Ron’s Coffee Cakes

For a change, False Prophet Ronald Weinland stayed in Cincinnati this weekend. In honor of the occasion, his son Jeremy and daughter-in-law Patricia have traveled from Germany for a visit.  Ron and Laura have plenty of room for visitors in their mansion on the golf course.

In honor of Ron’s being a fan of Starbucks, Libby made him a couple of cakes in the shape of Starbucks coffee cups last week while in Dallas — both standard size and Texas size.  Hopefully Libby’s marriage to Bo which was quickly promoted by impending end-time events is turning out well.

Weinland’s long-time elder Terry Wrozek has been nearly caught-up, having lagged behind others promoted ahead of him.  Perhaps he got rid of some sin in his life, or maybe he completely cleaned out his 401k for Ron. Terry was promoted to Senior Elder a couple of months ago. And now finally Terry is the third of Weinland’s evangelists. However, Johnny Harrell has been promoted to Senior Evangelist above him, and Laura still outranks both of them as Prophetess. Still several layers of authority between Evangelist Terry and God — although it’s not clear whether Jesus and God have their own layers or are on the same one with Ron.

Ron mentioned increases stress levels and a stirred-up spirit world. He had a hard week and doesn’t know if there will indeed be a Feast of Tabernacles in a few weeks. He also mentioned that the apostles had been imprisoned. Perhaps this is an indication that the IRS may soon make him an imprisoned prophet.

Here is a clip of Rick Miller’s presentation at ideaCity. Perhaps Rick’s twisting the arm of Ron’s brother is what sent the formidable prophets fleeing.

And here’s a clip of Tom Harpur’s presentation at ideaCity immediately following that of the Spokesman Witness, which also didn’t make our end-time prophet and prophetess very happy. Can anyone identify the woman in the audience shown between 43 and 49 seconds in this clip?

It’s now 37 weeks since the Insane Lying Lunatic cursed me to die speedily from the inside. Only 3 more before the big 4-0.

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18 Comments

  • Dill Weed says:

    I can hardly wait until we are on the other side of the Feast thing and nothing continues to happen. Of course, there’s the addition to the 50th Truth to distract them for a little while, too. But, time is running out.

    Tick Tock

    Dill Weed

  • Kirrily XPKG says:

    Time is indeed, running out (for Ron that is!!!)

  • jack635 says:

    Starbucks eh?
    Ron is disgusted by pornographic billboards, yet he always has a starbucks in his hand. Have you seen the logo on the starbucks cup? The current logo portrays a naked woman with long hair covering her breasts. The original logo is of a naked twin tailed siren. A siren is a dangerous bird woman from greek mythology. Apparently this siren has a fishes or serpents tail. Her crown has a pentagram star and I can see her nipples. So much for pagan crosses, how about those half naked sirens that guard Ron’s coffee.

    I guess Ron does not know about the old “you shall not eat or drink that which is offered to and idol” clause in his contract.

    Does this sound like I am getting carried away, Ronald Weinland style? The poor deceived Roman Catholics are pagans because they wear a cross, but Ron is okay if there is a bird woman from the island Sirenum scopuli.

    Half bird woman and half serpent. Surely a prophet of God would know this.

    Oh yeah, I forgot! He’s not a prophet of God.

  • jack635 says:

    And that Starbucks siren is holding her tail fins in a very suggestive manner.

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    Here’s a more detailed history of Ron’s pornographic coffee cups.

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    Can anyone identify the woman in the audience shown between 43 and 49 seconds in the Tom Harpur clip?

  • Kirrily XPKG says:

    Why, is the awesomely powerful 2nd witness of revelation being silent as per usual (until you see her in person – talk, talk, talk, talk). I used to think she was lovely, now – just as guilty as the other deluded witness.

  • Whisper says:

    Eldars being promoted?
    Evangelists being promoted?
    Why is this I ask?
    If Ron where to be looking at Fed problems ;-) then it would be good to get the “church” in line and the heirarchy specifically in place so everyone knows his place and his limits within the hierarchy.
    But then how can Gods prophet be taken to Club Fed as even the mere attempt would rebound upon the instigators and they in turn would quickly find themeselves in Club Fed.
    That is is Ron does not simply burn them to the ground with a flaming breath attack?
    Of course I don’t think Mr. Fed thinks of such things normally so I rather guess they would make the attempt. Poor Feds, they have no idea of thier peril…

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    I’m not so sure that it was a good move (for Ron) to elevate Johnny to senior evangelist. With Ron on an extended vacation at Club Fed, if all the evangelists were of the same rank then Laura as prophetess over the church could play them against each other so no one could take center stage and replace Ron.

  • jack635 says:

    I just had a profound revelation.
    What if the second witness starts talking while Ron is in chains on account of his gospel? After all, she is above all who are ordained in Ron’s COG package.

  • jack635 says:

    I meant she could start giving the sermons. They do have the ability to rewrite the bible as Ron has demonstrated.

  • Dill Weed says:

    Being in COG-PKG now is like riding a bus to a casino in a third world country through mountainous terrain during heavy rain storm with a liqoured up, power drunk driver, Ron, with Laura sitting in the first row behind him encouraging him on (back seat driving, perhaps). You know your going over a cliff, but you just don’t know when.

    You can jump out of the warm, seemingly safe bus into the cold, rainy world of reality with all of us who don’t know what is going to happen and are grinning and bearing it or can snuggle with you dearly held and intoxicating delusion until the bitter end.

    Dill Weed

  • Kirrily XPKG says:

    Wow – well put Dill. Very vivid – that is EXACTLY what it is like. Glad I jumped….

    Have a great day/night all :-)

  • AggieAtheist says:

    “Can anyone identify the woman in the audience shown between 43 and 49 seconds in the Tom Harpur clip?”

    You sure that’s the Silent Witless? May just be my crappy graphics card, but it looks like she’s wearing a cross.

    Oh, BTW, drinking Starbucks was frowned on by the church. For the very reasons Dill Weed cites above. A further step into apostasy from Armstrongism for our Witless Profit……

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    I can’t tell what the pendant is that Laura is wearing, but I rather doubt it’s a cross. Since Kirrily has actually met the not-always-Silent Witness in person, I’ll take her word for it. Tom Harpur was the presenter immediately following the Spokesman Witness, so I would expect Laura to have been in the audience.

  • Steve says:

    Mike….you asked who is the woman in the video between 43 and 49 seconds….are you being humorous/sarcastic?…i can’t tell lol…..but if you are beng serious, i can tell you 100% it is laura weinland the so called second witness. I met her in person so i have no doubts what so ever it is her. Why did they show her in the video though?….thats what puzzles me
    I put a fake mail because iam not concerned if you publish it or not…i just want you to know the answer to what you were asking.

  • Steve says:

    Oh yeah and laura is a big flirt in person with the males, at least when i met her. She has a tendency to “feel their arms” for muscles and comments in a giggly teenage girl fashion…i was pretty shocked at this considering her status. I wonder if Ron knows?
    Also i forgot to mention i think it is a little unfair to ask for peoples emails to be able to comment…but it is your site.

  • Mike (DDTFA) says:

    Yes, Steve, my question was intentionally on the snarky side. After all, I’ve had a picture of both of the Two Witlesses on the sidebar of my blog for most of a year. :-D I think that Laura was just caught in a random audience reaction shot.

    When I was back on Blogger, anonymous comments were a problem, and I had to take enforcement actions after the fact to clean up. WordPress does not offer a comment setting that requires a Name without also requiring an email address. If you want to put in a fake email address for your comment, that’s fine.

    Yours is not the first report reaching me that the Silent Witness has an eye for the young men.