Archive for October 18th, 2009

The Weinland Gap Closes

Sunday, October 18th, 2009

False Prophet Ronald Weinland and False Prophetess Laura Weinland overcame the adversity of crashing airline computers and returned to Cincinnati to deliver his latest sermon.

According to Ron, his head was swimming last Saturday in Rye when he gave his letdown of a highly anticipated and oft-advertised Last Great Day sermon.  Ron, who graduated from Ambassador College with a minor in math, was confused by numbers and in turn gave a confusing sermon.  When I ran the numbers and determined a 280-day period of mercy and judgment which ended Trumpets of 2009 followed immediately by a  980-day period would end the day before Pentecost of 2012, and the combination would parallel his 1260-day second timeline, it was arrogantly pointed out to me that I didn’t have ears to hear.  Thus I had my nose rubbed in the Weinland Gap.

Ron posted a PDF file on his website.  The interesting part is shown below, with corrections by yours truly.

Weinland's Timeline Chart, Corrected

Weinland's Timeline Chart, Corrected

The tan timeline shows the original second timeline [talk about an oxymoron 😀 ].  The notation on it is confusing, implying that May 27, 2012 is part of the timeline which is not the case.  So I’ve marked it up in red, to show that the timeline ends with the day before Pentecost of 2012, on May 26.  Below that is the revision, with the 1260 days split into the first, throwaway 280-day time shown in orange and the new version of “time, times, and half-a-time” shown in yellow.  The orange timeline is properly notated, as the first day was Dec 14, 2008 and the last day was September 19, 2009.  The yellow timeline begins the following day, September 20.  And it ends on May  26, 2012, despite the confusing notation just like the tan timeline that it ends on May 27.  So I corrected it in red just as I did the tan timeline.

In summary, the 980-day period does not begin the 2nd day after Trumpets, but rather the day after Trumpets.  So the Weinland Gap between the 280-day period and the 980-days period has disappeared.  And Pentecost of 2012 is not part of the count.  But there still is a Weinland Gap — right between Ron’s ears.

I’m still confused.  If God revealed this new truth to Ron, then why did he get it wrong?  Or was God confused?  Is God a confused liar who fooled Ron with the first timeline and then gave him a confused revision to the second timeline?  Or does Ron not have ears to hear what God is telling him?  What else did he get wrong?

No, I think it’s like this.  To paraphrase a saying: “Figures lie, and insane lying false prophets figure.”  But they don’t always get their figures right the first time.

At the feasts of 2007 and 2008, Ron announced that there would not be a feast held the following year and that the members should take their second tithe and send it in.  This year he didn’t repeat that announcement and mandate.  In the sermon he clarified and told his members to hang on to it for now but he might demand it later. If Ron is not immobilized by either health or legal problems, there will be a PKG feast next year.

A few more questions for you, Ron:

  • Ron, you said that Pentecost 2012 had to be included in the 980-day count to be significant.  Since it’s no longer included in the 980 days and therefore is no longer significant, will you be observing it?
  • How are the earthquakes coming along, now that we’re 4 weeks into your shortened timeline for the Great Tribulation?
  • How are you going to squeeze 42 months of beast power into 980 days less the 28 that have elapsed since Trumpets?
  • Ron, you say you were apprehensive as the 280th day (Trumpets) approached.  Did you get even the slightest hint that God was annoyed with you by making you too ill to preach?
  • And when will my quick death from the inside happen, as it’s now a revised 280-day-time + 3 weeks after you pronounced your death curse on me?