Archive for October, 2009

A Catch in the Rye

Thursday, October 8th, 2009

ballroomIn his latest feast sermon from Australia, False Prophet Ronald Weinland discussed his senior evangelist Johnny Harrell, how Johnny was a witness to history.  Johnny Harrell was actually in the audience on December 17, 1994 when “man of sin” and “son of perdition” Joe Tkach Sr. opened the first seal by upending Armstrongism in a sermon delivered in Atlanta.  This sermon was reprised a week later in the Christmas eve sermon delivered in Big Sandy and distributed in a video to other WCG congregations.  Johnny was in Toledo in February of 2000 when Ron took over the Church of God Inc from the lay church board.  Also according to a statement in this sermon, speaking of the Harrells:

“They went with us to Israel, they were there when we began our job.  And I feel very confident that they’re going to be there at the very to witness the end as well.”

In Weinland’s parlance “beginning their job” refers to the 1260 days during which they are to be the actual witnesses and prophesy.  The first time they “began their job” was on April 17, 2008.  But after the first timeline failed, the “beginning of their job” was rescheduled for December 14, 2008.

But in his sermon of December 13, 2008 delivered from Jerusalem just a few hours before the first trumpet reblew at sundown in Jerusalem, Ron stated that Johnny and Myrtle had left Brussels for Atlanta the prior Sunday while Ron and Laura flew to Cairo for a little sightseeing before continuing on to Jerusalem.  So what timeline is Ron on?  Did he really “begin his job” as a Witness on April 17, 2008 when Johnny and Myrtle were actually with him in Jerusalem, or was it on December 13 when they weren’t?  Ron, inquiring minds want to know.

Ron also broke his long prophecy drought.  He discussed the recent earthquakes in the South Pacific, and then continued:

“Things are getting shaken up out there.  Just a little bit of a beginning of some things that are starting to take place, right now. I thought I’d pass that along to you, because they’re not small things that are happening and are going to increase mightily as we go forward here in the next few weeks.”

I’m just curious as to how long “the next few weeks” are going to last.  Ron, will this be longer or shorter than my quick death from the inside that began with your curse on me issued on December 20th?

It’s Not a Utopia During the Millennium

Tuesday, October 6th, 2009

False Prophet Ronald Weinland gave the title of this post during his last sermon at the resort area of Rotorua in New Zealand before leaving to continue the feast at a resort in Victoria, Australia.  The title for his sermon was “God’s Purpose for the Millennium”.

The Millennium will be different but yet the same.  People will sin and even commit serious crimes.  No one, no matter how righteous, who dies during the Millennium will be immediately converted to spirit being to join the government of Ron, Laura, and the other 143,998 who were the first resurrection on the eve of Pentecost of 2012.  Some who die in the Millennium will be resurrected at the Great White Throne 100-year judgment, some as spirit beings and others physically to give it another try.

atriumWhat will the Millennium be like?  Ron’s most important doctrine: Government.  No wars.  And justice.  Those who commit crimes will be put out of their misery rather than suffering in jail.  Education will not allow the maddened mindless idiocy of Darwinism.  The work of the church during the millennium will be to prepare for resurrection of billions for the 100-year Great White Throne judgment.

But bad things can still happen.  Fires, accidents. But no texting will be allowed.  But people will be allowed to commit adultery.  So the Millennium will not be a Utopia.

Somehow there was some new truth in this blather.  And this appears to be a warmup for the big new truth to be delivered on Saturday.  Ho hum.  We’ll see.

Tomorrow in the US PKG members will assemble in various hotels around the country to listen to Deputy Sheriff Wayne deliver his feast sermon.

Jesus, Herbie, Ron, & the IRS

Sunday, October 4th, 2009

On the second day of the Feast of Tabernacles in rainy Rotorua, False Prophet Ronald Weinland continued with the second part of his “Family” series.  Mostly boring and a repeat of part 1, but a few interesting tidbits were dropped.

It seems that back in the WCG heyday, Ron encountered strife between the Canadian and the US ministurds.  Brothers Ephraim Vs. Manasseh, continuing the battles of 1812 even in God’s church.

poppy_bomb_dodRon took some time discussing the situation in Afghanistan and how opium production has increased since 2001.  Talked about the warlords:  “Just destroy it.  We wouldn’t dream of going in there and destroying their cash crops.  And that’s the first thing we should do.  Just go in there with the planes, with the bombs.  We have the bombs, just incinerate their poppies, ya know. Hypocrisy of people, hypocrisy of government.”  If Ron were president, our B-52 fleet would be working overtime carpet bombing the world.

He meandered to the story of the crucifixion of Christ.  Pilate didn’t want to kill Jesus, but his hand was forced by the Jews, who framed an innocent man.

“Here’s someone who’s innocent …. and they look for false witnesses.  They try to find people who would bear and give false witness.  We have that taking place today in the church.  Some who would like to find some to bear false witness against the church.  Because if they can find them they think they have a case, they can do something against the church, against me.  What a sick world we live in.  Mr. Armstrong had to put up with those things for a long time.  They don’t know who they’re messing around with.  They’re messing around with God.  But human beings don’t understand that.  And there are certain things that God allows in his plan.  That’s why I know full well exactly how it’s going to come down. And the only one that’s going to be given any power isn’t until the very end.  Ya know.  So God’s made it very clear — you’ve got a full open field, to say whatever you want to say, how strong you want to say it.  And you’re going to have some teeth to put into it.”

Feeling a bit uncomfortable with how close the IRS criminal investigation is getting, Ron?  Wrap yourself up with Jesus and Herbie to prepare the membership to rally behind you against the instrument of Satan. Get ready to spin like it’s 1979. Ron, if you know how it’s going to turn out, please share in detail so I can update my speculated timeline for the IRS criminal investigation of you.  And exactly when is God going to give your 41-week-old death curse against me some teeth? Oh, I see. It “isn’t until the very end.”

Ron in Rotorua

Saturday, October 3rd, 2009

Lunch on the First High Day of the FeastThe Feast of Tabernacles began first for the COG-PKG in New Zealand where Mr. and Mrs. False Prophet Ronald Weinland have traveled.  With the abbreviated feast schedule, Rotorua in New Zealand is the only location at which members assemble during the first 4 days of the feast.  Some local areas may be assembling for the first high day, and maybe a few of these areas will even have a catered meal between the morning and afternoon services as was the custom in past years when the COG-PKG assembled at one location in the US for the entire 7 days of the feast plus the Last Great Day.

Ron started his first sermon by mentioning the earthquakes, tsunamis, and typhoons of the last week.  Never mind that these are of lower intensity than the events that happened before he wrote “2008 – God’s Final Witness” which included the chapter “The Seven Thunders of the 6th Seal” and stated on page 115:

During the Sixth Seal, all Seven Thunders will be getting progressively louder. Before the Seventh (and final) Seal is opened, the Seven Thunders will become so pronounced that the validity of everything written about them in the previous chapter should roar loudly in the ears of anyone who is willing to admit the truth.

According to Ron, many single young men have joined his church.  Who are concerned that there aren’t as many single young women to date.  Prophetess Laura tells the young men that’s because they are not yet ready for young women, they need this time to grow so they are ready when hordes of nubile young females join the church later on.  Since Laura grew up in Armstrongism she’s well acquainted with how to handle complaints when things are bad – blame the member.

Ron talked about the opportunities that Jeremy has had to travel (even as the Great Tribulation continues).  Jeremy and Patricia live in Germany and traveled to Indonesia and Borneo.  I wonder where the opportunity for a young man to globe trot comes from and how this is financed.

Ron still is not dropping clues about the rabbit he’s going to pull out of the hat next Saturday on the Last Great Day.  Guess we’ll have to wait, as I have for my quick death from the inside now 41 weeks after Ron reissued his curse.