Comments on: The Logic of Wayne’s World

By: Matt

Matt — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:43:07 +0000

Sounds like a good deal – count me in. I am spiritually on the way to the bank as I type this. I feel more blessed already.

By: Whisper

Whisper — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:59:20 +0000

Wayne? Accurate?
I had rather just assumed that those two words would not propagate the same sentance without first adding a “Un-” before the 2nd word…

Wayne accurate?
That will take some time to get used to… even a superficial “accurate” is a somewhat daunting tact to take when dealing with a heirarchy member of Ron’s cult.

By: Mike (DDTFA)

Mike (DDTFA) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:23:02 +0000

The bit about the size of Queensland relative to the size of Texas was put out by Wayne. And it’s about the most accurate thing he said in the whole sermon

By: Queenslander

Queenslander — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:33:13 +0000

Can we just clarify that Queensland is larger than Texas in area, not population. The population of Texas alone is higher than the whole of Australia. Also, by Wikipedia area figures Queensland is only 2.6 times as large as Texas.

By: AggieAtheist

AggieAtheist — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:13:41 +0000

LOL Mark — you’re channelling Spanky there, not Witless Weinland. Are you cribbing from Meredith’s “I disfellowshipped and marked you thirty years ago, and BY THE ALMIGHTY CREATOR I WILL DISFELLOWSHIP AND MARK YOU TODAY TOO!” co-jerker letter he sent around last year? (I forget who it was Spanky was gunning for, at the time: ISTR it was Wild Willie.)

By: Mark

Mark — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:01:18 +0000

“Plus, I can create Tsunami’s in the bathtub…. can I at least be an Elder?”

I anoint you in my Far Reaching Church of God. You now have the authority to marry and bury. If you must disfellowship, please do it so that it doesn’t interfere with the squawking from my wife OK? Since you have left my flock (the first publicly I might add and must admit), you are doubly marked. Do you think that God is not mocked by your insubordination to my authority from the God who gave me the revelation to write the book 2008? Who do you think you are to question God who lied to me about the predictions I made? Isn’t God a liar? Why can’t you believe my God who lies to you? If you can’t believe me, then you should believe my Book- 2008: God’s Final Witness. EVERYTHING that was said in that book (except for me admitting I am a false witness) has COME TRUE! You have no EARS! I speak to only the people who want to believe me. You don’t understand! My prophecies are true**!

**My theological underpinnings are not based on the Holy Bible. I do not have any theological training that would point me to understand the scriptures. I indeed rely on my own logic and sense of grandiosity as was revealed in 2006 when I wrote this book. I realize that God doesn’t think of me as his “prophet” but I continue in the hopes that you will support me until I can move to Europe with a bank account large enough to withstand retirement. Thanks!

By: Kirrily XPKG

Kirrily XPKG — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:50:24 +0000

What about just pure unadulterated mocking ability? Plus, I can create Tsunami’s in the bathtub…. can I at least be an Elder? A sherriffing one perhaps? Can I also get to do the disfellowshipping?

By: Mike (DDTFA)

Mike (DDTFA) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:51:30 +0000

Yeah Aggie, I noticed the news article. ‘Bout as close to the 6th thunder as Ron’s going to get

It is about time for Ron to write another book. “2008 GFW” is getting rather stale, and putting ’2012′ in the title of a new book would garner more interest.

Questions about the NFACoG:

How long will I have to be a member before I get a place in the heavenly host? No waiting, just as soon as I get my tithes.

Will you develop superpowers, and will they incude fire breathing and Smiting with Plagues? Absolutely!!!
If so, will you do Smitings on request? For the right price.

Will you convince me that I am one of the super-special Chosen People, who are the only ones that are Right and the ones that god cares about more than anyone? Depends. How gullible are you?

Will your timeline for the end-times feature exciting and impressive disasters and wars? Yes. But always 5 years into the future.
Will you take suggestions for events into consideration? God will consider any ideas.
Do early joiners get special considerations for positions within the church? Seniority counts.
If so, is the position of Chief Toady or Executive Officer in charge of Brown-Nosing still open? I plan to have multiple positions. Seniority counts, but so do contributions.

Will Mrs Mike sit in the front during sermons and cackle hideously at every poor attempt at a joke? Currently, there is no Mrs. Mike. Will consider any cute young things as a possible candidate for the Silent Witness and Prophetess over the rest of the church position. But cackling is a deal breaker.
If so, how much extra tithe do we need to gather to make her stop? On second thought, cackling will not be a deal breaker to become silent witness. Silence of 2nd witness varies with tithe income.