great tribulation.  I wonder if Jeremy is on the church payroll, as he has enough money to be able to travel overseas for personal pleasure.

From other accounts, Greg is a well-mannered young man who deals with adversity with equanimity, adversity of the type that gets Ron hot under the collar.  But Greg appears to be caught between a False Prophet and a hard place.  With Greg out of the picture, who will train all the new elders on how to use the Elders Management Console program?  Who will set them up with church email addresses?  How will they be prepared to deal with the 100s and 1000s each will have to manage when the trumpets finally sound?  Or has Ron bailed him out of jail so he could take care of all the new elders this weekend?  Inquiring minds want to know.

The Last Feast

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010

Back in June of 2006, False Prophet Ronald Weinland announced that he would not be planning for feast observances beginning in 2008, and that 2007 would be the last organized Feast of Tabernacles for the Church of God – PKG.  The Great Tribulation was to begin early in 2008.

The main site for the 2007 feast observance by PKG was in Lexington, Kentucky with a few scattered groups gathering in remote locations such as New Zealand and Australia.  A number of overseas members including Wayne Matthews and others from Australia and Europe traveled to Lexington to attend.  Weinland later described the numbers attending the 2007 PKG Feast as:

You know, last year, at the Feast, if you counted everybody, maybe even some dogs and cats, uh, maybe 450. Total. Worldwide.

The picture below was taken in the meeting room in Lexington.

Church of God PKG 2007 Feast of Tabernacles, Ronald and Laura Weinland

Church of God PKG 2007 Feast of Tabernacles

This picture shows both of the Two Witnesses schmoozing their flock.  I wonder what the topic of conversation was between the Silent Witness ( in the red blouse and dark skirt on the right) and the young man.

It turns out that 2007 was not the last organized feast for PKG.  For both 2008 and 2009, PKG met for the first day and the last 4 days in most locations.  And this year’s feast, over halfway into the original pre-revision 1260-day Great Tribulation, and almost a Time and a half-Time into his current shortened 980-day Great Tribulation, is to be observed for the full 8 days.

As will be the 2012 Feast of Tabernacles, unless something non-spiritual intervenes, such as Ron being sent to prison.  But that would turn out to be spiritual too.  After all, some of the apostles went to jail, and Ron is an apostle too, among other things.

It’s Not Going to be a Picnic in the Future

Saturday, February 20th, 2010

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Richmond VA today.  His regional elder Dave Conley gave the opening prayer and Ron again imported Ralph Dowd from Cincinnati to give the closing.

Ron has put up a few of his older sermons relating to his first multi-colored booklet Time is Running Out.  He also repeated his promise to put up his old Newswatch issues from 1998 through 2002.  But you don’t have to wait any longer, as I have the complete collection of Newswatch in text-searchable PDFs (follow this link and scroll to the bottom of the page).

Ron has posted plans to travel to Australia and New Zealand for Passover and the Days of Unleavened Bread.  It’s curious that he mentioned these holy days but did not mention the trips.  He also has posted plans to go to Europe as usual for Pentecost this year.  I wonder if the IRS is closing in on Ron and whether one of these trips will be a little bit longer than usual :-D

Ron spent a good part of the sermon dangling carrots.  All the new people who would be coming into the church and the hundreds and thousands each could help into the new age.  His sermon was personally useful as it put me to sleep for a much-needed nap.

But not the permanent nap with which he cursed me 61 weeks ago.

Broken Pitchers

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

elder_houseAl, who is one of False Prophet Ronald Weinland’s Cincinnati area elders, is undergoing a personal great tribulation.  He is currently being sued twice — one of the lawsuits is for a foreclosure against his business property.  His 18-year-old business owns a co-located vehicle body repair shop with a house usable as an office which is on the market for $269,900.  Hopefully he will be able to close a sale on it before the judge bangs his gavel and sends the sheriff to put him on the street.

During the fall of 2007, Weinland asked his members to show Total Resolve for his prophecies.  In his November 3, 2007 sermon, Weinland mentioned his own $381,000 house and stated:

And I think of all that equity in there, it’s not going to serve anybody any good whatsoever.  Serve the church in a very powerful way.  The more we can do as a group, those of us who are running down together, those of us who are part of the 144000.   If we have the means and the ability …  Don’t do it right now either.  Someone asked me this last week here, “If I withdraw a certain amount right now, I’m going to be penalized, by taxes and so forth.”  But see when January or February come around you’re not going to be penalized. (snorts) The following year you don’t have to worry about it too much, do you?

Al is old enough to have a WCG background and would thus being eligible in 2008 to be sealed (Feb 2) and resealed (Sept 30)  as part of the 144,000. Weinland often mentioned the example of Gideon and his army of 300 that sneaked up on the Midianite camp and defeated them, and described them as “running down the hill” (which they didn’t do, they crept quietly) and “breaking their pitchers” as a metaphor for what his members were to do, by cashing in their 401Ks and the equity in their homes.  Since the US was going to be down the tubes by 2009, not even being able to inaugurate a new president, the IRS wouldn’t be around to collect taxes.  Too bad for Weinland that the IRS is not cooperating with his prophecy even through they probably know all about it.

In his May 3, 2008 sermon, Weinland stated:

So if anyone who gave above and beyond – I just want to add this too, so you can examine your place and what you did.  Because I know how the human mind is, I know that some gave offerings that aren’t normal.  I hope that if there are some that are regretting that, having second doubts about that, I want to say something right now, real clear to you.  Ok .  I’ll return it.  Those of you who have given 10 thousand, 20 thousand, 50 thousand, 80 thousand, 100 thousand, and more because there are those of you who fit in those categories. Above and beyond normal tithes and offerings. But you need to let me know before Pentecost. Thought I’d give a week, I thought “no” I’ll just say it “’til Pentecost”.    Otherwise, to understand,  you are saying that you’re in full agreement of those monies being used fully to whatever I deem necessary.  Because we’re going to continue moving forward, putting everything into what we’re doing.

In a later sermon, he stated that the only request came for refund of tithes and offerings from an ex-member.  At another point in the 5/3/08 sermon:

We hit over a million dollars at one point. But we’re way below that right now. We’re not there any longer because of all the monies we’re throwing into Google, and everything else we’ve been doing. But for a small group like us to be able to do something like this, like we’ve been able to do on the Internet, to be out there, for people to be able to do a search and here we pop up, being this small?

And yet at another point in his May 3, 2008 sermon:

So if you didn’t believe that you have any mortgage payments after April the 17th, or you didn’t have to pay off your credit card, then you made a mistake! You know. You can’t blame me! I don’t know how long some of this is going to take place. Live life wisely.

elder_garageThis statement was only a few weeks after prophesying “nukular” explosions within 45 to 90 days after April 17, 2008.  Indicators are that Weinland did not throw down his own pitcher as did his members–he’s still paying the property tax on his $381,000 house directly to the county instead of through a mortgage company.  I expect that if he’d refinanced the equity from his house that the mortgage company would require him to pay into escrow.

Weinland, as he often does, has shifted all of the blame to the member for whatever happens to them as a result of throwing down their pitcher.  So I wonder how expensive the pitcher was that this elder threw down to light the torch of Google advertising for Ron’s fictional book “2008 God’s Final Witness”.   It’s sad that he’s losing this modest family business which was also the employment for another of Weinland’s elders, Tom, who has the same last name.  While Weinland blames the economy, and I expect that played a role in this situation, I also expect that pitcher-breaking also had a lot to do with it.  I wonder how many other PKG members are similarly suffering, but I doubt that Ron and Laura are among them.

Ron, when you respond to this by accusing me of lying, twisting and distorting, be specific.  Be very specific.  And no twisting and distorting of your own.

Weinland’s Toxicodendron

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Detroit today instead of Windsor CT.  His Witness Powers to shut up the heavens hasn’t kicked in yet so he had to work with the double whammy of two blizzards.  And his Witness Power apparently don’t cover poison ivy or poison oak as he was suffering from either or both of them.  It seems that perfumes and colognes may be a problem as well since he yet again cautioned those coming to Cincinnati in two weeks to avoid using strong-smelling substances.

Ron did let on that he was oppressed by his supervising pastor when he was starting out in the ministry, and he fasted seeking relief.  I wonder if he was talking about Keith Walden when he was assigned to a circuit from Lubbock TX in 1982 or a couple of years later when he was assigned to Cincinnati under Bob League.

Ron prophesied with the Bible in one hand and the newspaper in the other, spending several minutes interpreting an article about the PIIGS of the European Union and the economic crisis with the Euro. Apparently this will result in the EU being trimmed to 10 nations to fit biblical prophesies. It’ll have to happen soon as Ron has set August of next year as a deadline for the 5th trumpet, when the European beast power occupies the United States.

Ron’s sermon was even more boring than last weeks. During the fall Ron raised expectations for last week’s sermon on the day of the annual excuse fast and end of the first half-a-revised-Time, and he’s broken yet another promise, made on November 28:

That’s why God has given so boldly that within the Church and we’re picking up and we’re going to come to some sermons close to the time of the fast that are going to have a big timeshift for us or a big change for some of the things taking place in the Church.

But I guess the ordination of women to elders could be regarded as a big change.  Nevertheless we’ll eventually have yet another timeshift.

Weinland Vs the Snowpocalypse

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

False Prophet Ronald Weinland had planned to be in Hartford CT this coming weekend.  But the east coast has experienced an unusual blizzard and is expecting a repeat this week before the residue of the last one has cleared, so Ron canceled his Hartford trip as the necessary number of people to fill the small meeting room would not be able to travel the long distances to get there.

But he shouldn’t have had to do that.  According to Rev 11:6, which speaks of Ron and the Missus:

These have power to shut heaven, that it rain not in the days of their prophecy: and have power over waters to turn them to blood, and to smite the earth with all plagues, as often as they will.

These most formidable prophets could have used their witness powers to just stop the blizzard — instead they’ll have to sleep in the $381,000 home on the golf course an extra couple of nights.

Weinland’s Capricious God

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Cincinnati this weekend for, as Jack puts it, the annual excuse fast.  According to Ron, last year’s two-day fast was a historic event to be long remembered, as it induced God to show mercy by delaying the tribulation.  That’s his story and he’s sticking to it, with no mention of the prayed-for death and destruction that was to occur from an increase of the thunders.

Thunders which he now states are not his, and were put in the book to give people a hard time, to trip, to find fault, to stumble where they will.  But on page 111 of “2008 God’s Final Witness” Ron wrote “These thunders are largely a matter of my own choosing, which God has given to me since I am His spokesman and the one who will stand before Him to the whole world during this end-time…. All Seven Thunders are given as God’s proof that I am His end-time prophet.”  Ron insisted that everything in his book would happen, but the timing had changed.  But on page 4, he stated “The proof of the validity of my first book, and now this one, is in the timing and the destruction that follows, exactly as both books describe.”  So now the thunders are not his, but God’s and were given to trip up a few critics? Does anyone see the irony in the following statement from Ron’s sermon? “I can’t tell you how much I loathe and I hate the spirit of justification.” Dill Weed has lot’s more to say about this.

Several minutes before the end of the sermon, Ron went on a rant about the hypocrisy of government, exploiting young men sent off to war.  The rant morphed to “And this government is sick in those things.  They’d like to shut my mouth.  And they’re working hard on it.  They only do what God gives them to do.  And they’re going to hear that a whole lot more as we go forward when God gives greater power.” Sounds to me like the IRS criminal investigation is not going well from Ron’s point of view.  So 60 weeks into the Great Tribulation and he still doesn’t have his Witness powers? Hmmm.  Hopefully what God gave the IRS to do will shut him up.

Ron’s rant continued on, switching to his critics.  He addressed us directly, asking what we wanted to save for “the new age” that we don’t believe is coming, but hypothetically speaking.  For myself, a utopian millennium would NOT include prideful, self-justifying false prophets who exploit those silly enough to follow them.  He continued on, accusing his critics of twisting and distorting and stirring up dirt and mud.  Ron, if you think I’m twisting and distorting, be specific — what exactly?  As far as the “stirring up dirt and mud” bit, I think he’s just trying to establish a defense for his followers who find out about the well documented existence of the IRS criminal investigation.  Or perhaps what set Ron off was my pointing out that he is the Son of Perdition.

Weinland ended his sermon and rant with a promise that his critics are about to learn a harsh lesson.  Ron, is “about to” any sooner than my quick death from the inside you cursed me with 59 weeks ago?