Come Back Up

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Minneapolis today, where things were moving slowly.  It was cold, and Ron was several minutes late getting the Internet streaming audio feed rolling.  Fewer traveled long distances than normal: a few from North Dakota and his elder Leonard McGlynn from Winnipeg, but no one from Wisconsin attended.

A few announcements.  Two-year-old Kenny’s open-heart surgery went well.  While in Dallas last weekend, he ordained Dave, Glen, Charles Blummer, Vera, and Peggy as associate elders.  It seems that Ron doesn’t truly appreciate my publishing the elders’ names as he claimed three weeks ago, since again he didn’t give any last names.

He spent several minutes reading an email clarifying his policy on attendance at his service.  One must be approved in order to regularly gather with other members to attend services.  (And to get approval, one must be paying tithes.)  However, close family members and even close friends may attend as a guest for a few times if not hostile to God’s prophet and one true church.

This was the last sermon of his Ordinations and Baptisms series.  Ron continued to dangle the carrot of the millions of people who will join PKG.  He related an anecdote of people being baptized would need to be reminded to “come back up”, as he remains high and dry on the side of the pool.  I would ask that all PKG members come back up out of the quagmire that is PKG.

This weekend is 121 weeks from the non-return of Jesus Christ on Pentecost of 2012.  It’s also 52 weeks since the unusual 2-day fast last year to pray for destruction and death from an increase in the thunders.  Next weekend is a 1-day fast and it is expected that the sermon will be less boring as the Son of Perdition reveals new signs and/or lying wonders while in Cincinnati.

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9 Comments

  • JB says:

    I guess the phone lines will be buzzing with all the millions of lost souls calling for approval to attend services and be baptized. Hope all these new elders have lots of good books to read!! RW must be getting really excited thinking of ways to spend all the new tithes from these millions.

  • jack635 says:

    All other cog leaders must bow down to ron and turn over their tithing members to Ron, so Ron can show all of us the way.

  • Whisper says:

    Ron who? If many a trumpet sounded and many a people died and many a city crumbled where would the people of this Earth learn of Ron and his tiny sliver of WCG, which at it’s greatest was another sliver of Christianity?
    How would anyone know of Ron or his cult?
    It would seem that the ordainations are merely a ploy of Rons to tie those that already believe him even closer to him…
    There are no millions, there are no hundreds of thouseands, there are no tens of thousands… there is only Ron and his current cult. No way to increase the cult beyond its current parameter.
    Ron the leader of millions? Rather disturbing thought…
    But like all the horror movies ever made, they are mere fictitious interludes of entertainment… kind of like ol Ron. 🙂

  • Dennis says:

    Had an ice storm so listened to RW sermon yesterday . I have to say the man is not a very good speaker. All his sermons sound the same and he has to be winging it as there seems no hint of a point that does not wander all over creation for 90+ minutes. If he is one of the Two Witnesses, he’s a real yawner of a speaker. It seems, and having been WCG min. for decades, that Ron has never read a book on the theology outside of his own inflated views as a Bible reader not thinker. I think if any God meant to communicate the most important of information to humans who had to totally get it right or miss out on this or that, he’d do it himself , in person and not speak through boring generalists who spend more time telling the faithful what “we all know in God’s church” when they know precious little about the origins, context or history of the Book. At best, pious conviction with marginal information and at worst, chicanery. At any rate, his sermons are real yawners

  • Aggie says:

    “WCG, which at it’s greatest was another sliver of Christianity”

    Yeeeeeah, NO.

    At its “greatest”, we were closest in scope to what is known today by the term Messianic Judaism, by way of the Seventh-Day Adventists. With a little bit of Mormonism and Quakerism thrown in, for good measure.

    All in all, the little ad-man from Detroit did make up a fairly interesting-tasting soup, I will give him that.

  • Whisper says:

    Aggie

    How do you figure the WCG, in its hey day, was not even a mere sliver of Christianity?
    I understand your descriptions of Messianic Judaism by way of the 7-day Adventists, but the WCG did proclaim God in the highest and Jesus as the son of God did it not?
    That would make it Christian in nature. Of the numbers of Christians in the world, when the WCG hit its high-water mark, the WCG was a minor player, a mere “sliver” if you will, of that cake.
    I would think the 7-dayers, the Mormons, and the Quakers are all Christians for believing in God and Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior?
    My point being that the WCG was a mere trinket in the full regalia of Christianity and Rons PKG is a mere twinkle of a trinket… almost a nothing in the game of numbers.

    🙂

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    I’m going to have to go with Whisper on this point. I would consider Messianic Jews to be Christians if they claim to believe in the divinity of Christ.

  • Karen Mustard says:

    Yeah I’m with Mike on the Messianic Jews point.
    *Also* Ron couldn’t schedule a 2 day fast on Super Bowl Sunday! That used to be one of the biggest day in the WCG!

  • Aggie says:

    “That would make it Christian in nature. Of the numbers of Christians in the world, when the WCG hit its high-water mark, the WCG was a minor player, a mere “sliver” if you will, of that cake.”

    Eh, we (ex-members) have had this discussion before. I think it all depends on whether or not one has had exposure to Christianity as well as Armstrongism, or if they haven’t. Obviously, I fall in the latter category. As I’ve said before and elsewhere, when I was in, and whenever I was asked, “Are you a Christian?” I always felt uncomfortable. Not because I didn’t think I was a Christian, obviously, I thought I was part of “the firstfruits” who were “the only true Christians”; but the questioner nearly always meant it in the context of Sunday-keeping, trinitarian-believing, bible-beating Christians, which I very viscerally identified myself as the exact OPPOSITE of.

    So, in one sense, while we SAID we were “the only true ‘Christians’, we really had little to nothing to do with actually ‘Christianity’ at all. Neither our theology nor our practices were in any way, recognizably ‘Christian’, with the exception of the practices that have survived the church as Messianic Judaism. (Which is up for debate as to whether or not it’s ‘Christian’ too, BTW, on both sides.)

    I do believe this viewpoint all depends on whether or not one has had any exposure to Christianity; where I didn’t, I do believe very strongly that there are literally no parallels (from what I can see) between ‘pagan professing Christianity’ (as the church used to put it), and the ‘firstfruits of God/only true Christians’ that Armstrongism claims to be. (Still, to this day, LCG and even parts of UCG claims this, as do any number of the 700+ splinter groups.)