The Logic of Wayne’s World
Wayne Matthews
On October 7, Evangelist/Deputy Sheriff Wayne Matthews gave the daily feast sermon in Rye, Victoria, Australia (near Melbourne). (MP3 Download, right-click then save-as, or download Oct 7 sermon from this page) . Wayne did not let on as to whether or not he’s found employment to replace that which he gave up early in 2008 to become one of Weinland’s hand-picked evangelists. After all, back then it didn’t matter since no one would have jobs within a few months anyway.
Wayne talked about the tremendous growth of PKG in Australia since the 4 or 5 who were members several years ago. He probably is referring to Peter Kay and his wife (since deceased) and Peter’s daughter Sharon and a couple of others. I get the sense that there are several times that number in Australia now but probably not more than the 3 dozen or so members of this time last year. Of the various provinces, there are only 4 members in Queensland (which is 5 times the size of Texas) which is fewer than last year, and still none from South Australia.
Beginning around 25 minutes into the sermon MP3 file, Wayne goes into a comedy routine. First he proves that the Church of God – PKG is the true church because (1) it has “Church of God” in its name and (2) it has either an apostle or a prophet, well actually two prophets. Flurry would qualify except that he rebelled against Joe Tkach — but somehow it was OK when Ron rebelled against Joe just a few years later.
He followed this “logic” by discussing the illogic of astrologers and soothsayers, and then described an episode of “Deal or No Deal” in which none of the astrologer/soothsayer contestants got it right, when some of them should have got it right just by chance.
Let’s compare that to Ron Weinland who has prophesied many things, of which only one has come true (sort of) — the economy. Never mind that he’s prophesied the imminent collapse of the economy for years, and the economy while suffering has not collapsed.
Let me offer that my church is the true church. The No Flavor Aid Church of God has “God” in its name, it’s led by a prophet (yours truly) whose prophecy actually came true, and who did not rebel against Joe Tkach. This prophet has revealed new truth, which is that your living expenses (food, clothing, shelter, transportation, and medical) are not regarded as “increase” and are not subject to tithing. But your disposable income is subject to tithing, so send it in. 
Wayne is scheduled to deliver the weekly sermon this coming Saturday. I wonder if he’ll deliver more gems such as this one or if he’ll deliver yet more “different thinking” as he did during the Days of Unleavened Bread.
Tags: Wayne Matthews
I’l join, and I will send you the disposable income in spiritual dollars – since spiritual events are just as good as detectable ones, this should do nicely – if you can offer a better deal. A few questions regarding the NFACOG:
How long will I have to be a member before I get a place in the heavenly host?
Will you develop superpowers, and will they incude fire breathing and Smiting with Plagues? If so, will you do Smitings on request?
Will you convince me that I am one of the super-special Chosen People, who are the only ones that are Right and the ones that god cares about more than anyone?
Will your timeline for the end-times feature exciting and impressive disasters and wars? Will you take suggestions for events into consideration?
Do early joiners get special considerations for positions within the church? If so, is the position of Chief Toady or Executive Officer in charge of Brown-Nosing still open?
Will Mrs Mike sit in the front during sermons and cackle hideously at every poor attempt at a joke? If so, how much extra tithe do we need to gather to make her stop?
Will your website feature a picture of you attempting to look wise and enlightened, and in fact achieving the look of someone on an all-cheese diet?
I await your answers with baited breath!
Stories like this just make me angry. Angry that things like this can be said by ministers, and no one bats an eyelid. I cannot believe the faulty logic that Wayne employs. First the “thinking differently” thing and now this. A high-schooler could shoot down his “logic”.
Another week, another facepalm.
Mike – I’ll buy you as a prophet before Weinland. After all, didn’t you prophesy that Weinland would change his 1st timeline into the 2nd one? You clearly laid out the dates, and it fully came to pass a few weeks later. Which address should I mail you a check?
Hey Mike, have you seen this yet?
Oh yeah by the way “the check is in the mail” LOL.
“Ron Weinland who has prophesied many things, of which only one has come true (sort of) — the economy. Never mind that he’s prophesied the imminent collapse of the economy for years, and the economy while suffering has not collapsed.”
Now this the Con-Man side of ol Ron. Con-Man-Ron knows economies go up and then go down and then go up and then god down with occasional platue’s at times… Now if an economy has been going good for, oh say 15 years then its time for a down shift. Con-Man-Ron see’s this, has lived through several, and see’s the trend so he starts a shoutin “Economic Ruin”!
But Con-Man-Ron can not see the trends with pin point precision or even with a particular year. So he shouts early and shouts often and finally, ta-da, it happens. In fact it happens with a huge downturn, not just a typical slope. What a success! What a perfect prophecy! What a… but wait, the economy does not go into “Ruin”, it goes down like a paralyzed falcon but then halts as governments and people move to stop it (with their experiences from former recessions) and it does just that.
No Ruin.
Con-Man-Ron uses former knowledge to predict the inevitable and strikes gold! Witness Ron uses Con-Man-Ron’s “gold” to promote the end of the world. Con-Man-Ron see’s more prophet potential and Witness Ron see’s more glory and attention to himself. The two shake hands with a glint of a smile on thier lips and turn back to the work of deception to make both of them happy… and Laura too but that’s secondary.
But the economy rebounds, GDP increases, housing sales increase, manufactured goods increase… Ooops, and Con-Man-Ron & Witness Ron start making excuses because thier smiles have slipped away and they are into damage control.
What a life…
Ron,
You should have called your book 2012 God’s final Witness because
1) it is a better marketing tool. I am sure you are kicking yourself now for not getting on the 2012 bandwagon.
2) It would have given you more wiggle room. but, you are now wising up to using 2012 as the end goal instead of 2008 because people are pinging you on your failed 2008 predictions.
Ron, Ron, Ron, buddy, you missed the train. You were so sure of yourself- you haughty, condescending, con artist of a little man. I honestly wish you wouldn’t even get notoriety about your pathetic attempt at being God’s Annointed because, in your twisted sense, it lights you on fire.
Matt – you are a classic!
Aggie – thanks for that link
Yeah Aggie, I noticed the news article. ‘Bout as close to the 6th thunder as Ron’s going to get
It is about time for Ron to write another book. “2008 GFW” is getting rather stale, and putting ’2012′ in the title of a new book would garner more interest.
Questions about the NFACoG:
How long will I have to be a member before I get a place in the heavenly host? No waiting, just as soon as I get my tithes.
Will you develop superpowers, and will they incude fire breathing and Smiting with Plagues? Absolutely!!!
If so, will you do Smitings on request? For the right price.
Will you convince me that I am one of the super-special Chosen People, who are the only ones that are Right and the ones that god cares about more than anyone? Depends. How gullible are you?
Will your timeline for the end-times feature exciting and impressive disasters and wars? Yes. But always 5 years into the future.
Will you take suggestions for events into consideration? God will consider any ideas.
Do early joiners get special considerations for positions within the church? Seniority counts.
If so, is the position of Chief Toady or Executive Officer in charge of Brown-Nosing still open? I plan to have multiple positions. Seniority counts, but so do contributions.
Will Mrs Mike sit in the front during sermons and cackle hideously at every poor attempt at a joke? Currently, there is no Mrs. Mike. Will consider any cute young things as a possible candidate for the Silent Witness and Prophetess over the rest of the church position. But cackling is a deal breaker.
If so, how much extra tithe do we need to gather to make her stop? On second thought, cackling will not be a deal breaker to become silent witness. Silence of 2nd witness varies with tithe income.
What about just pure unadulterated mocking ability? Plus, I can create Tsunami’s in the bathtub…. can I at least be an Elder? A sherriffing one perhaps? Can I also get to do the disfellowshipping?
“Plus, I can create Tsunami’s in the bathtub…. can I at least be an Elder?”
I anoint you in my Far Reaching Church of God. You now have the authority to marry and bury. If you must disfellowship, please do it so that it doesn’t interfere with the squawking from my wife OK? Since you have left my flock (the first publicly I might add and must admit), you are doubly marked. Do you think that God is not mocked by your insubordination to my authority from the God who gave me the revelation to write the book 2008? Who do you think you are to question God who lied to me about the predictions I made? Isn’t God a liar? Why can’t you believe my God who lies to you? If you can’t believe me, then you should believe my Book- 2008: God’s Final Witness. EVERYTHING that was said in that book (except for me admitting I am a false witness) has COME TRUE! You have no EARS! I speak to only the people who want to believe me. You don’t understand! My prophecies are true**!
**My theological underpinnings are not based on the Holy Bible. I do not have any theological training that would point me to understand the scriptures. I indeed rely on my own logic and sense of grandiosity as was revealed in 2006 when I wrote this book. I realize that God doesn’t think of me as his “prophet” but I continue in the hopes that you will support me until I can move to Europe with a bank account large enough to withstand retirement. Thanks!
LOL Mark — you’re channelling Spanky there, not Witless Weinland. Are you cribbing from Meredith’s “I disfellowshipped and marked you thirty years ago, and BY THE ALMIGHTY CREATOR I WILL DISFELLOWSHIP AND MARK YOU TODAY TOO!” co-jerker letter he sent around last year? (I forget who it was Spanky was gunning for, at the time: ISTR it was Wild Willie.)
Can we just clarify that Queensland is larger than Texas in area, not population. The population of Texas alone is higher than the whole of Australia. Also, by Wikipedia area figures Queensland is only 2.6 times as large as Texas.
The bit about the size of Queensland relative to the size of Texas was put out by Wayne. And it’s about the most accurate thing he said in the whole sermon
Wayne? Accurate?
I had rather just assumed that those two words would not propagate the same sentance without first adding a “Un-” before the 2nd word…
Wayne accurate?
That will take some time to get used to… even a superficial “accurate” is a somewhat daunting tact to take when dealing with a heirarchy member of Ron’s cult.
Sounds like a good deal – count me in. I am spiritually on the way to the bank as I type this. I feel more blessed already.